still in kind of a "shock"state of mind.it happened so fast..he had a massive heartattack,and it happened right in front of my son,when they were out mowing this summer.I wasn't there,but my child called me on my cell.This man was our "rock',he meant the world to us.Now he's gone,and we miss him so much.wish there was some way to bring him back home to us ,and things be "normal"again.I have questioned my faith in GOD,so many times over this.how can he bring someone so wonderful into our lives,for 5 short years,then take him away from us like that,and why do bad things happen to good people.I've lost 30 pounds since that day,and still cry my eyes out alot,especially at night,when i'm laying in bed,where we use to snuggle and sleep,now there's nothing,but his pillows that he slept on,and they are still there,with the same pillow cases and all.am i crazy for being like that?and i feel such an empty space inside.i'm sure he wouldwant us 2 move on,but that's too much 2 swallow.any advice?
2006-10-21 19:00:52 · 23 answers · asked by curious1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
grief us a normal part of this situation, but perhaps moving to another place, even another town is the best way to handle it. you will always be looking at the things you used to do at this place, not moving on. NO ONE enjoys the grief part, but it has nothing to do with faith in God. and bad things, sometimes very bad things happen to good people. His life was cut short according to plan. Try celebrating the life he had rather than the one he can't have here on earth. Your lives have been touched by his presence, however short....be happy for the time you had...good luck to you both.....
2006-10-21 19:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's kind of opened a door that can't really be shut with harsh parenting. The only way you will at least slow her down would be to make her understand that it isn't a good thing to be doing at that age. One thing you must understand though, as a parent, is that as far as I know, a lot of people are doing it at that age now, and there are a lot of pressures. Films and books are often quite a powerful way to get a message into someone. She will just rebel more if you keep telling her she can't do it. What I would recommend is that you take some time to learn more about it yourself, and understand from a teenagers point of view... and then use anything you pick up along the way to try and speak to her about it. If she thinks that you actually do understand her situation, she may act more respectful with you and herself. What I said about films and books... I'm a 21 year old guy, so I cant help on specifics... But I often find people will change their viewpoints after watching/reading something. Its a pretty tough position... but good luck... and I hope you actually get to read this, because I assume it will have been pushed back to page 41 by now.
2016-05-21 21:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for ur loss. Actually I have no words to say to u.If I say that I can understand how u feel it would be completely wrong. U cannot easily forget him n u should not. But as u say that he would lwant u to be happy n move forward u should. No one can make for his loss but u should be brave n have the courage to move on . Further u have the responsbility of ur son who has lost his father. U need to perform dual role n give all ur love n affection n make him a man as loving n caring as ur husband. U should preserve his rememberings and use them as tools to overcome the difficulties n not let them hamper ur path . It would make him sad . For his soul to rest in peace u have to be happy. After all u can do at least this much to make him happy , wherever he is . Be strong n face the situation n don't run from it. The more u try to run away the more u will have difficulty in dealing with the situation . May God bless u n give u strength to overcome this tragic loss.
2006-10-22 00:44:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that it really doesn't help much right now to say that. Please don't ever doubt the Lord, he doesn't "let" these things happen, but try to remember he is always by your side. Death is such a "final" stage of life. The people left behind are left feeling empty, and so sad. This is all so normal. We do go through so many "stages" of loss, and sometimes get held up in a stage. It's OK whatever you feel. As long as you are letting the emotions "out" (crying, writing letters to him-etc.) you will be fine. Why some of us are chosen to go through such grief is beyond me, but their is a reason. I know in the long run it prepares us to be deeper and stronger people in life. My heart goes out to you, but I do know you'll be OK, because you already asked for HELP!
2006-10-21 19:27:10 · answer #4 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too lost my husband when I was young and I had two young children. Although 12 years have passed - I still miss him. I try to look at it this way. I am a better person for having had him in my life. I would rather have had him for a short time than not to have had him at all. I have two wonderful children and memories that I would not trade for a longer marriage with someone else.
I wish you the best. Don't rush into anything. Enjoy your memories and your son and remember that as long you remember your husband he will live forever in your heart.
2006-10-21 19:09:52 · answer #5 · answered by Purgatory 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your loss. You have to go through you time of mourning, that's natural. Think of all the good things he taught you or you learned together. Pretend or maybe it's real but talk to him. Some believe you ghost hangs out for a while. Talking helps you get closure. Don't blame God and be a victim that doesn't benefit you. God is your rock, not man. Keep building on a life of love, because God is Love, Love is your Rock. Love never fails. Live and learn.
2006-10-21 19:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by nomatt3r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My deepest sympathies.....for a moment I thought I knew you but then realized your case is very similar to a friend I lost 6 months ago. He got a heart attack whilst in a flight to Delhi, leaving behind a loving wife and a 13 year old son.
The most practical way to handle grief, is to get yourself too busy to think about it. Keep socializing a lot and avoid those private moments which get you weak. If you do so, you'll also find the nights easier as you'll be too tired to keep awake.
Keeping busy, also helps you acheive excellence in your work and the appreciations you'll get will help ease the pain of the loss.
2006-10-25 00:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by cucumber_cool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you and I know what you're going through. My sister died in a plane crash; she was only 34 yrs old. It's a normal reaction to be angry -- I stopped praying for a long time. I cried every day on my drive home and I don't know when the crying stopped. I don't know if this will even make sense to you but one day you'll stop crying, too, and accept that your husband's time on earth was up. That is all I could think of to be able to accept my sister's "untimely" death. You have to allow yourself to grieve and find a support group or go to counseling with your son to help ease the pain of losing someone so dear to you. It really helps when you talk your feelings out. I was so angry . . . but even in my anger I talked to God. One day you'll start feeling better; I don't know when but you will.
Bad things happen to everyone. "... painful situations are inherent in life -- loss, death, hurt, illness -- if we accept them as part of life, we do not suffer so much."
2006-10-21 19:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by mpicky2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I so understand... I am 49yo... I have lost a husband, mom my and dad both died in my home 2 years apart... with me having to administer CPR on both of them til the ambulance got there... and 12 years ago... my 16yo son was carjacked, kidknapped and murdered (this even made the national news)...
you have to get a grip and realize the day you are born you are going to die... I catch myself at times being to overly cautious with my remaining family members... I spent years so preoccupied with death... i felt it was around every corner.... always drive not riding with no one... I won't fly, ride horse or motorcycles... I have let these tradgedies change my life... and think... you may not have long to live and there are those that are still here and they need us to be strong... just give it your best and thats all you can do and in time it will get easier...
hope this helps... and makes sense
I have no words to take away your pain... no quick fix... you get up est day and choose to go on... and each night it's hard ... but you have to accept but not forget.
2006-10-21 19:18:27 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand the kind of trauma that you hv gone through when any of the loved ones depart the only thing left is pain & hi/her sweet memories & thats wht we hv to live with , but look at the brigheter side he got u a son & its ur responsibility to grown him up in a fine Gentleman , all his studies ,his problem have to be dealt with so pick up yourself & start working for your son & who knows God might hv some happiness stored for you anywhere.
If you need a friend to talk to then mail me on hotchocredrose@yahoo.com
Take Care & God Blees U
2006-10-21 19:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by hotchocredrose 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋