my husband promises me these long back rubs and romantic nights in bed, and its like i get a few things done,
and i come back in the living room and hes fast asleep on the chair and its saturday and 9:30, he is 25, not 80, im getting tired of this... then he wakes up, wants a quicky for 2 minutes and says im tired im going to bed...... Any idea on how to stop this? Im sexy and i try to be all into him and he is just like eh.... im tired, but its like all we ever do is quickys... i wonder if hes gay... he always wants it doggy style, and its not like im fat or gross or anything.. hmm...
2006-10-21 16:35:26 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i mean i know hes had an emotional i guess "bi" relationship b4 we met..., so im wondering if hes diverting back
2006-10-21 16:41:08 · update #1
it cannot be me, i am a slut in bed.
2006-10-21 16:41:26 · update #2
nice t i t s
get rid of the jerk
2006-10-21 18:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in a similar situation with my long-time girlfriend where I would plan intimacy and promise favors. But I found that when I didn't follow through, it was because I was tired or something else came up, some excuse.
In retrospect, I believe that although I was still attracted to her physically, I was no longer attracted to her emotionally. I had lost respect for her because she had some issues with forgiveness and hatred toward perfectly nice people. Of course I didn't realize this at the time.
This is not a direct answer to your question, but more of an anecdote. I hope you can gain some insight into your own situation from it. Unless I have more details about your relationship (which are totally personal), I can't be objective.
2006-10-21 16:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by polebowler 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ashley, I feel for you. My wife has a much lower sex drive than I do. She's always too tired, too busy, etc. I've tried a lot of different approaches, like trying to get her to talk about her fantasies (but she claims she doesn't have any) and have bought several books that I thought might help (e.g. For Yourself, Becoming Orgasmic and one on fantasy role-playing).
When we make love I always make sure she has an orgasm. It's not easy, but I always make the effort. I go out of the way to set a romantic mood, lighting candles, giving back rubs, lots and lots of foreplay, etc. I even tried putting on porn, which seemed to turn her on for a while until the novelty wore off.
If you haven't tried all of these yet with your guy, give them a try. Just because they didn't work for me, that doesn't mean they won't work for you. Porn is supposed to work better for guys anyway. Of course, the books I mentioned won't do much for a guy, but there are similar things out there for guys. Probably books that emphasize fantasy and creativity would be best.
If none of this works, and you still want to keep your marriage together, you could always try to find a "friend with benefits" relationship with a guy friend--someone you can trust and to whom you're attracted. If you think your guy is bi, maybe he'd be interested in a threesome. At least that's something you could explore by way of fantasizing and then see if it's something you'd like to try for real.
Anyway, whatever you do, don't suffer in silence. Life is too short!
Best of luck!
2006-10-22 04:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by Hugh Mility 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
doing it doggy style does not mean he's gay, that just happens to be a favorite of men because it's a comfortable position that also gives men a feeling of control... it's also a fast way to get off, which is probably what he's looking for -- because he actually IS tired... try getting it in the morning, that is a favorite of mine and a great way to start the day... it has nothing to do with you being ugly... you are asking yourself all the wrong questions... saturday at 9:30pm is LATE for anybody (unless he wakes up at 5:00pm)... just relax already and find a good time like much earlier in the day to have sex!!
2006-10-21 18:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by misterlyle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not into you. I used to do the same thing with women that I was getting tired of. Doggy Style is much easier because he can pretend you are someone else, or maybe he is gay and likes to think you are a man. Either way he does not find you sexy no matter what you think about yourself, so find another partner.
2006-10-21 18:30:33 · answer #5 · answered by ThELaWMan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ashley, it's not a question of whether he is gay or not but it could be a medical issue. Is he diabetic, does he smoke or drink, does he have a cardiac condition? When's the last time he had a check-up? If and when this is resolved then you might as well face the facts and realize that he may be a dude in the rack. Or maybe he has a sugar on the side,..... or maybe he just doesn't find you attractive sexually. Sorry, that's all I can offer.
2006-10-21 17:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not into you. Either he's gay or he wants someone else or he has someone else. If he doesn't want to see your face during sex, 'nuff said. As for doggy style, that's my favorite position because it feels good. However, I also like to look at my wife's face and body during six. I will scratch her back and massage her for a long time because it makes her happy.
There's a book called, "He's not that into you." Read it, it has many signs to look for. But be careful, even though they love their wives, guys with nagging wives will exhibit _some_ of the same signs as guys who don't love their wives.
2006-10-21 16:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by diesel_pusher2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you okay in the money dept.? How many children do you have? are they up to date with their dr.s appt's? Your car's are running well, the insurance is paid? Here come's winter;;;;sweater's and coat's$$$, Is he treated well at work? Do you also work or is it all on him? Raising children is hard work, I know, but sometimes the everyday stress can be overwhelming. I stayed at home and raised mine but I was always concious of his mood's when my husband got home. It could be he's just stressed out! Rub his back even while he's asleep, he'll know he's not alone, plus you could be surprised at what turn's up!!
2006-10-21 18:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by M.R.M. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound like he takes you for granted. I don't mean to say he's a bad person, but it's human nature to recognize patterns and expect similar results.
You need to jolt him out of this. Tell him you want to start exploring your own life. If he thinks there's a chance you could grow away from him, he'll start paying a LOT more attention to you.
2006-10-21 16:50:27 · answer #9 · answered by felonius_monkey 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Go for the back rub the moment he promises it. He ain't gay, just a little selfish.
2006-10-21 16:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back rubs? Romantic nights? sheesh - you sound a bit high maintenance.
Doggy style would mean he doesn't have to hear your nagging....
2006-10-21 21:44:25 · answer #11 · answered by liverpuddles1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋