is my girlfriend selfish?

Question

i've been seeing my g/f for about a year and a half....i work 12 hours a day from 6 until 6 at night every 4 days and when i come home ( we both stay at her parents house which is ok ) all she does is watch all the soaps on tv, drama etc till about 1030 sometimes. She works from 5:30 pm till 7 mon to fri. Sometimes we have a drink at the weekends but apart from that, thats all she does. We had a row earlier today while i'm at work on the phone because i went to sleep last night at 10:30 because i'm fed up with doing the same thing all the time every night. When i make a suggestion, she says no because there is good things on the tv. Its been like this for ages and she is not willing to compromise....do you think i should finish it

I'm 22 and she is 18

sometimes when i come home from work, she wants to sit down stairs with everyone and watch tv and if i feel like sittin upstairs and doing what i want to do ...as i have just finished a 12 hour shift, she gets the hump with me.
She is a gorgeous girl and i love her to bits but i think things are starting to change now

Answer 1

Yes she is selfish and boring!! How have you managed to stay with her for so long?? Get out of the relationship and start living your life and have some fun. If my partner wanted to stay in all the time i would of gone ages ago.

Answer 2

If at the age of 18 someone thinks that the best way to spend an evening is to watch tv, I'd be a bit worried...
I don't think it's a question of selfishness but rather... doesn't she have any other interest in life?
Spending time with her young man, doing things together, getting to know each other better, isn't that more intersting than watching tv?
A possible compromise: every now and then, use your VCR tape recorder to avoid missing that fabolous soap, and go out (anywhere, even an icecream together will do) and live.
Best wishes to both from OrsonZ

Answer 3

If she is not willing to have a bit of fun I dont see the point in staying. You are only 22. Its time to live your life. When your settled down in your own house with kids and bills that is the time you wont be able to leave when it gets a bit boring. You should make the most of your life now. I have been with my partner for 6 years. I am 25 and he is 22. We have a two year old daughter. He works 2 jobs and I have a part time job. We make the most of the time we have together. We have our meals together as a family and chat. We go to the cinema, meals out and a few drinks (when we have the money to spare) If your girlfriend wants little else from her life she is holding you back and is very selfish. and very immature by the sounds of it. Take it from me and my partner, enjoy life and your freedom while you can. Good luck. xx

Answer 4

The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/l4PaM

Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.

Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.

She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!

Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!

Answer 5

Obviously it seems like you and her have different personality types. You seem like you are more satisfied when you are on the go and have a variety of different things to enjoy, while she seems more satisfied to spend her evenings at home following a normal routine. It doesn't mean that either or you are selfish, just that you are different. However, I think that there is a degree of selfishness there as you have given in several times to what she wants and she doesn't appear to give any thought to what makes you happy. If she's not willing to compromise, then things probably aren't going to work out. I mean, its only going to be a matter of time before an outgoing person like yourself gets tired of looking at the tv.
Try explaining to her that you know she enjoys quiet evenings at home checking out her shows, but you need variety and you'd like to make more of the weekends that you spend together. I mean, she has all week long to watch the tv, right?

Answer 6

She sounds just like one of my ex girlfriends. I stayed with her for three years before realising that nothing would change. Her plan was to get comfy in front of the TV and stay there. Mine was to bugger off to another country and try and see the world. So I dumped her and did. I have seen a few countries and picked up a couple of languages since I left and I have to say that there isn't a day that I think I should have stayed with her.....she's probably still watching ER reruns and X files at this very moment.

Answer 7

My partner works 12 hour shifts 4-5 nights a week. I only get to see him from 4.30pm to 6.30pm everyday. But we always make time to go out and do stuff together. Its difficult some times because he's so tired but we always put 1 day a week away just for us, weather its going out for dinner, taking the dogs out for a walk or just going for a coffee.

If your girlfriends not willing to give you one evening a week to go out and have fun then maybe you should end it. You should be enjoying yourself now, not acting like an old retired couple. Try talking to her about it if you dont want to end it and if that doesn't work maybe the TV could accidently break for a few weeks.

Answer 8

18 and all shes interested in is TV? Ultimatum springs to mind. Either she stops acting 75 or you move on. Doesn't she have the confidence to go out, get dressed up etc or is she plain lazy? Whats wrong with going to the cinema, a bar, the park,for a meal, visiting friends? It doesn't sound like she takes your feelings very seriously and has become complacent, thinking your always going to be there. If she doesn't want to do stuff,go out and meet your friends instead, she'll soon realise shes making a mistake.

Answer 9

That sounds all too familiar too me, i know exactly how you feel (had a simaller kind of relationship)! I'd advise doing your best to discuss these problems, trying your hardest to fix this relationship, then if it turns out that she doesnt want to put the effort in too you know you should move on. I understand thats a hard thing to do, but sometimes its easier to stay with someone than get rid, even if you aren't getting on! I found out the hard way (and the long way) by sticking it out, but i feel better for not having the hassle anymore!

Answer 10

Kind of seems as though you have found a place to stay for free. Since her work schedule is until 7, you should be at Mommy and Daddy's place before she gets there. Surprise her and take her out. Or, get her another box of bon-bons so she get sit her growing butt down in front of the tv and try to live life vicariously.