Before you start thinking how terrible I am, it was four years before they even got together, and they didn't even know each other back then.
Let me explain the guy in question is a really good mate of mine and four years ago we had a drunken one night stand. We took one look at each other in the morning and realised it was a big mistake. We don't fancy each other and if we hadn't both been so smashed I doubt it would ever have happened. But try telling that to his new girlfriend! As soon as we met I knew straight away she had a problem with me but she treated all the girls in our group the same. One night there was loads of us playing truth and dare and it came out about us sleeping together. Well she went ballistic and now wants me out of the group. How can i make things better? I don't wanna lose my mates!!!!
2006-10-21 21:54:29 · 29 answers · asked by littlebabygem 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She sounds very immature! If nothing has happened since then between you and her boyfriend then she has nothing to worry about! Have you tried telling her that? If they are going to be together for a while she's just gonna have to lump it!!!
2006-10-21 22:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by cheekimadam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why she should go ballistic on you if it was 4 years ago, you shouldn't have to make things right because you haven't done anything she is blowing things all out proportion and just sounds like a silly little girl. Does she think her boyfriend was a virgin when they met?
All you can do is explain to her it was 4 years ago and it didn't mean anything but even if it did mean anything the point is he is with her now and if you two wanted to be together you would be but your not so tell her to stop stressing and chill out because it is in the past and you can't change that but I see why you would have to change it anyway, and if your friends are true friends they won't have you out of the group as you came first before her and if anyone should be out it should be her.
All the best and remember you are not in the wrong
2006-10-22 05:32:14 · answer #2 · answered by clairefleck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe her fella needs to talk to her. She's obviously the jealous and possessive type. You can't be held at fault for something that happened before they even got together! Some women (and men!) would sometimes behave in such a way, that when they meet their partner's friends they tend to put out their stall and mark their territory around their partner, just to let them know that they are the dominant male/female in that person's life. What she's doing isn't at all plesant, but if this guy is a true mate of yours, he'd be doing his best to try and calm this girl down and get her to accept the fact that it was in the past. Like you said, you both realised right away that it was a mistake, so there's no chance of it ever happening in the future. Try not to fret over this, it will work out if he's as good a friend as you say he is. Good luck hun
2006-10-22 05:20:00 · answer #3 · answered by slinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no doubt you are rather young, but there's being truthful and there's being silly..... why bother to mention it whether the game was truth or dare or not. If your mates will not be your mates just cos one girl wants you out of the group, then they are not very good mates, are they? Stand your ground, you havent done anything wrong. The past is the past.
2006-10-22 13:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his girlfriend, tell her it happen in the past and it was a big mistake and meant nothing to you our her boyfriend. Explain to her that you and the guy are just friends and that's all it will ever be. If she doesn't except this then that's her fault, if your friends kick you out of the group then there not really your friends in the first place. Good Luck , hope everything works out for you.
2006-10-22 06:30:52 · answer #5 · answered by Sihanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you'll let her sleep with your boyfriend to make up for it!
Seriously, if she expected her boyfriend to be a virgin, or if she can't understand that she wasn't even on the scene when it happened, I would ignore her for a while. I'm sure your other friends wouldn't see this as a problem - are you supposed to have a crystal ball that can see four years into the future or something? She suffering from jealousy, and can't see that it's her personal problem, and nobody elses. Maybe a psychiatrist can help her.
2006-10-22 07:55:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just act regulary. Trying to 'fix' things might make things worse.
Next time, unless it's a necessary or a joyful thing, don't blurt out who is sleeping with who.
And a mistake shouldn't be exposed.
And information should be given in a 'need to know' basis.
Now as for your friends.
They're your friends, you wouldn't lose them.
But for the moment, it might be best to stay very low profile for awhile.
As for your 'boy' friend's girlfriend.
You slept with him, you didn't sleept with him, it doesn't matter. You slept with him just add more thing, but it's not like that it changes a lot.
A note. She already in a worst situation and felt very upset, it's better on not to confront her, attack her, etc
For example, calling her immature, to get over it, to grow up, etc it's NOT a good idea.
She already felt awful, and hearing this thing added more weight to her.
Remember, she's a victim from this situation, it's better that you treat her nicely and comfort her. Be her friend.
Of course, ultimately the responsbility falls on her boyfriend, let him handle her.
2006-10-22 06:48:29 · answer #7 · answered by E A C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This all happened before her? well she has the problem not you, leave her group only if you want to, but is this really going to solve anything, maybe she feels insecure that if you are still part of the group then maybe her boyfriend and you will get together again.
Talk with her, tell her again it was in the past.
She needs to grow up and get over it.
2006-10-22 05:40:26 · answer #8 · answered by Caro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is an insecure wench and will be trouble to you and to any other woman who even looks at her "man". I pity the people in the "group" because she is most likely going to play politics with anyone she dislikes. The group would be wise to view her as the newcomer and tell her to shape up or she is out. After all you were friends with the others in the group before she showed up, that bloody well ought to count for something.
2006-10-22 05:24:06 · answer #9 · answered by mindbender - seeker of truth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mate (the boyfriend) to talk to her about it. See if he can help smooth the rough edges between the two of you. Other than that, I don;t know what to suggest.
Don't feel guilty about it though. It was once and in the past, before she showed up. Your mates shouldn't turf you out for that, not if they already know. If they are good, understanding people then they well also question her irrational response.
2006-10-22 14:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by Knight-wing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get a grip in was in the past!!! Shes immature tell her to get over it, and if she doesn't like it tell her to find a new group why should you leave you have done nothing wrong. If you and her boyfriend can go out together and get up to no naughties then its her problem.. Shes just a jealous cow!! Tell all the girls to ignore her that will hurt her!!
2006-10-22 04:59:01 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋