what do I do with my husband he can't jet a job?

Question

I have worked very hard to have a better life for my family. I have a child with my husband and I went back to school and worked on a business plan for a small business. I received my loan and we talked about a "plan" that he would continue working(nights) and I would run and operate the shop (child is in school) but before I was to quit my old job to open my store he up and quit his job first. So I took the opertunity to continue with my business I was already in to deep and I wanted it. No he did not have another job to go to and it has been 5 months the business is paying for itself great! but I am not brining home money for the family. EI is prosesing and I think we have it but we have been living on overdraft all this time. I am really angry at him for doing this he says I "demotivate" him by constantly getting on his case to get some income and said that I could have held off in doing my business I think if he was unhappy at work he could have looked for a job before he quit

Answer 1

I would get counseling. It sounds as though he is jealous of you being successful. Or he may just be extremely insecure. It sounds as though you had both discussed this all before you started the business. Did he agree with everything at that point? He obviously has issues to work through. If you don't have insurance anymore to help with counseling costs - start with your local church. They often offer excellent counselers.

Answer 2

You two need to sit down and have a serious talk. He needs to understand the situation without him feeling like you're nagging him. And even if you are, he needs to understand that this is a serious problem he has put your family in. He is a partner in this relationship and he needs to step up and do his part. Why did he up and quit his first job? Is there any physical reason he has that stops him from working? If not, then he needs to get off his lazy butt and find one. McDonald's will hire anyone. There are so many jobs out there, decent paying ones. Get him the classifieds and tell him to step up and take some resposibility. You have worked too hard to put your business in jeopardy now. If he can't contribute to the family and you have done all you can to better the situation, then you need to give him the ultimatum. He needs to know your serious. You can't keep living on overdraft. What if you have an emergency? You could loose your business.

Even if you don't really want a divorce. If he thinks you will take that route, then it might be enough for him to take some action and do his part. But you need to stand your ground!! He is being selfish and he need to think about the whole family. If that was the plan then he needs to hold up his end of the deal. He can't just sit back and expect you to do all the work while he veg's on the couch!!

Good luck!! I hope things work out for you. Divorce should always be the very last option, but sometimes there comes a time when that's the only option you've got left.

Answer 3

Hi, wow, i see this alot around Detroit. Your husband could get a low paying job, but he don't want to, because he is a skilled at a job that he can't get? or says "I'm not working for no 8$ per hour"? If that's the case, "trouble is coming!" Sock away some money that he don't know about. The next thing that happens, is you will fall in love with an older man that is financially stable, and there are plenty of older, financially stable single men, that fall in love very easily with younger women. Really....he needs to get off his *** and get a job, any job, or this will happen! Sorry, good luck, Le.

Answer 4

I soooooo feel for you. Your situation is very similar to the situation I was in with my first husband. We agreed I'd put him through college and then he'd put me through. So I got a decent job (above minimum wage with benefits) and did my part. We had a baby. Then he quit college! I told him that it was my turn to go, and his turn to work. At that point, the creep just left me.

I'm soooo glad he left.

Not that I believe divorce is the first option or anything, but if your partner isn't doing his part, he's no partner. It would be cheaper for you to just support yourself and the child and not have to pay for his lazy butt, too.

By the way, the judge imputed minimum wage on my ex. Since he was perfectly capable of working and just refusing to do so, the judge didn't let him get away with not paying child support. He told him "Job or no job, you're responsible for your child. You either get a job, find another way to get the money for child support, or go to jail."

Answer 5

It sounds like he is trying to keep you from being happy. He has a big problem. It might help to go to marriage counseling.

You have every right to be angry at him. He should not have quit his job without having another one to go to. He needs to get another job and soon, but I don't know if there is anything you can do to motivate him.

Answer 6

you cant make him go and get a job, as you can see. this crap that your nagging him, well i would do more than nag him. so, what if he was unhappy with his job! alot of people are not happy with their jobs but they know that they have to do it in order to survive.i think i would tell him this, that your a family and families work together and if he is not going to look for work then it is obvious that he does not want to part of this family, so he needs to find someplace else to live.if he is not willing to move out, then take your kids and go. you can do it for Christ sake your doing it now right!and he says you could have held off on doing your business well he could have held out leaving his job.

Answer 7

Sometimes a man feels emasculated if his woman makes a decent living on her own, some guys feel they are supposed to be the hero, the breadwinner, the one you NEED. Maybe he feels you dont need him anymore and it depresses him? This isnt an excuse to be a bum, but try asking him if he feels un-needed? I would personally give him 30 days to get motivated or toss him out, but I dont know you or your husband so I can't make a good judgement call for you.

Answer 8

The man is a selfish deadbeat. I would tell him he has a responsibility to contribute to the family income and if he doesn't he can be a bum on his own. If you let him get away with it, he will let you work for you both. What do you need him for at the moment anyway? Tell him the YMCA has cheap rooms. STAND STRONG ! God love you honey.

Answer 9

Married 15 yrs and have no job. Wife is happy....I do the laundry, dishes and every other household chore and tend to our children. She has a great career and we are all very happy. The key.........all of this was planned 15 years ago before we got married!

Answer 10

i think he is jealous of your success and even if you were making enough for the family he still has a responsibility to contribute to your household whether he helps take care of the kids or house or financally....maybe he is depressed and should see a doctor...if nothing is medically wrong put your foot down say either get back to work or get out.....as demotivateing him tell him to get alife.....