im a woman spend the last 15 yrs marry to what i call a father type man. he a great provider we are great together. what i mean in the last 4 yrs there being no sex. i know that he love me in he work hard that i don't have too. i met this guy in he everything that my husband use to be he is kind in loving.i want to spend the rest of my life with him he make me feel like we are the only people in the world. i haven't cheated yet but everyday it get harder to be faithful.i dream of this guy while im laying in my husband arm , i know this is wrong in i was raise better but how do i turn off my feeling . we have 4 wonderful children in i wouldn't never want to hurt them they are my life.so do i walk away from him in keep my marriage stable. even if my husband don't think that i need his touch anymore
2006-10-21 18:37:14 · 19 answers · asked by elisa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm a husband and I work very hard FOR MY WIFE too. I emphasize "work hard for my wife".I understand if my wife cheats on me I will flip out, because I do what I do for her and my family. If you cheat on him and get caught, you took the chance, and he will hate you and so will your kids, kiss that family you worked so hard for, GOODBYE. Time to start over. If you divorce him, then your kids would not hate you as much, and you can have all the sex you want, and maintain your dignity.( oh yea, P.S. making your own money is always helpful !!!) If you ask him to consider being swingers, and explore? that's an option. The problem here is SEX, girlfriend you need to get LAID!! This is a very simple situation to solve. It just so happen this guy was in your path, and he said something to you that was appealing to you, and you havn't felt like that in 4yrs. and you liked it, YOU LIKED IT ALOT. so now, he is in your target, your hot zone, your,.. I want to have crazy mad sex with you zone. So before you throw your life away for sex, try being straight forward with your husband about sex first, before looking for other ventures of your own. (DO NOT MENTION THE OTHER GUY)
2006-10-21 19:18:10 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Advise = ) 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WTF. Yea everyone wants new stuff but come on. You're thinking about throwing away a relationship thats lasted over 15 years for a guy that "could" possible be a good screw. Just like a car, a house and your friggen yard for that matter things need maintaince. You cannot expect your 5 year old car to look as good as it looked when you drove it off the lot if you never wash or detail it. You need a special wash and wax job on your relationship. Sex is not one sided. And 4 years...gimme a break unless he's getting some elewhere or paralyzed in that region theres no way its been 4 years ince you had any. He may be busy but not every second of every day. Find out his schedule and pic a weekend or just a night you know he'll be home. Get rid of the kids cause you need a break too. Get some sexy lingerie, cook up/ order a nice meal for the two of you take a bubble bath or sensual shower. Offer to give him a massage. Make it a getaway weekend and spend a night at a hotel and go on a date, yes married people can date and if he doesnt screw you like its 1999 then go for the other guy, But i guarantee you that not only will this get you laid but it will make your relationship stronger.
GOOD LUCK and run away from temptation
2006-10-21 19:49:08 · answer #2 · answered by lovesickprincess 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First you should see if your husband is open to couples counseling. If this question blindsides him, he may not be aware that there was a problem in your relationship in the first place. Although, after 4 years of no sex, he must think something is wrong too. Try to work on your problem with your husband first. Plan date nights every week. Make a real effort to improve the romance in your relationship. Tell him exactly what you need from him. Sometimes you have to be very straightforward with men. I'm constantly amazed at how oblivious my husband can be to what I see as problems in our relationship. As long as you stay in contact with this other man it will be very hard to try to improve relations with your husband. You need to take a break from the other man. Right now it might seem like he's great, but your husband seemed that way at first too. Life won't always be sunshine and lollipops with the other man either. Relationships are all work no matter who you're with. If after the break you are getting along great with your husband and the other man doesn't seem so wonderful...then good. You'll have your romance with your husband back. If you still don't get anywhere with your husband, then you'll be able to move on with life with a clear conscious, knowing at least you tried.
2006-10-21 18:45:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not be honest and let him know that you need more in the relationship and would he consider counseling. Maybe he is feeling bad about the no sex issue and would like to talk about it but doesn't know how to bring it up. Don't throw your marriage away so fast. Would you want him to cut and run if the role was reversed. 15 years is a lot of time - first try and if it doesn't work - at least you will know that you have tried and your husband will have had an active role in trying to save the relationship.
Good luck.
2006-10-21 19:22:13 · answer #4 · answered by Purgatory 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rally too bad that some people will never grow wiser, just older.
Youare caught up in the "new love" stage. You blame the lack of sex only on your husband (no such thing there, sweetie), you are stupid and selfish enough to think that just because you dont know someones bad habits and character flaws, they must not have any.
Your husband has been a good father and mate, and this is your reciprocation? You are a disgusting human being, but I am comforted by the fact that people like you always get whats coming to them.
2006-10-21 18:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Any whimsical decision can have tremendous negative impact on the life of 6 persons. Just think. I agree with you that there is a vacuum in your sexual life. But why don't you sit with your husband and talk directly regarding fulfilling the vac ***? I think an open talk will be quite difficult but fruitful. If I have understood your situation correctly then I have an empathy with you and saying once more that don't take and decision in haste. Meditation also helps in this type of situation.
Finally, take a break and plan for a holiday trip with your family
2006-10-21 18:52:55 · answer #6 · answered by Abhijit 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aww your in a complicated subject, it style of feels like no rely what selection you're making somebody will finally end up injury. it extremely is obtainable your arranged husband will comprehend and actually have a platonic dating with you for the subsequent 5 years, despite the fact that in case you may desire to weigh up the pros and cons of this occasion, and despite the fact that if that's unquestionably possible. it ought to break your loved ones yet you are able to no longer stay a lie, and you do no longer prefer to spend something of your life questioning what if. honestly your happiness is greater significant to your parents than custom? stable success despite the fact that selection you go with. :)
2016-11-24 22:12:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A loveless marriage isn't helping you, but it may be an anchor for your kids. Perhaps the honest approach is best. It may cause your husband to be the man he once was. If he is a big *** though, he may be waiting for this, to use it as an excuse against you in a divorce court. Be careful. Only you know best here.
2006-10-21 18:43:26 · answer #8 · answered by Maniac Number One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at the movie The Bridges of Madison County. You may find some inspiration there. I know this is bad advice but I don't think you should throw away your marriage just like that. You may regret it later. But I would advise that you have an affair. This is a selfish act that you need to do for yourself at this point in your life. I know...bad advice...but this is my gut instinct about it. Give yourself permission to have a little fun.
2006-10-21 18:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by Optimistic 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go have sex with the other guy and record it. Then show your husband the recording. Or better yet, have sex with the other guy and let your husband walk in and see you going at it.
2006-10-21 19:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by Nunya Biz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋