Someone please tell me how you can love someone to death and hate them at the same time. My husband treats me like he doesn't care what happens to our married and other times he acts like he's afraid to lose me what is going on here.
2006-10-21 20:24:15 · 20 answers · asked by KEY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Insecurity.
2006-10-21 21:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by zoya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whew! Does that ever sound familiar!!! I had to get help from counseling to stop being co-dependent and find enough self-esteem to determine my own path - with or without - my husband. As it turns out (for me), I was smack dab in the middle of an abusive relationship that I never knew about. I had never been hit or anything but my husband would with-hold affection as a means of controlling me to get what he wanted. Or, he would shower me with love for the same reason! It is called emotional manipulation where those in control keep control by keeping you dependent on their reactions. Because sometimes it is good, you want it to be all the time...do you wonder what you could have or should have done different? Do you think your actions have an outcome on his moods and suffer consequences if he doesn't like your choices? If so, you too could be being emotionally abused. A relationship that is healthy leaves each person feeling better about themselves for having been involved with the other. If you are left feeling unimportant (sometimes)- he is selfish and manipulating your feelings and that IS NOT OK. Seek professional guidance to see where he ends and you begin and then you will have to decide if sacrificing WHO you are to get what you want from HIM is worth the price. Love is not supposed to be painful!
2006-10-22 04:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
probably a little of both. He would like to leave, but too spinless to do it. It happens in relationships, the best thing to do is try and communicate and come to a mutual agreement. Otherwise its like an abusive relationship constantly taking away your footing and leaving you feeling unstable. Communication is the key to most things in relationships, sometimes the hard part is getting started and letting the other person understand your feelings witout causing an argument. Unfortunately relationships are rather complex systems which have many different attributes. Try to examine when you are feeling neglected vs when you are feeling loved. If you only feel loved when you hit the point where you are ready to leave or kick him to the curb, I would say make all your preparations to be be a single woman again and make a long term plan to get yourself out of the relationship. Of course you could also try counselling.
2006-10-22 03:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by Satsune 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel the same way....i would do anything for my husband at any time but i know i will not get the same from him...one day he will say im a bother...and he doesnt want it and then the next day act like nothing ever happened and we are newlyweds...im as confused as you are..i sometimes think that he is with me for convience..but then say he loves me....if you ever find out please let me know..good luck
2006-10-22 03:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by Liz M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not possible to love and hate a person at the same time. i think what you have here is a husband who doesnt love you but needs you for other reasons, like keeping his house for him, cooking his food, warming his bed, etc.
2006-10-22 03:33:04 · answer #5 · answered by j6shawie26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love and hatred are both great feelings. Your husband is just confused of getting used to married life!
2006-10-22 06:32:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All men are like it...and rascals...watever u do don put an example of male dominance plsssssssss...this is my request 2 u!!! talk 2 him directly abt this matter instead of being tensed...u try 2 make relations more improved widout insultin or makin urself down!!!! generally all men are coward so he is afraid 2 loooooooose u!!!!!!!!
2006-10-22 03:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by suchetana 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He wants to have someone he can thrash about to make him feel good. You are the right person for that. It's like he doesn't want to lose a punching bag.
2006-10-23 13:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me like its a matter of respect... it looks like he doesn't respect you although he does love you (those are two different things) not to be mean, cuz almost every guy does it, but it could easily be created by a pornography addiction, which basically makes it so men have a lower thought of women because they're used to seeing it the way it is on the movies and what-nah
2006-10-22 03:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by duffusd 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he have a hard time expressing his self and he allow his negative behavior reflect what he is feeling. you need to sit him down and tell him how you are feeling and that its affecting your relationship with him and its beginning to make you question his love. soon before its to late this needs to be corrected before his trust and worthlessness is questioned as well.
2006-10-22 04:33:10 · answer #10 · answered by nazwats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋