I came out about two years ago--I'm almost twenty now. I have an ob/gyn that I see for pelvics and bc and everything (I'm on bc to regulate my periods). I'm wondering if I should tell her about my orientation? I trust her and everything--I'm sure she wouldn't freak out or anything, but I'm still a little nervous, because my family flipped out. I haven't ever had sex (kind of embarassed about that), but I guess I'd like her help with making sure I avoid STD's and all that crap when I do, because I have no clue about how to do that with les sex. Do you think I should tell her? What should I say? Do you think she'll be knowledgeable about safe les sex? (Sorry about all the questions--I go to this anti-gay college and I'm pretty cut off from the gay community here.) Any personal experience/knowledge would help. Thanks so much!
2006-10-21 16:35:52 · 15 answers · asked by kacey 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I think you should tell her. I would say to her, something like "I have some questions about safe sex in a female/female relationship." And leave it at that. She will get the point that way, and you wont have to feel so vulnerable. Good Luck and don't be embarrassed that you haven't had sex yet! Its all good!!
2006-10-21 16:41:43 · answer #1 · answered by christycearley 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her if/when you want professional advice about having safe sex w/a woman. For the most part, safe sex w/a woman consists of using something like a dental dam, which is just a flat piece of latex you can use so that your mouth never comes into contact with your partners genitals.
Also, why are you embarrassed about never having sex at 20? It's a good thing. Sex should be shared with 2 people who actually love each other. Modern society seems to have lost touch with that, and sex become a lot more about meaningless fun than anything. It feels better when both partners are in love w/one another, because not only do you have the physically pleasure, but the emotional pleasure as well (which, from what I've heard, the emotional joy is far greater than the physical). I'm a 24 yr old lesbian who's also a virgin, and proud of it. I would be more embarrassed about explaining why I, being so young, have had like 20 partners or whatever (which I know some of my straight friends have had that many at my age).
2006-10-21 18:50:12 · answer #2 · answered by goldenrose82 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you need to tell the gyn unless she asks if you are sexually active. And if you feel uncomfortable about asking about les sex stuff then go look for a lesbian gyn you can go on gay websites in your area and look. Also as for that college if you arent planning on being in love until you finish its good to keep quiet there if its bad thing there. But if you want to live and have a relationship I would transfer to another school. Good luck
2006-10-21 17:10:38 · answer #3 · answered by mamacitac9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definite for sure i visit: I ask. human beings say what they are in case you ask them. for sure now and again they lie or are too embarrassed to say so that you ought to ask them in a way that doesn't embarrass them and in an section the position they could be able to arise with the money for to reply truly in the journey that they believe you. and also you've were given to convey them to believe you. Be impressive. shop secrets and techniques and probably tell her some secrets and techniques of your human being (perhaps alongside with even if you imagine you're lesbian or bi?)
2016-12-05 02:23:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have told mine yes. I didn't really have to tell her though. As soon as I started going to her she asked if I had ever had sex. I said 'yes'. She asked with a male or female. I said 'female'. Then she asked if I had used sex toys etc. She was very thorough.
I'm surprised it isn't something you have been asked before. Have you ever been asked if you've been sexually active? Don't be emabarrased about not having sex. Good for you. I wish I had started caring for my vagina before I got sexually active.
I think if you are concerned about stds etc that maybe you should mention it to her. For future reference she will then know and she will be able to calm your fears. She is probably your best guide to what you need to know about it all. She isn't going to go mad at you - doctors have to be open minded and if she isn't then it is time to get another doctor.
If you are comfortable telling her then tell her. You can just explain that you don't know much about it because of your circumstances and she will be able to help you out. Only if you feel comfortable with it though.
2006-10-22 15:51:16 · answer #5 · answered by gretphemelger 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure. Ob/Gyns have heard probably just about everything. Last time I went to a new one they asked me whether I used birth control and I said, "No, I have sex with women." I know people who have written "Don't use sperm" on the form where it asks what kind of birth control you use. And a straight friend of mine, when asked if she planned on having children, said "That's an entrance, not an exit."
2006-10-21 16:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by kundalinicat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
One thing she had better be is professional about the whole thing. I have told my gynecologist and she had no problem with it, but I live in a slightly more progressive town. You should tell her, but it won't really make a difference (or better not) in the way she treats you and should make no difference at all in the examination. She would, however, as a gynecologist, be able to tell you how to avoid STD's; and that would be the main reason for telling her about your choice of lifestyle. Bless you and good luck, my dear.
2006-10-21 16:53:29 · answer #7 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah, probably, since she'll probably suggest some sorts of protection you haven't heard of before. gynos have to be educated on all sorts of sex, everything that humans have come up with, and she'll definitely be more reliable than the internet on some things.
2006-10-21 16:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by nickname 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I told mine, there we glad I did. They said it show I trusted them enough to tell them. They won't care that you're a beautiful lesbian if they are professional.
2006-10-22 20:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by illuminessa.villasenor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You MUST come out to your Dr....anyone else is up to you but your Dr simply has to know.
Lesbians have different health issues than straight women.
Do it next visit.
2006-10-22 14:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋