Here's a bit more detail; we've lived together for 5 years; I don't see any of my friends or colleagues outside work because he doesn't have any friends himself. If I do for lunch with someone (even female) and get caught, he goes really funny.
He thinks that going to see my parents is a waste of money. (he doesn't see his parents)
When I'm texting, he walks past and looks over my shoulder.
I go to the gym three times a week. He either comes and has a look if my car is parked in the front, or sits in his car and waits until I come out or walks into the gym to 'see how hard I'm working out'.
If I'm five minutes late from work, he asks why and says 'that's strange'.
He refuses to spend any money one me, every so often he says 'shall we go to lunch' and then I'm having to buy my own.
Etc etc etc. It's beginning to drive me potty but just don't know how to get out of this...
2006-10-22 04:17:10 · 16 answers · asked by little_friend 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I left last year in November for about 2 months; I went through hell, was being stalked etc etc and then agreed to come back although I didn't want to and I knew it was going to be a big big mistake. Since then things got a LOT worse and I'm scared to leave again because last time I failed completely...
2006-10-22 04:35:46 · update #1
Sort it all out behind his back then just drop the clanger and go! He sounds dangerous!!
You must have some friends who wouldn't mind putting you up for a while? Arrange with your job to take a couple of days off to get things sorted out. Move all your stuff out while he's at work (I'm assuming here that he does work?) then tell him and leave, immediately. Don't hang around for him to give you any sh!t.
Have you been in touch with the police? (OK, probably a waste of time at this point) or your local Citizens Advice Bureau, they maybe able to give you some pointers as to what your rights are should he start stalking you again.
And as someone else said, definitely tell everyone about your situation and then you will have lots of back up when it gets bad and I hate to say it but it probably will get bad for a while.
Be strong and go for it. Good luck!
2006-10-22 05:36:19 · answer #1 · answered by Number O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The guy obviously has issues that need to be sorted. There does not seem to be any trust on his part and very little respect for you and your wishes.
I think you need to talk to him and say that you do not see a future in your relationship.
A few further questions - if he changed his behaviour, would you still want to be with him? Do you love him? Is he ever affectionate with you? (ahem,,not just at bedtime, if you get my drift.) Are your jobs fairly equal in status? (That can be a real problem with some men.)
I feel really sorry for you as you are abviously un-happy and under stress. I hope this helps - even if its what not to do! :)
2006-10-22 04:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-15 07:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by josepa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not waste one more moment of your life with this *k*nob jockey. Move personal stuff out when he's at work & just disappear for a week - go sick in work and go on holiday somewhere. Don't switch your phone off. Let him know you are thinking about finishing with him and you'll tell him when you get back. When you get back - finish with him.
2006-10-22 04:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by Evo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a control freak of the first order. I lived with one for 12 years before I found the courage to walk away. Is there a friend you can stay with? Or maybe your family? Men like this don't get better, they only get worse. Before you know it you won't be allowed to go out to work and you'll be virtually his prisoner. Don't wait 12 years like I did, please.
2006-10-22 04:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by F 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take control, be honest with him and stick to your guns. All your reasons sound perfectly valid so just go with them. Oh, and tell everyone you know what you are doing so if he stalks you again or worse they'll be there to back you up. Good luck.
2006-10-22 04:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by garfet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not happy with this man and you are never going to be happy with him. He is a control freak and this will never change, if anything it will get worse. Get out of this relationship now and give yourself a chance to meet someone you can be happy with.
2006-10-22 04:24:23 · answer #7 · answered by trixi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may do these things because he actually cares for you alot and cant help himself.
he also may be worried about the relationship but has no idea what he is doing is wrong.
i suggest you tell him straight.
be honest and either give him an option to change or leave.
at least he will no exactly whats happened and why.
that way he may learn from it.
2006-10-22 04:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't deserve you, get out while you can. He's not considerate of you so I don't see why you need to worry about him. Just be honest with him and tell him straight out that you are leaving.
2006-10-22 04:32:04 · answer #9 · answered by IC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a real loser.
Good luck in getting rid of him, I'm sure you'll be much better off without him. I'm sure you deserve better.
2006-10-22 04:25:27 · answer #10 · answered by savs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋