been with here since i was 13....im going on 37,
i actually caught her this time but ofcourse "its not what i think it is"
this isnt the first time, but its the first time she had no choice to admit some guilt.
While going through the battle of this nightmare she finally admitted only one of the past rumors to be somewhat true, but ofcourse "only a kiss"
I could go on and if i went into details you would think i was nuts and ****, maybe i am.
Anyway.......i think this is the straw that broke the camels back, she wants to go to counceling but i cant even decide if i want to try to work this out, i need her to come clean...with everything, and the may be paternity implications,
this is nuts, and i have no idea where to start with figuring this out.
This has been more than half my life......
2006-10-21 18:40:11 · 18 answers · asked by dr68 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need a good attorney and a good counselor.
2006-10-21 18:42:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh it sounds like one of my questions i had before. and we have only been together 2 yrs now. you could always try counceling. as for paternity you have the right to be sure!!! its the law!!! get the test done. also go get tested for std's you never know some things you never show simptoms from, thats how i found out but then again he said it must of been from his ex and it didnt get treated with the first dose. i was 6 months pregnant and all my other tests were fine and normal. tell her your not stupid and how would se feel if she just fond out you just kissed some one or she caught you and it isnt what it looke like. get the devorce papers fill them out and tell her you will try counceling but even if you think shes doing some thing its over. once she sees the paper work shell pull her head outta her butt if not then you need a devorce and to find some one who will love you and want to be with you.
2006-10-22 02:12:00 · answer #2 · answered by evilella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow,my father in law is going throught this right now...we all knew my MIL was cheating,but he was wearing "blinders" the whole time...no one likes my MIL and he wants to "work it out" and they are talking about going to counceling...but i am 23 and been with my hubby 6 1/2 years(no kids)..and I know if it were me..I wouldnt want to work it out...once a cheater...always a cheater....I am sorry this is just my opinion...if she doesnt love YOU enough to stay true to YOU then YOU need to end it...I am sure your a nice guy and you dont need to put up with the BS...its NOT the end of your life...and when and if you deicde to divorce,it will look bad on HER...Not you... I know "bibilically" speaking divorce is wrong..but I feel as thought,in this situation,it is perfectly normal...if she doesnt respect you,thats HER problem..not yours...and you dont need that....
I hate to be like everyone else and say "walk away" only you can make the choice....No one can make it for you...and its going to be hard....but you can do it.....I know you love her...but there are TONS of ladys out there that would LOVE to have a non-cheating man in their life...please dont waste any more of your life on her....one day you'll find someone who does respect you!!!
She was caught red handed....lied....no telling what else she has done....
Its up to you,and I wish you the best of luck with whatever you end up doing sweety....
2006-10-22 01:45:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling for goodness sake, but tell the truth. Don't be afraid of giving your real views, and let it be known that you no longer want any part of the situation, and that the mistrust has just gone way too long. If you still love her, counseling will help, but if you're tired of the charades, just let the counseling be the closure you desperately need.
Best of luck to you, it's never too late to pick up the pieces.
2006-10-22 01:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is horrible. I would say go with your gutt. If you are tired of what she is doing, then maybe it is time to move on. Yes, you have been with her for a long time. But you have a life to live and you deserve to be honest and loved. I am a woman and would not want to be treated this way. If she has been this dishonest for this long, how do you know she will be honest during counsling. If you feel you need counsling to help your thoughts, then go. But do it for YOU.... good luck
2006-10-22 01:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by LM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does it because she can. You let it go the other times, so why not now?
Stop being a pansy, this is why your wife is doing this in the first place.
Get rid of that hooker, and be happy that you still have the other half of your life to enjoy with someone that loves you. So stop crying about it, and go get that person.
2006-10-22 01:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get out of it. Walk away. You are 37, don't waste anymore time on her. I am a woman, and believe most of the time people should try to work things out, but.........haven't you been lied to enough? Do you really want to waste money on counciling? Walk away, move on and find a woman who will love YOU and not every guy in town. She's out there.
2006-10-22 01:44:20 · answer #7 · answered by PRIVATE P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her coming clean will not make things easier because once you know all the dirty details - you'll just rehash them over in your mind --- or you'll find yourself wondering if you're as good as the man/men she's been with.....
If paternity is an issue - get DNA test done.
2006-10-22 01:51:27 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could give her one more chance & go to at least one counselling session with her... & if she doesn't start coming clean, end it right then & there, because if she's ever going to come clean, that would certainly be the time for her to do it.
But, think about this first>>> even if she did come clean, would it help, or is it already too late?
2006-10-22 01:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all , I am sorry! Nothing hurts the way betrayal does. You should take your time in deciding what you want. Because it has to be what you are willing to live with. But make sure you can live with the decision.
2006-10-22 01:48:48 · answer #10 · answered by ktpt 4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to councelling, think with your head not your heart. Get your papers in order in case there is a divorce in the future. Im really sorry for you.
2006-10-22 01:42:41 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋