Who's fault is it and what should I do?
2006-10-21 18:56:23 · 29 answers · asked by Ginger C 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
explain to her the dangers of sexual relations, pregnancy and std's, get stricter on her, and let her know that it will be some time before you can regain her trust.
2006-10-21 19:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whose fault is it? I don't really understand what you mean by that, because I don't know the history of the situation.
I can tell you this: We have an 11 year old girl - and we have an "open door" rule in our house. Doors are never shut in this house unless you're changing your clothes. Also - there is no way a boy could get into the house without us knowing it. These rules will continue to be the case until she is living elsewhere. But most importantly - we work very hard to keep the communication lines open. She tells me when she likes a boy, or if a boy picks on her, or asks her to a dance or whatever. So - whose fault it is that a boy was in your daughter's closet is irrelevant. What's important is what rules you will lay down from this point forward, and how you will work on a trust issue with her.
2006-10-21 19:05:10 · answer #2 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is her fault. Even good kids mess up when it comes to their hormones. If you are a good parent, the important part about this situation is to talk to her about why it was wrong - without anger or yelling. Ask her if she would like to find her daughter hiding a boy in her closet - try to put her in your shoes and let her know she has to rebuild your trust now. I would advise against telling her not to see that boy again - this is something that never works and will probably only make her want to sneak off with him again. I feel for you - I have a little girl too and I'm dreading those teen years.
2006-10-21 19:03:29 · answer #3 · answered by LIl One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welll, i dont think that its anybodys fault. Problems comes from the circumstances and you must take it in a way that it can be solved and not to find anybody's fault. Here, in this case, she is an adolecent and is ready to experiment and experince which she has never experienced before. Of course its not appropriate for her age to do all these, but you should consider her stand and forgive her. Tell her the pros and cons of the early sexual relationships and how it can affect her lately. But dont try to boss her. This is an age where she would be strongly opposing any challenge, regardless that is from the parent. So, keep a cool head and make her understand about gravity of the problem and let her feel it. Do not use any harsh words too. It all depends on you and ur communication to your daughter. Feeel her, feel her points, try to on her side, but make slow hints about saftely and life. Tell her about the purpose of life and the proper way to live in a friendly manner. For that, be a good friend of he first. This cannnot be done in a fine morning. Remember , she should not feel that u are trying to change her and if she do know that, she may never change.
Anyways, best of luck for u and ur daughter. I would be happy to answer any other questions u may have.
Regards
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2006-10-21 19:08:18 · answer #4 · answered by GEL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were my daughter I would punish her for disrespecting my home. And I would talk to the boys parents and let them know what happened. But its not anyones fault not really. Teens their age are having sex and there is really nothing we as parents can do about it. We cant be with them 24 hours a day. So the best thing to do is talk to your daughter about the dangers of having unprotected sex. If she is having sex, you may want to put her on some type of birth control. Alot of mothers frown at this but I would rather my child be on birth control then to have her come out pregnant. Communication is the key
2006-10-21 19:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her fault for having him there, your fault for not knowing he was there, and his fault for being there. What should you do ? Call/tell his parents. Threaten to have the little horn dog locked up if he comes back in your house without permission. Talk to you daughter and find out what EXACTLY is going on in your house. Then be a parent and punish or teach her as needed.
2006-10-21 19:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by Tim P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm around your daughters age and i don't think its time to blame to anybody sit down with your daughter and the boy talk to them make sure it wont happen again . don't yell or at the the kids cause that makes them wont to do it more and will find ways to do that behind your back if the boy wont's to come over living room only and Ur little brother has to be in the room at all times compromise. good luck hope i was of some help
2006-10-22 05:37:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somewhere above I read the answer "Just don't let them meet again".That's not right.even if you don't let her meet him again,they will meet if they want to,no matter if you know or don't know they meet each-other.Or she will find another boy and of course,you cannot forbid her seeing ANY boy,come on,she is 14,not 14.When Iwas 14 I had my first sex and first boyfriend and we were happy together and that hasn't affected bad on my brain or developing.If your daughter wants to meet that boy,you shouldn't mess with them.It's their relationship,there isn't necessary to mess a third person(relationships are for 2 people,not 3).She is growing and you won't be able to look at her eerytime she does something.Just let her be a teenager.If I were you,I would suggest(I said suggest,not coerce) your daughter going to the hospital and talking to a gynaecologist about contraceptives and condoms and I would buy some for the girl,so to be sure she won't catch any sickness or get pregnant.
2006-10-21 19:27:08 · answer #8 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her to come out of the closet and be more honest about her private life
that goes for the boy as well
but look at it this way better out of the closet early on in life
than live a life of lies in the closet
and the fault is yours ofcourse for having closets in your house which provided the opertunity
2006-10-21 18:59:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
For one thing never leave the opposite sex in the house alone with your daughter. As far as who's fault that would be your daughter for bringing him in the house.
2006-10-21 19:03:02 · answer #10 · answered by p c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your fault to my opinion. You had not taught her to differentiate between good and bad. You should teach everything to your daughter. The relationships, the repercussions. You should act like a friend rather than a parent.
2006-10-21 19:07:52 · answer #11 · answered by Govinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋