Sad & confused I have been with my boyfriends for 2 years now, we love each other and care for each other deeply. We talk about the future together and we want to be together but he has 2 kids from his previous marriage so he is worried sick for them. Since his salary is not that great he fears that he wont make enough money for the family he is leaving behind and for the new family we might start together. I am a little frustrated about this whole situation. And get impatient but I trully love him and not sure what to do.
2006-10-21 19:07:49 · 11 answers · asked by sandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if you say that you really love him, you have to love the fact that he had a broken marrige and two kids. furthermore, you could get a job yourself and try to control spending too much. do not have children of your won yet until you are financially stable.
if you really love him, you will go throught all this for him.
2006-10-21 19:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be hesitant if I were you.
If I was sure I wanted to have children of my own, and the guy I was with was unsure, I think I'd have to move on.
If you stay in the relationship, and are a step-mother to his children, and yet he won't have children with you, then I can see this putting a lot of stress on everyone. You might end up resenting him and his kids.
Have a serious heart to heart talk with him. See if it is truly a money issue or if there is more to it. Such as, is he afraid if he has more children, that he will end up loosing them too. If it is a money issue, then who's to say you or him can't look for a better job so you can support a larger family.
Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best.
2006-10-22 02:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by star22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend has a moral and financial obligation to his children. The moral obligation will last forever and the financial obligation will last until they are at least 18 years old. It speaks well for him that he is worried about his children. He probably wonders if he is being fair to you.
If you love him go forward with the relationship but do so with your eyes wide open. You may well advised to postpone heving your own children until your boyfriend gets more established in life. Maybe he needs to get some training or education that will lead to a better paying job.
2006-10-22 02:18:08 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money isn't everything. But he will have to support his children and if you have children,he needs to support them too. Maybe you can work and pick up the slack for him if you truly love him.If you both love each other,where there is a will there is a way. somehow when you have children,you find a way because they rely on you. You can reassure him that you will behind him and know that his kids are a priority.Good luck.
2006-10-22 02:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by Shortydeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're both Serious-then there is NO reason why this new relationship might work!
You both have to be Rock-solid in your own rights and work unceasingly together to make this New Life work!!
No Doubts should exist!!
Hope you Both find what You want!!!
2006-10-22 02:10:59 · answer #5 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. love won't pay the bills or any of that.. but if you do love eachother enough, no matter how hard it is on you guys, you can work through it together. If you believe you can do that, then it can work out. If not, then.. no.
2006-10-22 02:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by Jilljill:) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're willing to be the main financial support and love his kids as your own (putting their welfare above and beyond your own and any grievances you have with his ex) then there's no problem. Are you mature and independent enough to handle this?
2006-10-22 02:17:59 · answer #7 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be his way out or maybe he is worried all the financial burden will be on him. If you are willing to help out with bills and expenses and he knows that and still refuses. I would cut your losses and start looking for someone new
2006-10-22 02:11:14 · answer #8 · answered by TLC 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, money is not everything but it makes things much easier when you have more. Ask yourself, are you going to be comfortable with the situation once you are married with him? if yes, then go with your heart and if not, then your security is much more important to you. Sometimes it best to use your mind over heart.
2006-10-22 02:13:22 · answer #9 · answered by aloha76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God knows the best answer. Pray to God.
2006-10-22 02:14:06 · answer #10 · answered by Abhijit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋