I'm a 32 year old Asian woman living in hell due to my physical appearance. How can I find happiness and inner peace? Are you happy? What makes you happy? What do you think is the key to happiness and success in life?
2006-10-22 02:12:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Happiness isn't something you can chase and catch: it sneaks up on you when you're busy doing things that are interesting and worthwhile.
Of course, we don't know what's wrong with your appearance, but if it can be altered, you might want to see about doing that; my 23-year-old stepdaughter will finally get the massive dental work and braces that her own mother wouldn't give her. In two years she'll finally have a normal smile. Making yourself look normal is NOT self-indulgence. Sometimes it's necessary.
Since you're Asian, are you also Buddhist? Extra time in meditation and study could help you find an inner balance that will make your appearance less important to you and to others.
Spend your time doing things that interest you with people of the same interests. Deep in conversations about archaeology, or hothouse orchids, or bull terriers with people who are more concerned with your knowledge and curiosity and opinions that with your looks, you will find your self-loathing slipping away and being replaced by contentment and pleasure. Tutoring troubled children or teaching English as a Second Language, you will be appreciated for your abilities and your kindness. That appreciation will feed and water your inner satisfaction.
And remember, a great deal of how other perceive us is based on how we perceive ourselves. If you can find that balance and radiate it outward, few people will notice that your looks are different. They'll be too busy feeling the positive vibes.
2006-10-22 02:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by dognhorsemom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happiness and inner peace does not come from physical appearance; rather, it comes from the things we accomplish. One thing that always makes me happy is excercise. Whether it's a bike ride, roller blading, skating, skiing, or even a simple walk. Some days, I need a little more, so I buy myself a little reward, like perhaps a new watch. I'm getting quite a collection going now! It's the stupid, silly things in life that one can derrive the greatest pleasure from. Give it a shot; buy yourself a new watch, start a collection, and go out for a bike ride.
2006-10-22 02:43:50 · answer #2 · answered by digitalquirk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is very sad...I am sorry for you that you are experiencing that.
I am not usually happy either, and it has nothing to do with looks at all, or the interest of guys....but more just never really feeling satisfied with my life & always searchingfor that one true thing (not talking about love, talking about that feeling of fulfillment). It sucks...I've lived in all of the GREATEST places and still havn't found a place that really feels like home yet. Perhaps what I am really searching for is missing in me, and thus will never be found by constantly moving on. I enjoy my life but wish I knew what it was that I am searching for...or could just be satisfied in my current experience & love what I have goin' on NOW instead of always planning my next step. Not sure where you live but, here in Hawaii Asian culture is so strong and all are celebrated for thier individuality. I hope you can get past the appearences thing and really be able to enjoy your life, because it's the only one you've got. Take care of yourself ~aloha
2006-10-22 02:24:16 · answer #3 · answered by MonsterMash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the key is creating your own happiness, being with people who love you and who support you, and taking time to enjoy whatever you like to do to relax. I also find that keeping busy makes me feel better because then I don't have time to think about how sad I am.
However if you are truly living in hell...do see a doctor, because many meds can help.
2006-10-22 02:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by mystery_lk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think is the key to happiness and success in life?
Why do you have to have both, would be happy make you happy or being a success in life make you happy. If you could win all the battles would that make you happy, not me happy state of mind is when I'm free to do and live as I please, with out causing harm.
2006-10-22 02:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by man of ape 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you won't believe me, but your physical appearance is not the cause of how you feel, its just a symptom thereof. You must start believing in yourself, loving yourself, be proud of who you are. You are an unique human-being and its your duty to make the most of it. There's a saying: "You are what you believe" and that's very true. If you have peace with yourself, it will show in your attitude and people will react accordingly. Just try it en see how it goes. Good luck!
2006-10-22 08:08:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one, stop basing your self-worth on other people's opinions of you. Inner peace starts there.
Do something creative that takes your appearance out of the limelight. Like, become an illustrator or a writer. People will appreciate you for your talents and inner self that way. There's a big ego boost.
2006-10-22 02:31:08 · answer #7 · answered by meilin h 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that one has to keep in mind that even at the lowest points in our life, there are people that are living through worse situations than our own. Try teaching yourself something new each month. Even if it is something you would never have done before. This month I taught myself how to knit. I'm proud of what I've learned, and I'm excited to finish my first project. Every new day provides you with the ability to enhance yourself. Learn who you are and do not limit yourself.
2006-10-22 04:40:33 · answer #8 · answered by Lilyothvalli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey if u feel urself in problem due to ur physical appearance ..u r mistaking n allowing others to
tease u openly..n also distroying what u' ve got by nature.
u must try to get close to ur hobbies that make u feel special about urself,
things that are just urs n no one else's.
u must not forget "be driven by urself or someone else will drive u"
n don't let others do this to u.
u r unique....also i'm average looking..having problem in teeth , bad smile
slim body physique..but even then i find lots of peace while i write poetry, with my friends,
enjoying nature......
n committ it to memory " u r unique n special n this world could never be a good creation
if GOD hadn't sent u.."
n try to divert ur minds.u r having ehole life to be close to u, to be whta u want top be,
evaluate urself .don't try someone else's measuring metres upon.......because u know what u are..
u can ask again if not satisfied yet..
2006-10-22 02:27:38 · answer #9 · answered by neha 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing this to yourself, no one else. You need to look outside of yourself, and look at other's who are in just as much pain as you, or worse, and help them feel good. You lack confidence. A person who looks at you and dislikes you for what you look like, is shallow, and insecure themselves, besides being stupid. The person you are on the inside is what counts. Show the part of yourself that loves, and is caring and giving to others. You might spend some time looking at children who have nothing, or are disformed, poor, starving, and see for yourself that you arent as bad off as some.
Do you want to be accepted by people who only care for other's because they look "good"? I wouldnt. Those kinds of people arent very good friends, are they?
Try meditation, and perhaps a church. Get involved with your community helping others. You can donate your time at a shelter to help the needy, and you will feel proud of yourself, as you should, because you have given a gift of your time for someone else in pain who needed your help. You are you, and there is nothing ugly, or wrong with that. Take Care
2006-10-22 02:34:51 · answer #10 · answered by xenypoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋