How do I stop myself from falling in love with another man?

Question

Ok, here's the deal. I have been with my husband for seven years, married for a little over two. Back in January, a co-worker and I went away for training for a week. We hung out in my room and drank and one thing led to another, blah, blah, blah. We didn't have sex but we may as well have. Since then, I can't stop thinking about him. The only thing physical that has happen since January is two separate times where we kissed a little. The flirting however is really intense and we have created a "relationship without a relationship" if that makes any sense. I know he likes me too although he has been married for 30 years (he is about 12 years older than me). We have tried to cool it off because we both knkow this isn't right and wil not end well but the cooling off lasted only about two or three days. I am developing real feelings for this guy and I am pretty sure he feels the same. Without changing jobs, how can I make myself not fall in love with him?

Answer 1

Try to find out more about him. Often there is something, some opinion or attitude, in another person that we find to be a turn-off. I think if you were really in love with your husband, you couldn't be having feelings for someone else, so you probably have more issues than just the "other man".

Answer 2

Uh, grow up!? Cheating is wrong for any reason. Both of you get divorced if you want to try a relationship. Don't try a relationship then get divorced. That can get nasty in divorce court if and when ya'll are discovered.
If you don't want to "fall in love" with another man, then don't. What kinda person are you to let a primal feeling like lust rule your life. Besides, getting drunk with another man in a motel room on a job training trip or any trip is wrong when you're married and you know it!
Change jobs, change departments (if it's a big business to where you won't see him, which it doesn't sound like it), or just plain tell him to stop. And you stop to. Otherwise, both of ya get divorced now and then see how you click together. Think about this, he's been married a while. He may just want to feel young again and not really care for you. He could be just after a piece of young, fresh booty. And you're falling for it.

Answer 3

Stay away from him and seek intense counseling. Get more involved with your husband and put effort into rekindling the 'in love' feeling all couples feel in the first couple of years. Suggested reading: The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman. Love is a decision (can't remember the authors name but this is also a good read). Take both books to work with you and read them when you are feeling amorous toward your 'other' guy. If you pursue a relationship with him you will regret it one day - probably sooner rather than later.

Answer 4

You allowed yourself to be in a vulnerable situation where you're using drinking as an excuse. Things don't just happen. You were probably bored with your marriage and were looking for some excitement. Knowing that you're in a marriage wasn't important enough for you and clearly still isn't. So what's missing? Speak with your husband because when thoughts of infidelity or emotions for someone else develop, something is wrong. If you can't distance yourself from your co-worker, what would you do for your marriage? What's important to you? Furthermore, what if this whole situation involved your husband instead of you? Speak with your husband and or a marriage counsellor.

Answer 5

Girl you are just horney for this guy
don't throw awy your marriage for him
he is not going to leave his wife of 30 years for a quicky
I bet if you talk to other co-workers you found out that you are not the first nor the last
I worked in a big comp those was always happening the same age difference also always the woman getting hurt
so take a few step and try to learn how regnized lust from LOVE
Take step to recandle your romance or lust for your husband
go on a Vacation, take a cruise

Answer 6

gosh girl... stop building up the fire now.

Getting involved with a married man is a no no. All the kissing, flirting and blah blah blah are just mere infatuations.

You are the boss of your own feelings. If you tell yourself no, it will be no. However, it seems to me you are allowing it happen and men being men, when they see the door open, why not come in??

So, it all depends whether you still treasure the marriage u have or you wanna run to greener pastures without knowing whether it would be green or not.

Good luck sweetie...

Answer 7

This may not be what you want to hear, but you need to stop. What you are doing is not exactly right and I think you know that. But I know that right now your feelings are telling you different. But you have to stop and think, put yourself in his wives shoes or even you husbands, what you are doing is not fair to them. You both made vows on your wedding that said "till death do us part", that is through thick and thin, good and bad. You need to take a break, get alone, seperate yourself from this "guy" and focus on your relationship with your husband. Think about why you married him, what about him used to make your heart race,what about him used to give you butterflies, what made you decide he was the one, what made you fall in love with him? Your husband may lack some things that this "man" has but he also has qualities that this "man' could never have. Take time again to get to know your husband and fall in love with him all over agian. If you want your marriage to work it will, but it is up to you. You will have to make some decisions that may not be easy but will be worth it in the long run. If you set your mind to making your marriage work it will. It may come down to you telling your husband that there are problems, work these things out together. If you are feeling a lack of love, or distant, let him know, communication is the number on thing to a relationship, and these issues cannot be worked out alone. Rember your vows and remeber that this marriage is about both of you, I really do suggest you work hard to work it out. And i know this is hard but it may come down to changing jobs, but you have to ask yourself what is more important to you, your job or your marriage? I really hope things work out for you and would love talk to you. Please keep in touch.

Answer 8

If you are happy with hubby and don't have a reason to leave him,its not worth it,there are so many things that happen becauseof what maybe just an attraction. think this out clearly before something happens. The guy might be coming on to you because he is in a bad marriage,don't let that fool you. voice of experience.

Answer 9

7 yr itch.
for one he will never leave his wife for u. so why go thru that and run the risk of loosen what u have with ur husband. u need to come to the reality that it can never go anywhere with him except sex and a booty call. once u understand that what ever u do..with him is only gonna be for enjoyment and nothing more. why do it.? why run the risk of hurting everyone around u ..for some penis. i can tell u ..it isnt worth it. ur an adult ..so act like it. tempation is a evil lil thing but u can choose to not do anything else with him..tell him it has to stop u dont want to hurt anyone and u know that it will never go anywhere..now he will say it can n lie lie lie..but dont be stupid

Answer 10

He doesnt feel the same way trust me.

Ask your self why you have even looked at him when your married? Look at your marriage maybe your feeling stuck in a rut. If you truely love your husband talk to him change a few things get imaginative!!!!

This guy at work is feeding his ego a girl 12 years younger I bet he is the envy of the work place!!!!