Recently I have noticed that I seem to have lost my sexual appetite. I have been in a relationship for nearly three years and is by far the longest I have been with one woman. Before her, as bad as this sounds i was with a lot of women. I love her with all my heart but i just dont feel like having sex. She always wants to have sex. And it drives me nuts. I recently had a surgery as well, and even if it doesnt hurt at that time sometimes i use the excuse that it does to get out of having sex. When we do have sex I make sure that she gets her pleasure as quick as I can then I stop. Wether I have finished or not. What can I do?? What is wrong with me??
2006-10-21 22:14:46 · 11 answers · asked by Chris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok sorry bout the spelling i'm not the best at it i am sure you can tell
As far as the fag that tells me to come out of the closet, I dont have that issue I am still attracted to women, not men. I just dont feel like having sex
2006-10-21 22:25:50 · update #1
Oh yeah we have been to adult bookstores, i have bought her toys.. I have asked her what her fantasies are to see if we could spice things up and make it more interesting.. As far as her fantacies.. she always says I dont know but she plays with her toys every now and again
2006-10-21 22:28:09 · update #2
ok the surgery i had was two testiclular cysts being removed and tested for the c word. I have been on pain meds Hydrocodone for oh i'd say almost a year now but this started before that.
2006-10-21 22:30:53 · update #3
you may feel that your gf uses you for sex and that makes you feel used .... or that sex is there on a plate wiv no challnge to youit puts you .... of after allwe all know we likewhen girlspaly hard to get. you may need to think of different ways to have sex add a littel spice ... talk througth your problems wiv someone
close to you
2006-10-21 22:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have only done more to spark her arousal....by buying toys and magazines. She's not the one with the sex drive problem. What have you done for you? Do you love this woman? Or are you not sure? If it's love...try making love to her and not just "having sex." I know that sounds stupid, but it may actually spark your interest more. You may start to think of the act as more than a physical ask. It may start to be emotionally fulfilling to you. Or try doing romantic things other than sex to show your affection. Because if you love her, and she starts to think the problem is her, than she might freak out if you don't start doing something else to show her how much you care. Get romantic! Be creative! This has nothing to do with sex.
If you are NOT in love with her, or are unsure, this may be a time to start thinking about the underlying issue of why you are not "in the mood" anymore. Maybe the relationship is fizzling out. She may sense your lack of enthusiasm to have sex and she fears losing you. So she may be trying to over compensate for it by trying to be sexy and crave sex often...because that what she thinks you want. She may be trying to be that little sex kitten that us Ladies believe all guys want in a relationship....in order to try and spark your libido.
2006-10-21 23:23:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mommyof1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your asexuallity can be a medical problem that needs to be corrected. If you love her get help now, immediately. She should not have to play with her sex toys because of your asexuallity.
In the meantime, let her even have an affair, but let her know that she must only view this as temporary. What you are doing is unfair to her. Make it a three-some. She might reject this as she might think it is cheating. In that case, it is up tp you to seek help from a doctor.
2006-10-21 23:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by persnicady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you had a surgery recently definately can be a factor. Are you taking any medications? what type of surgery it was? many things...It is best to consult your physician about this. It could be something very simple or it may not, but you will never know unless you ask.
2006-10-21 22:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by Greg M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By "boaring" do you mean you have been introducing pigs to the bedroom? ...probably not a good idea.
Seriously, I would try going on a weekend trip with just the boys to get some perspective. Camping is always a good idea. After a few days away, you may find you miss it.
2006-10-21 22:22:31 · answer #5 · answered by Uncle Meat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be a number of things maybe you should be honest and tell her so that both you can enjoy it try going to an adult store there is alot of helpful things there .Keep in mine its not the quantity but the quality make her realize that and you both will be in the same page.
2006-10-21 22:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by dodgerchik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may seem weird but guys can, not want sex like all time . this girl your with right now seems to have a bigger sexual appetite than you. just explain to her your situation that you dont want it as often as she does.you have to be into it just as much as you do . but if you make her wait for it insteads of doing it whenever she wants then it might be more pleasurable for the both of you.
2006-10-21 22:20:31 · answer #7 · answered by tina2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wander if maybe you should not to a couselor about this problem...if you love her and you do not want to break up with her then you need to find out why you are feeling this way...sometimes things can get bothering a person and that might do it....try to do things differently and make a romantic setting and see if that helps....but depression sometimes makes people lose their sexual appetite...it would not hurt just to ask your doctor about it....i think it would be the best thing for you to do...
2006-10-21 22:20:10 · answer #8 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time for you to come out of the closet with your best dress on.
2006-10-21 22:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by IMA SUCK@SS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if your problem is love, rather than sex. Are you sure you aren't falling out of love with her?
2006-10-21 23:32:49 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋