after he has been gone almost a month-HEART BROKEN IN MICHIGAN
2006-10-21 17:05:31 · 26 answers · asked by kdkc06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am also a fellow Michiganian, I think our cold weather is freezing up the male brain. I think that men slip into amnesia when it comes to there own faults. or they are in denial. My man does that to, no matter how much we argue he never sees his weaknesses. If he called to tell you it was over he is a jerk anyway- don't let him take your spirit from you, he seems to be ok with splitting up so don't let him feel like he has weakened you. Stay strong and F*** HIM.
2006-10-21 17:10:34 · answer #1 · answered by mary07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men are Men, they look for faults in women to cover-up the wrong that they do... without thinking that it takes 2 to make the marriage work-out and it takes 2 to make the marriage go astray. well, if your husband has found someone new after a month and thinks that by enumerating your faults will make him less guilty by leaving you then, what else is left for you to do, girl?? cry each and every passing day??? make your life miserable everyday??? HELL , NO... let it be then and move on with your life , girl, I have been there and I do not want to be there again... It will be hard in the beginning but will be for the better. I don't know if you have kids but , I'd rather be a single parent than have a husband and Father that turns his back in the family after being gone for a month..that tells the truth. Just accept it as it is and never run after him .... lat him go a guy like that is NOT WORTH KEEPING... if you get him back you think he will not do it again ??? There is no guarantee, so if you can move -on do so...
2006-10-21 17:26:50 · answer #2 · answered by pinky c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always easier to point out someone Else's faults and not your own, so apparently that is what he's doing. You know what his faults are and he knows what his faults are it's just that he sounds like a self absorbed jerk who can't take the blame for the things he has done. There is no reason it should break your heart that he chooses to be that way if anything tell him you have pity for him that he can't be an adult about the situation and that you hope somewhere down the line he learns to grow up and be an adult, until he does he will grow to be a very lonely old man regardless if he is with you or someone else.
2006-10-21 17:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by star110772000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that this guy was such a jerk to do this on the phone.
He only pointed out your faults becasuse he is too imature to see his own. He was also a creep to NOT get counseling and try to work things out.
I was betrayed by my X and I know how much it hurts. Please don't destroy your future personal happiness by letting this guys dysfunction define you.
You will have to take the time to grieve. Then realize that this is for the best, because if he could this easly bail out of a marriage commitment he wouldn't be worth spending the rest of your life with him. A key thing is that we might fall in love with someone but that doesn't mean you have to be with them. People talk about being selfless and scraficing all for your spouse....that is all wrong. If you can't be on the recieving end of love, the love will be one sided and won't do you any good.
Once you get over the biggest grief. Pull yourself together and make your life the best that it can be.
The best revenge is to be happy and eventually sucessful on either being alone or in a new relationship.
Be strong
2006-10-21 17:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never met a woman who has said anything different about their significant other. To answer simply...why: It's always easier to point the finger at someone else. Even more so, when you know there are three more pointing back at you.
Meaning.. we all know it's easier to point out faults of others, and we do it because we try to "cover up" our own dirt so the focus is more so on the other person.
For him to call and say this after a month...it took him that long to gather up the courage to do it? And over the phone? Sounds like to me you are better off...but then again, there are always two sides to a story. I know of your heart break, but don't continue to hold on to something that doesn't want to be held. I know, the oldest cliche...but it is so true.
2006-10-21 17:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he knew it would devastate you... I would just about guarantee that he's got someone else doing the mattress mambo.. That's why he's dumping on you to make you feel like it is your fault that he cheated and is divorcing you...
He's covering for his guilt... Natural tendency of the scum at heart...
I'd get a good lawyer and ask him to look into a private detective to research his current living conditions AND examine his business trips that he may have taken in the last few years of marriage... He may very well have committing adultery during these last few years... He may have screwed up and put something incriminating on a business credit card OR a record of an expenditure that includes miscellaneous additional expenses... Strip joints, bars, hotel double occupency...
Sorry you had a rat for a husband... Hope you can land on your feet and find that he screwed up...
2006-10-21 17:34:09 · answer #6 · answered by James B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he does not want to admit that he failed, He knows exactly what the problem was so don't blame yourself....He is just letting you know that you were to good a person for him, because he was a dog....If you know in your heart that you did no wrong, then you already know who was at fault....Move on sister and let him know that he did you a favor .....Thank him and find someone better.....He may have issues that you never knew about....
2006-10-21 17:23:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people do not acknowledge the faults in themselves.Also for some it makes them feel better to put the other down.Remind him that it took 2 to get married,it took 2 to have sex,it took 2 to9 argue,and it took 2 to get divorced.There is no way p[ossible for the fault to be completely at your feet.So smile and tell him to kiss your ***
2006-10-21 17:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by Red 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well to make a phone call to say this instead of respecting what you once had and do it in person........ that says it all. A mature man would sit you down, explain give you a chance to discuss, and realize it takes two. Get rid of him and give yourself the chance to find a real man.... one who cares for how you feel no matter what.
2006-10-23 07:28:03 · answer #9 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to justify his reasoning makes him feel better...he's placing blame on you cuz he's perfect. It's easier to place blame then to except his own faults. None of us are perfect, but the least perfect blame others to make themselves feel good about themselves, plus he's a chicken sh!t loser, and sue him for all the child support you can get if it is applicable!!!!!!!
2006-10-21 17:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋