Need help ASAP give advice please?

Question

My boyfriend and I of almost a yr broke up the other day and haven't talked since. We are doing the long distance thing and he began to act like he didn't want to be there but he said that wasn't the case and that he loves me. Well I couldn't take the attitude anymore so I broke things off. He sounded mad and he just hung up on me. I am now sitting here thinking that I made a big mistake. I miss him so much and haven't talked to him in about 3 days. I plan to call him tonight what should I say to get him back or at least friends I love him so much

Answer 1

Well, having just had a big fight with my husband, maybe I can give you some advice:

First, I would be wondering why, if he said he really loved me he hadn't called ME. If you are going to talk to him explain that you were angry about his attitude, that he seemed to be lacking enthusiasm and you didn't want him to stay in the relationship if he wasn't happy. I would ask him why he was acting the way he did (as now he's had three days to think about it) and see if he can give you a satisfactory answer. Explain that you don't want to break up but that you were very upset and angry and said things you regret. Also point out that his silence (him never calling you) makes you think that maybe you were right and see how he responds. Then be prepared to make suggestions to improve your relationship (if he is willing to have one still) as long-distance relationships are hard. Suggest things you would like him to do and ask him what he would like you to do. Make it more like a negotiation. If he really loves you still hopefully he will accept your apology for dumping him, or you will find out he's not into it any more and you were right all along. At least things will be resolved for you....

Just a word of caution: if you get back together and he continues to act distant, don't allow it. Explain that if makes you feel upset and as if you are the cause, and he should explain to you if he has a problem or something that is causing him to act that way. If he's not willing to work things through with you in the relationship and deal with the things that are upsetting you, he's not worth your time.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Long distance relationships are hard to keep warm. Maybe your boyfriend is having trouble handling the long distance thing. There's no reason for you not to call and talk to him. Best advise in this situation is to let him talk. Tell him you are sorry (if you really are) and that you'd like to work through the problems. Let him know that if he's willing to talk about how he feels about the long distance relationship you are ready to listen. I don't know how often you get to see each other or your ages. That too can make a difference. When handling a long distance relationship all you can do is trust the other person that you are talking too, to be truthful. If he says you are wrong in your assessment of his feelings and says he loves you, then it's entirely on your shoulders to know how much you trust that he's telling the truth. Good luck in what ever you decide.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with calling him. It sounds like you two have little in common, and are trying to hold onto a memory of the days you got along. Well, people who get along don;t break up, pure and simple.

You sound relatively young. Long distance or not, I can tell you stories of people who tried to wait for each other over many years apart, and then, when the y reunited, they realized they had changed and that they dd not romantically have enough to continue.

I think therapy for you is a good thing, or certainly., do The Forum, a weekend of self-discovery offered by The Landmark Education Corporation to move beyond what you are doing with your life.

Answer 4

Contrary to what many think, absence does not make the heart grow stronger. Long distance relationships are hard enough, but even moreso when neither of you have much to contribute to making the relationship strong. Maybe one of you needs to go visit the other and figure out if there is really a relationship at all.

Answer 5

Tell him exactly how you feel. Be honest. What have you got to lose at this point? You already broke up with him so if he doesn't want to get back together after he knows your true feelings...than at least everything will be settled...and you can try to move on. I am sorry that you feel you made the wrong decision...and I hope that everything works itself out.

Answer 6

I think you need to tell him exactly what you stated in your question. Tell him you are thinking you made a big mistake. As yourself what you REALLY want before you phone him, then speak from the heart. Que sera, sera! Whatever will be, will be.
Then, no matter what, at least you spoke from your heart and will not be left wondering, "what if?"

Answer 7

Don't apologize until he apologizes for his behavior. Deep down there was a reason that you broke up with him,really talk it out with him and come to a conclusion

Answer 8

be open and honest with him and tell him you are sorry. long distance relationships are very stressful on everyone. with him not being there or you not being with him you guys don't get to share your true feelings with each other. just remember to always be honest with your feelings and also be understanding of his feelings.

Answer 9

So call him and ask..."can we talk?" If he says yes, tell him what you just wrote. Godloveya.

Answer 10

"i love you so much and i'm really sorry for what i did... i hope you can forgive me.." i think after you say this, he will forgive you, since according to you he loves you..