My husband was invited for Thanksgiving dinner, and I wasn't?

Question

My husband's father invited my husband for Thanksgiving dinner, and I wasn't invited. What should I say or do?

Answer 1

You shouldn't say anything -- but your husband should. It was incredibly rude to not invite you. Your husband should have told his father as soon as the invitation was extended that he would not attend without you. Since he didn't, he needs to talk to his father and let me know that you two are a social unit. You don't invite one without the other (unless it's to a guys-only poker game). And then he should say, "thanks, but no thanks."

Obviously, there's more to this than you've said and obviously your father-in-law doesn't like you and intended to insult and hurt you. I think you both should stay home.

Answer 2

What? You've got to be kidding.... Is this an ongoing problem between the two of you.? It's kind of mind boggling, and a lot of questions arise. Like, are there kids involved, how long have you been married, where's your husbands mother?
Without any of those answers though, I would say hopefully your husband loves you enough to just spend Thanksgiving with you, and turn his Dads' invitation down. Ya know? I certainly wouldn't get too upset. Sounds like his Dad maybe has some growing up to do, so you're probably not missing much....
Like I said, I surely hope your husband is going to stand by your side and you two have a wonderful Thanksgiving.....
Cheer up...and don't say anything, to his Dad anyway...He doesn't deserve a fight or a cry! ! ! and good luck ! ! ! !

Answer 3

If you are absolutely this was not a mistake on the part of the person sending out invitations, then tell your husband to refuse the invitation -- and he should also let your father-in-law's family know why.

No matter what you have done to them (if anything) nothing warrants be treated like that. And if your husband wanders over there -- even for a slice of pumpkin pie -- I would suggest you seriously think about ending the marriage. With a husband like that, who needs enemies?

Answer 4

I would think that if your father-in-law invited your husband to thanksgiving dinner that he also invited you, seeing as you guys are married and are together. Its probably meant for the both of you instead of just your husband. But then again I'm not sure if you get along with your father-in-law. You should probably talk to your husband about it, or speak with the person who invited him.. Either way, it maybe something you shouldn't fret over. So if it makes you feel better you should probably talk to your husband about it and probably see whats going on.

Answer 5

I think its assumed that you are automatically invited being that you are his wife. Unless it was noted specifically that you were to be uninvited, in which case there is some friction between you and his family. Your husband should proudly bring you to this thanksgiving event...or he should turn down the invite as a statement to the family that you are a part of him and wherever he goes you will be there and visa versa. Really, family disputes can get horribly childish and ugly. Don't let this ruin your own thanksgiving party. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Be very, very sweet. Call dear old Dad-in-law and ask what you can bring to Thanksgiving dinner...pie, veggies, salad or one of each?

If he has the gall to tell you that YOU aren't invited (while baby boy is), then be very, very calm and ask "Why?" Let him explain. There may be a half-way reasonable answer (although I can't think of one off the top of my head).

There are some other ways of heading this crisis off before it becomes a full blown crisis, though. It's still early enough to plan for a family Thanksgiving at YOUR house (or a restaurant of your choice), and invite both sides of the family, and everyone, so no ones feelings are hurt.

Alternatively, you could consider dividing up the day between "togetherness", "my family" and "his family"...maybe let him spend time with his dad to watch the ball game, while you spend time alone (prepping for after T'giving day shopping, napping, etc) or with your friends/family doing "chick" stuff (a chick flick, at home spa fun, etc).

This too shall pass...and then you get to deal with Christmas!

Answer 7

your husband shouldn't even consider going, with the circumstances the way they are-there's obviously some animosity there with your father in law-so just have a nice family dinner at home. Your husband should have the talk with his father about being hospitable-invite all or none!

Answer 8

this is down right rude, are you sure his father said that you were not invited? What has happened in the past, is this a normal thing in his family? Your husband needs to get this straightened out right now. if you are not invited then he should not go either

Answer 9

if your husband goes to Thanksgiving dinner without you, then I suggest you find another husband....If they did not invite you then something must be wrong with you, but if not he better not go without you.....If he does, you better not be home waiting for him to come home or you would be considered a fool......That is your husband you two have Thanksgiving at your home and invite them.......Be with your husband during that time.....you are suppose to.......His family has issues for not inviting you....Thanksgiving is a family thing......

Answer 10

Tell your husband to ask his father if you are invited to make sure it just wasn't an oversight. If his father tells him no, then he should tell his father that he won't be going either. If your husband argues with you about the situation, tell him to go, but he'll find his cloths on the porch when he gets home. Then he can go live with his "daddy".

Answer 11

This is an etiquette problem -- and usually if one spouse is invited to a Holiday Dinner -- no matter how the other feels about their mate -- they SHOULD invite the spouse along too.

Your Husband needs to handle this problem with his father. He needs to ask if you can come along, and if not, then, if both of you have a solid marriage, decline to attend at this time.