i have a 5 month old son who i love to bits. the problem is his dad. he has only seen him once and that was 3 months ago and he doesn't pay any money. i have given him many oppotunities to have contact with his son but he hasn't taken me up on it so i told him to forget he existed. to cut a long story short, if he decided he wanted contact with him, would i be wrong to say no?
2006-10-21 22:46:44 · 41 answers · asked by emma1to10 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My 13 year old son has never seen his father. It just sorta happened, what can I say. He knows of course and I have never pursued him for anything. Just last week I found out that a woman that works at a store I go to knows his father. I asked my son if he would like for me to see if they could meet. Dylan said, NO. So, no big deal to me. Your son is 3 months old. Don't make that decision until it comes up, if it comes up. I would never let him take your son without you being there.
2006-10-21 23:11:22 · answer #1 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, document all conversations that go on between you and the child's father that have to do with your son. Talk to DHS about what to do. Your child deserves his father but you can't force him to want to take part in his sons life. At this point, with no legal action taken place, you don't have the right to tell him no. You have to be the big person and do everything the right way because you don't want anything coming back on you to where he could try to get custody of the child. Send him pictures of the baby and his family pictures. And remember just because his dad may not want to see him it doesn't mean that his dads side of the family doesn't want to see him. Keep the lines open and do everything the legal way to be safe. You have to think about your son, not the way you feel because its not about you anymore. Your son is your life, everything will always be for his best interest. As for the money situation, contact DHS because your son definitely deserves financial support. States are trying hard to crack down on people who don't pay child support. If you can't afford a lawyer there is legal aid. Also, just because his dad might not want to see him it doesn't mean your son cant have a father. A father is someone who takes care of you and is there for you. It doesn't have to be the person that created you. Just find you a good man who loves your baby and your son will know who his father is.
2006-10-21 23:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by BJTD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let him have one last chance this will make it easier when your son is older to explain ( I have been in this situation), If he stops contact or does not turn up when arranged then only then cut him of from you son. You son is young so this is easier if the father starts to mess around. You could see a solicitor and get this set out properly so you all know where you stand. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this, Its your life.
2006-10-21 22:51:37 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emotionally and morally no legally you may not have a choice. I am in the same situation with my son he is 8 now his father saw him once when he was three months old and once when he was 7 by law he is required to pay maintaince (australia) I have always kept the doors of communication open for him and his family.. My son has a step dad that dotes on him and he dosn't miss his natural father ( we call him the sperm donar)
Move on and make your sons life the most enjoyable possible I am sure you will find someone in you life to enjoy you and your son and for them to love your son like their own.
Good luck with it
2006-10-21 23:04:07 · answer #4 · answered by ozi_nut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that you are wrong to say no. I mean if he really wanted to see his son then he could be a man and be there for him as a father. Men like him give the rest of us a bad name. If nothing else I think you have a good chance to take him to court for child support without privlages. make sure you keep a good record of all paper work concerning your son and the dead beat dad.
2006-10-21 22:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by krazeetingtong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously think about going to court on this. There are laws for child support,and he is responsible to provide some kind of support for your son. It doesn't sound like your son;s father cares one way or the other,so no,I don't think it would be wrong for you to say no to seeing his son. The person I feel sorry for ,is your son,as he will pay for all of this in the long run. Good luck!
2006-10-22 01:05:31 · answer #6 · answered by roses are red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, i personally think you would be wrong to stop the father from seeing his son. When that child is older and starts asking questions, about his father and why he did not come around to see him, then i hope you are prepared to have the answers for your son.
Have you asked the father why he wants no contact with his son?
Just be patient, it's a well known, fact that men take longer to 'grow up'and accept responsibilities,(soz not all men).
Give him a bit more time, and i am sure he will come around.
2006-10-22 00:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by classychick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be in a legal sense, not that I am taking the guys side here, you also need to consider your child's future and you can get financial support from him. Take him to court if you want to resolve financial support and you can schedule visits for the father, after that if he decides to not show up, that's his loss, but it is his kid.... He has the right to take you to court for access, but it sounds like he may not go that route.
If you could contact your local childrens aid or childrens welfare and make note of your concern and what advice they might have. (They will not force you to do anything) however you can make a note in their files that the father isn't present and that you are doing what is in the child's best interest. This can be used as reference if anything does happen in a legal sense.
If you see your ex, give him a middle finger salute for me too!
2006-10-21 23:05:51 · answer #8 · answered by Keanu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot afford to see a lawyer go to legal advisory service in your local area and ask them to help you. They will arrange a lawyer to get child support and other benefits for you. It is wise to contact some one who know more about child supports.
Your child's dad will come around when he knows he is been contacted by the lawyer. He will say things to smooth up. Do not fall for it. Stay firm with your decision and put him in his place.
Let him see his child through social workers. Never trust him alone. Sound like he is not a good father figure. May be not yet. He need to grow up and take some responsibilities.
2006-10-21 23:02:59 · answer #9 · answered by shiningstar2808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have given him the opportunity to be a part of your sons life if he should feel that he does not want to be then that is his choice. Don't do anything that you will regret when your son is older and want to know where his dad is. You should how ever take the farther to court and get him to pay maintenance.
2006-10-21 22:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by liongirl_40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋