We've been together for almost 6 yrs. The first 2 were good, then things started happening. He started to bring more of his clothes into my apt. I couldn't keep all the stuff because I wasn't going to push my sons clothes out of his room for my BF clothes. etc. I started peri-memopause, so I guess I got a bit crabby. I found out my BF went to a strip club, and started calling one of the dancers multiple times/day for approx. 1 yr. He said she was like a therapist to him, he need someone to talk to. So was that my fault?? He became controlling, wanting to know where I was all the time, lots of ?? all the time. Jealous of my x-husband. My bf took/stole my weddine ring from my x-(marriage). Said it was for assurance reasons. He traced my apt. key for whatever reasons. Anyway, every time I try to end it, I start thinking about all the good and want him back. He's always wonderful and it feels right, but I'm scared to commit to him. Will he really change certain things?
2006-10-22 01:50:14 · 16 answers · asked by jeep 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Please..dont do it. They never ever change even though they say they will. And you can't change anyone. Especially if you have a son, you don't want him to see his mom for the most part sad all the time and sometimes happy. Because what does that tell him for future relationships of his own someday. Kids learn what they see. We are their rolemodels. The stripclub thing? And calling her..are you crazy...please rethink it even just with that instance! He needs a therapist and seeks out a stripper?? You deserve more than that..and your son does too. Someone special will come along for you believe me. Just be patient. You don't need jealousy either.. It won't get any better. Please reconsider.
2006-10-22 01:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! In my opinion, judging from the of amount time you've been together - 6 years....Did he change after 4 years? It doesn' t sound like it to me. I don't think he's going to change. Also, with that sudden change in behavior - jealous, immauture crap...sounds like he has a little guillt on his conscious about something he has done. I mean why trip out all of a sudden. That is unless you gave him a reason to do so? If not, then he's the one with the problem. Talking to a stripper as a therapist HA! whatever girl don't believe him. AND don't let him string you along and treat you like a yo-yo. Be strong and do what you have to do! NOW on the flip side you can forgive him for whatver he has done in the past, start fresh and commit to him. Hope this helps some! Good Luck
2006-10-22 08:57:57 · answer #2 · answered by A Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds shady. I don't think that he's trustworthy and don't see how you can have a good relationship with someone that is dishonest.
A couple of points to ponder:
1- taking somebody else's wedding ring without their permission is called THEFT. I don't care what BS reason he has. The ring is yours and belongs with you. Tell him you want to see it, just for fun. I'm not sure that you won't have to go to the local pawnshop to see it.
2-Your bf downplayed the true nature of his relationship with the stripper. A stripper's job is to extract as much money as possible from a man in any way possible. She won't have spent time with him for nothing.Given his sudden possesiveness I think that the therapy he received was of a sexual nature and he probably used your ring to pay for it.
I might be wrong but I think that this guy is no good. I think that you should find yourself another man.
2006-10-22 09:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get rid of this guy. When guys start getting all jealous for no reason (okay women do this, too) and they're being all controlling....they are guilty of something. Every relationship have good times in them, but you need to focus on the whole relationship to determine the outcome. IF you want a man who is controlling, jealous, who steals from you, and tracing your apt. key....this is not a relationship to be had again.... good luck
2006-10-22 08:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pls think again.. someone who stole or took your precous things is someone who is self centred and selfish. He might love you or might not. This is a threat in the relationship. Moreover, you have son. Slowly leave him. You sure can make it.Its all excuse that he went to strip club.. as a good BF , he should know whats your needs are , but not giving you stress. I realy pity you. BUT pls try leave him as I have a feeling that he try to cheat you. And I believe that he might pawn the ring he took... well just a guess
2006-10-22 08:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by clc_cyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't going to change anything. He's going to go on being a controlling abusive thieving bastard. He will keep being that way so long as you keep letting him. You contradict yourself. He doesn't sound so all that wonderful or very good. He sounds pretty rotten. Sucking the life out of you! How can this "feel right"?You have good reason to fear commitment. Your life could do nothing but improve by getting rid of this leach. You need to wake up-pronto!
2006-10-22 12:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not crazy, you are just a little mixed-up and in love. that's a heady combo.
just remember- you are maybe trying to make up for the fact that you THINK you were crappy at him because of your menopausal symptoms, so you are trying to make it up to him.
well, i don't seem to get a positive feeling about ur boyfrnd from your letter. it seems you are trying to live in the past that u had shared with youer boyfriend, but it just may be time to move on. if you are feeling uncomfortable with his possesive nature, you maybe need to sit down for a talk. if he bails out, he's not ready for a mature relationship.
in the end, it's obviously you call, because all answerers are just third-persons, and only you can really judge your feelings and feel your woman's intuition.
2006-10-22 08:59:55 · answer #7 · answered by thehelper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys can get like that sometimes! You need to weigh out his pro's and con's. If there is more good in the relationship than bad, then it's worth fighting for. After all this time, you guys are probably tight enough to work through it.
2006-10-22 08:54:19 · answer #8 · answered by bezsenný 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Am I crazy to give my BF another chance??
A: Oh yeah! It's rubber room time if you continue.
Remember, insanity is doing the same thing again and again expecting different results.
Time for you to do something different.... move on!
2006-10-22 08:54:17 · answer #9 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do yourself a favour and stop making excuses for this bloke --- he's using you and always has the minute he got a foot in the door --- dump him quick smart --- he will never change ; and by the way you owe it to your kids !!! to show him the door --- if you are worrying about your own needs in life ; that's understandable ; but clean the blackboard ' there is truly someone for everyone --- don't despair ! good luck .
2006-10-22 08:59:01 · answer #10 · answered by bill g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋