I would like some advice on how to appropriately confront a women(who is my husband's cousin's wife) who continues to gently flirt with my husband when we are around her. It's not major flirting, I am not angry...just annoyed at the the women, and would like to confront her in a mature manner. She's the piano player and chior director at our church, she's S. Korean like my husband and I don't want to make this a big deal. I just want to let her know I see what she is doing and that I'm tired of the disrespect. Please only give me non-violent and mature advice.
2006-10-22 04:18:43 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS. My husband is not returning the flirt. He doesn't know what to think and he supports me in however I handle it.
2006-10-22 04:36:06 · update #1
Take her aside far enough from listening ears and keep a smile on your face and say "I don't care for the way you flirt with my husband. Keep it up and we'll talk again, but my words won't be so calm then". Turn away still smiling. Tell your husband what you said and ask him to back you up by not being in the position to hear her words.
2006-10-22 04:28:14 · answer #1 · answered by areyoukidding 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if there is a right way to approach such subjects, but in my experience there are women who thrive on flirting with married men, and making the wives jealous. Talk to your husband about this first. Do you feel secure enough to know your husband would never cheat on you? Is he flirting with this woman too. Why don't you try being more friendly towards her. Let her know who happy and cherished your husband makes you feel. However be careful not to let her know how she is affecting you by flirting with your husband. Do not give her the power to hurt you or come between you and your husband. Remember you guys are a team and teams stick together.
2006-10-22 04:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her out to a public place, maybe for a cup of coffee, why public is so it makes it harder for people to get explosive, people tend not to want to make a scene. Most likely she will be in the defensive no matter what, most are in this situation, however I had one cry and say she was sorry and blah blah blah, just so at the next meeting she did it again (women can be caddy). Okay, back to you, tell her you are uncomfortable with the way she communicates with your husband versus other men, give examples so the message is clear. Explain to her you don't want any hard feelings between the two of you but if she doesn't respect the boundaries of your marriage, that family events and church events are going to get a little complicated. I also recommend you talk to your husband, if he is like mine he is probably clueless that she is even flirting with him, if he is, just tell him you wanted to give him a heads up, if he is aware ask his take and make sure yours is loud and clear.
Good Luck!
2006-10-22 04:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to the husband to put her (the flirting one) in her place. If a guy was flirting with me in front of my husband, he wouldn't find it funny. It's up to the couple to show that they are a couple and then most people will act respectful around them - unless the flirting one is totally low-class. In any case, the husband should not be smiling from ear to ear from a little attention. His attention belongs with his wife.
2016-03-18 22:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first speak to your husband and explain to him what you feel and what you have noticed. See what he says. Maybe he feels as if she is coming on to him too. I think you need to keep him informed because it does concern his side of the family. After speaking with him, ask for his advice. It may even be best for him to casually confront her the next time he feels pressured. That way, you do not have to get in the middle of things and look like "the jealous wife." Ultimately, this is between him and her. If this is something that you want to handle, try getting to know her more (even if you cringe @ the thought). That way, there is a mutual respect and maybe she will not cross that line. Good luck to you!!
2006-10-22 04:25:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could start by asking her questions about her marriage. That way you could find out whether or not she's happy w/ her husband & their relationship. Draw her out by asking her questions about how she would feel if her husband flirted w/ other women. If she happens to say it would be fine w/ her, let her know it would NOT be fine w/ your OR hubby. That way you've made your positions clear w/out a direct confrontation. :)
2006-10-22 04:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by Rocker Chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that's not very Christian like to flirt with a married man. And you can't help but wonder... what the pastor must think of her doing this??
2006-10-22 05:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What will confronting her do in regards to your future relationship with her? Think about that before going ahead. If your'e not angry or upset then why bother at all? Avoid situations where she will be there. First off...tell your husband that it's bothering you. See how he handles it and then secondly tell her you feel its inapporpriate for her to be flirting around your husband and that it bothers you. Good luck....
2006-10-22 04:22:21 · answer #8 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have talked this over with your husband and he isn't returning the flirting, just let it go. Other's will see what she is doing too, maybe even her husband. Talk to your pastor or minister. She may not even realize she is doing it.
2006-10-22 05:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by victoria E. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that is disrespectfully and you don't appreciate it. That it makes both of you uncomfortable. That you are both happily married to each other and that will never change no matter how much she flirts with him. Good Luck. God Bless
2006-10-22 06:14:17 · answer #10 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋