I have tried courses, but can,t stick to them. I feel like withdrawing from life and staying at home. I am 47 I don,t have a partner. I feel invisible to men. My life is food shopping,cleaning,cooking and buying clothes I think I will need when my life changes.
2006-10-21 22:31:25 · 33 answers · asked by starlight 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am a great mother. My kids come first always. They are 14 and 11. They need me less now. I am aware they need me less now. I realise I don,t have a life.
2006-10-21 22:49:16 · update #1
thank you all for your replies
2006-10-21 22:58:43 · update #2
you need to find friends.... not internet friends but real friends... Friends are important they'll help you.... Your family?... stay close to them....
2006-10-21 22:34:57 · answer #1 · answered by klipnov 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We have a lot in common. I am 51 and a single mom. I accepted many years ago that I will most likely be alone for the rest of my life. Once I accepted that than I began to heal and move forward. It is easier to be alone and I am really very content. If I happened to meet a nice man well maybe, but I am not looking or expecting. I worked full time for 28 years and I am not doing that anymore. Now I volunteer at my son's school and I work occasionally through temp agency just to get me out of the house and some extra money. Both of those would really be good for you too. Stop thinking about men, it will only depress you. Good luck.
2006-10-21 23:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried doctors something may be more up for a start and its worth knowing. Are there any groups near you for single mothers you may be able to meet people there. If courses aren't working keep trying different ones , maybe you could try an acting course or something similar to build u confidence. This confidence could help with finding a partner. Make sure you have some time to yourself in the day to sit and relax or go for a walk Think about what you enjoyed when you were younger and try to reintroduce these into your life ( if you want to ). Maybe you could do volunteer work to get you in a working mood get you out and kicking.
Sorry if i haven't been any help i hope things work out for you
2006-10-21 22:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by mintycakeyfroggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same.Only difference is I had a job. Since your children are grown up you have time for yourself. If you are unable to keep up with your studies never mind. Try to get a simple job. Any thing to keep you occupied for few hours. In a super market or Conner shop. Any where out side your home.
That give you energy to get up and do something.
Buy good make up and cloths that make you look good. Take your children out and talk to them more than sit in front of the TV. Spend more quility time with your kids. visit library and gym invite good friends. If any of your friends ask you out go. You may find new friends.
Some time life can be bordom. We decide what our mind and body want. We sulk and withdraw. Take a good look at yourself and do what is best for you. As long as your kids are safe and well, you can enjoy your life. Don't give up. There are some who still looking for a partner. Maybe you are the one they are waiting to meet. Good luck
2006-10-21 23:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by shiningstar2808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice: Take a few days off to do something for yourself. You definitely deserve a break and you need it. It doesn't matter weather you have job or are a fulltime mum, you need a break.
I don't know how your finances are but not everything costs a lot of money and maybe you'll have to save n the groceries for a while to be able to afford this but you need it and deserve it.
Get the few days off
Get a makeover.. have your hair done, eyebrows, waxing... the full works
Buy yourself something nice to wear
Go to a coffee shop, to the mall or anywhere to show off.
Someone mentioned the gym, I think that might be a good idea to meet people. If you go there in the morning, you can suggest after a few days that some of the other regulars go out to lunch together.
I don't know where you live,I know it's harder to get to know people in some places than other. If no one comes up to you, maybe you need to take the first step.
2006-10-21 23:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by IC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
How about attending single parent groups, gives you the chance of meeting other single parents in your area and possibly making new friends, also it will get you out a bit.
I am a single mum too and they are honestly a great way of meeting people. Also i have recently joined a on line dating agency as it is just a introduction tool but this will give you the chance to meeting people, I have met my lovely boyfriend and also i have made some good friends that live in the same area too.
Also get involved in something like some charity work 1 hour a day at your local hospital. Another way of meeting people and will also be good for you as you feel that you are doing something that is good.
I wish you well and good luck
2006-10-21 23:18:07 · answer #6 · answered by blondegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pretty much just described my girlfriends life except im in it, we're finding things very difficult at the moment but the only thing keeping us going is the thought that it wont always be like this and if we get through the monotony of life as it is now that the grass will be greener on the other side, if for a moment we thought this is the way life will be for always we'd probably both suffer with depression. I suppose what I'm saying is stick with it there's always something around the corner.
2006-10-21 22:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by Jimmy H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are almost the same age and we almost sound the same.Sounds like you need to find yourself.Start some exercise like walking or something simple.Do you go to church?If your family is too far away the people in church
are usually a great alternative.All you need to do is reach out someone wil be
there.Your kids need you just not in the same way.My kids are 15 and 17 and
they are boys.My world has always revolved around my family and always will
Doesn't matter how old they are they will always love and need you.Try to get
involved in something and be positive.That is what your kids want to see.Don't
make them feel guilty for growing up and being individuals,be happy and strong.Sounds like you are a strong person,you've come this far.
2006-10-22 02:50:55 · answer #8 · answered by venture1517 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids will always need you, especially during the times you don't think they do. When they grow up they will realize how much they needed you in their teen years. Sounds like you are depressed. Talk to a doctor bc depression is a serious disease. Your life wont change unless you make it. First step is talk to a doctor then get a job. you are more likely to gain friends when you are out in the workforce with people. Your life doesnt revolve around men. You have to learn how to be a strong woman and you will realize that.
2006-10-21 23:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by BJTD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are afraid to go for counseling. Don't be. A good therapist will help you to change your life. Ask yourself this, "Do I want to still be like this in 10 years?" Yes, it's hard work, but no one is going to do it for you. Ask your doctor for a referral or look in the yellow pages under mental health. You have so much to contribute to yourself and the world. Now take that first step and pick up the phone and dial it! Don't put it off. If you don't like the therapist you can always find another one that you click with. Think about how yout children see you from their eyes. What kind of legacy do you want to leave for them, a happy Mom or a sad Mom? Like I said , it won't be easy but it will be very worthwhile and you will wish that you had gone for therapy sooner. Please digest these words
and you have my very best wishes!
2006-10-21 22:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by serendipity 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do u need a partner? You need to sort yourself first for the sake of the kids, they are the most important things here! As long as your a mother you always have a purpose in life! I would try and find a social event going on in your area and try and get involved! Why not inrole at on a adult college course
I am starting my degree next year and i wasnt working when i went to college and the college lets you enrol for free! I have met so many new friends and life is great! Got a new job and a place at uni!!
Go to your local college and enquire, its so worth it trust me!!
2006-10-21 22:37:52 · answer #11 · answered by kirsty m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋