I have been married for 30 years. Kids are grown up and no further responsibilities. Arranged marriage, but we did not get aling from day one. My wife's mother was always dominating and abusing her husband. That may have caused his early death. Her mother did the same to her husband. Three generations of women who tormented their husbands. I really do not know how to get out of this marriage. I have already transferred a large part of my properties in her name in the hope that this would give her security and reason enough to part with me amicably. I am looking for:
(a) Advice from the group.
(b) Any Legal remedies
(c) Any sites on the web which could be of help.
2006-10-21 16:49:51 · 18 answers · asked by MARS1951 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Even though you had negatives moments in your marriage, i'm guessing you have had lots of positives too. Focus on the positives and try to restore your marriage from their. You shouldn't be ashamed or too proud to seek counseling. I would suggest a good Christian counselor or pastor who knows how the institution of marriage as it was intended to be. Don't be another statistic and run away. Try to make it work, don't take the easy way out. No body wins like that. I know you think your wife is the problem, but there are always two sides to every story. Don't forget to take a look at yourself and see if there are any ways you can improve that might make your wife want to improve as well. Don't hide behind the pathetic excuse that she is genetically a bad wife. Don't run away!
2006-10-21 17:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by lilwalker02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a good attorney. I am glad you are smart enough to end the generational dysfunction. Just be sure she doesn't take all your money and property. Protect eewhat you NEED financially because she could clean you out. And don't count of it being amicable. There, will be stress and hurt. You can make it through it this and you will find peace eventually.
I have been through this myself. And I had to keep strong.
Be secure in your resolve to have the divorice. I am wondering if you live in the States. Because arrangmed marriages rarely happen here.
First thing is to get a good attorney who will not only help you preceed with the divorice but also protect the assets that you wil need for your future.
I wish you the best.
2006-10-21 16:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a man does not mean that you deserve to be abused. Man or women, abuse is wrong! I don't know how you stayed in a marriage for 30 years to someone you didn't love or get along with. All you do is tell her you want a divorce and start the procedings to do so. Get yourself a lawyer and leave. Your lawyer will help you with the legal part of dividing property.
2006-10-21 17:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the first thing everyone would ask would be what did you do all these 30 years when she was abuseing you ?? you have spent the major part of your life with her and now why are you divorceing her ? Do nont transefer your property in her name because she doesnt have any right on it asper indian law. You got to create evidence on her cruelty to you which you should prove in the court of law. Start recording the conversation with her , keep all the letters written by her which will help you in proveing the same. if possible try to get a video recording to be done. this all you should have done well before 30 years . any ways this is what you have to prove in order to get a divorce.
2006-10-21 21:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by coolguy2695 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an old habit and will die hard. Only a catastrophe may be able to change her view point. But let us hope it happens and she changes for the good. Divorce is a solution, but should be tried only when all other avenues are closed. And stop transferring any thing in her name. Gaining property will make her head high.
2006-10-21 17:42:38 · answer #5 · answered by Meeto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You obviously don't live in America, but if your wife is abusing you like her mother and grandmother did their husbands, then that in and of itself is grounds for a divorce in most places. Other than that just file for a divorce using whatever legal means you have wherever you live. Surely there is something that will allow you to end a loveless marriage. Good luck.
2006-10-21 16:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by The Nana of Nana's 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and your wife live on opposite poles, I guess there is no other way to get out of the mess except filing for a divorce on grounds of incompatibility. It would be quicker and easier if the divorce was filed mutually. If you go it alone and she opposes, you might get it eventually, but its sure going to be time consuming. I'm not sure about websites, but you could look for the ones offering legal aid or find the answer in Yahoo! Answers itself, from someone else who knows about it.
2006-10-22 05:54:00 · answer #7 · answered by Modest 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if you dont want to be the next man in the grave by this ruthless family of women then you need to get a good a ttorny and file for divorce or at least a legal seperation.If she wont be reasonable there is not much you can do about it but you can still divorce her no matter if she wants it or not.Get free and live life while you still can.Good Luck
2006-10-21 17:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents do not have any more control over you. They cannot force you to stay with your wife if you are so unhappy. You can try marriage counseling or talk to a counselor yourself for advice. You can also talk to your lawyer or a divorce lawyer about the legal things. Hope it works out.
2006-10-21 16:55:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are unhappy then you need to leave her. Don't wait around and waste more of your life on someone you do not love. You deserve to be happy and you deserve real love. Of course if you are not in the united states then I don't know if my advice is any help. I know that cultures are different and sometimes just leaving is easier said than done. I hope everything works out for you. Take care.
2006-10-21 16:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋