should you be allowed to spank your child?

Question

i have to write a play for my english 101 class and i would like to know where parents stand on spanking. should you as a parent be allowed to spank your child? i would like to have answeres from people who believe that you should and those who belive that we shouldn't. we all know the difference between spanking and abuse but not everyone does.

Answer 1

Realize this is one of those questions that opens the floodgates on Yahoo answers.

You need to define clearly and succintly what exactly you mean by "spanking." Don't assume everyone knows what it means. Some believe it means knocking the bloody hell out of your kid for no good reason.

Answer 2

I don't know about "allowed", when the government gets involved in personal matters, its never a good thing. The government is not a good parent.

However on a personal level, and I am the mother of 23yr old twin daughters, I believe that spanking is ineffective in the long term. Yes it has some immediate results, and with very young children, a swat on the behind is a good way to get their attention especially if they are about to do something dangerous. However, it needs to be recognized that resorting to physical violence that is non consentual (as it always is with a child), simply shows that you are out of control. Physcial pain teachs only one thing, that you can't substantiate why they should not do something. Its just a physcial way of saying "Because I told you so." If you can explain to a child why they should not do something, even if its simply "this is the rule in this family, and you are breaking the rule", then they actually learn right from wrong instead of simply not doing wrong because they will hurt. There is nothing there to help them understand how to get along in a society, something they will need to do the better part of their life.

My kids were not angels, but really well behaved kids because they knew what was expected of them, and I was consistant about what the consequences were. I didn't have the typical problems with early sex explorations, smoking, drinking, partying, or pregnancies. They are 23, college graduated, in grad school, one is married and working a full time job as well. They are good people, I enjoy their company and they know how to act in public.

Answer 3

As long as you are talking about simple spanking that does not bruise or injure the child, I think parents should be allowed to do that. Having said that, I would not spank my child (if I had one) because I believe there are more effective discipline methods. I am not convinced that a child who is spanked learns to respect his parents. Respect is the key, especially when the child becomes a teenager. At some point the child will get too old to spank - what can you do then if the child does not learn to respect you?

Answer 4

Yes I believe that Spanking is an acceptible form of Discipline, and in many cases the only form that has an impact. The arguments against it tend toward the idea that violence begets violence, however Spanking when used for the intended purpose is not violent even though it inflicts pain. When used properly the child has had it explained to them what offense or behavior the spanking is for and why it is unacceptable and the one issuing the punishment is not striking out in anger. Children typically are not mature enough to understand the nuances of "why" a particular behavior is not acceptable which is why discipline is needed in the first place and in many cases a time out or other non-painfull punishment is not enough to enforce in the child the need for proper behavior, in these cases it is necessary to use a stronger form of discipline, one that does not necessitate understanding of the "why" but which is enough of a deterrant that the behavior is not repeated. In short Spanking should be used when a child enjoys the behavior enough that the "fear" of punishment is overwhelmed necessitating a punishment which induces enough dread that the behavior is not repeated.

I offer as proof of the folly of removing spanking as an option in discipline the current high level of school and public violence in children. In previous decades, before the advent of Laws prohibiting the use of Corporeal Punishment it was virtually unheard of for any child to "go on a rampage" in school, today it has become almost commonplace to see stories of "School Shootings", this even with metal detectors and Security officers in our Schools. When I was in school to suggest either of these things might one day be required would have been considered outlandish and ridiculous, now in contrast it is considered foolhardy not to have these in place at minimum.

What major socialogical change has occurred regarding child rearing from then to now ? The glaringly obvious is our Laws regarding Corporeal Punishment in schools and the advent of the Social Services programs.

Answer 5

I personally believe that you should be allowed to spank your child. Im not a parent, but I know that when I have children and they are extremely naughty and rude, I will spank them. In the western world we are frowned upon when we spank our children, but there's a difference between a spank and abuse.

A spank is a slight discomfort administered to the child to get them to stop doing what they are doing, and I believe should ONLY be used if they are extremely naughty. It should not bruse or damage.

Abuse is beating a child up, smacking over the head (which I see parents do in supermarkets), whipping with objects. The problem is that some parents overdo it, and those who overdo it are simply abusive people anyway, because any person with at least 2 brain cells know what the difference is between a spank and a beating.

A spank does not cause your child to grow up and be a murderer, rapist or thug. It doesn't cause them to abuse their own kids or partners. Those who end up abusing their families were the ones who had parents who crossed the line from simple spank to beating the child on a regular basis.

I grew up in UK and raised by an African mother. In Africa children are spanked, it's the culture. I didn't grow up to be a murderer, Im not psychologically scarred, and I don't beat people up. I often watch super nappy on Channel 4 (UK) and I see all these parents seeking advise from a so called "expert"who probably has never had children in her life. These parents are filmed for the nation to see, their 4 year old hitting them. I will never let my 4 year old punch me in the face. Im not saying I'll punch him in the face. But I would spank him, to show him what its like and to know that he can't get away with it. A lot of criminals are not so because they were spanked, its because often in life they got away with their bad behaviour and they carried that through their life.

Sometimes you need to fight fire with fire, but there must be that love at the end. Explain to them why they were spanked. I never believe you should spank a child without reason and they HAVE TO KNOW reason too.

A parent should be allow to spank their own child, within reason and not for every little thing they do wrong. It should be used in extreme cases only and as said before only be enough to cause momentary discomfort, never bruising or long term pain, mentally or physically. It can be as simple as a pat on that hand, reinforcing it with "NO! stop that"

DarkStar
UK

Answer 6

If spanking is done out of love and not anger, it's not wrong and it's not abuse. There's a big difference. However, it should only be done as a last resort for being disrespectful and not for minor offenses.

Love and Logic or Magic 1-2-3 are more superior to spanking.

Answer 7

Yes I believe I have every right to spank my child. If I have to sign a paper every year for the principle to discipline my child that means I have the right to discipline in my home. That is what's wrong with kids now who go around running your house there is no discipline. The time out thing is just away for kids to sit & think of how they can piss you off later. I beleive you can spank or take things away fom them but I don't think my kids will ever run my house cause I'm not their friend I'm their mother.A big difference when they undertsand that.

Answer 8

I was spanked and I turned out fine. I spanked my son. He is 22 years old now and turned out fine. It is not the do all and be all of discipline but there are times when it is the best.

Answer 9

To put it crudely, should I be able to kick someone's as$ at work if they misbehave? This wouldn't be allowed, so why should beating a defenseless child be allowed. I had the snot beat out of me as a kid. My wife on the other hand was never touched. We both turned out to be good people, so were the beatings I took necessary?

Answer 10

Yes, but I only spank mine for lying, Stealing or cheating and luckily I don't have to deal with much of that>