2006-10-21 16:31:11 · 17 answers · asked by Adrienne W 1 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Not that I expect it, but I am never surprised if someone tries to burn me. I often will pay it no heed.
Burn my family or friends, however, and you are in for a very rough ride. this is not a cutting of ties, this is a prevention of the person from burning others. Pop goes the ego.
2006-10-21 16:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Richard 7 · 65⤊ 1⤋
I think that depends on how many times that particular person "burns you". If it happened more than twice, you need to examine your relationship closely and have a heart to heart chat with that person and come up with a solution that would be more beneficial to you and the person involved. Relationships are never perfect. There is a lot of give and take with them. Weigh out the pro's and the con's of this situation and talk it over with the person you are having trouble with. Hopefully the two of you can come to a healthy solution for the both of you.
Good luck and I hope I was some what helpful.
2006-10-22 00:58:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lyndee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on your situation. Sometimes you have no choice but to suck it up and move on. You will be surprised at what wounds time can heal. Most likely you'll need to find new friends, but you should consider the age and maturity of the person at the time they burned you. For instance for a period of time I would continually get burned by my friends. I really didn't have the choice of other friends. I tried but I couldn't "gain entrance" to anybody's circle of friends, so I stuck with my friends and just sort of accepted it. Eventually they matured, I matured, and I was able to break of from the group for awhile and upon my return they stopped burning me.
A very simplistic explanation of getting burned by your friends is the result of one of two things either your the jerk or they're the jerks. You may have committed some faux paux or treated them like crap and didn't even know it and so they felt like you deserved getting burned.
This does not justify their actions but you may have to simply live with it, but something needs to change. whether it's you who your friends are or simply whether you give them the opportunity it doesn't matter.
The decision where to cut ties or give them another chance is a personal decision but you should consider your friends age. if their younger than 15 there is a strong likelihood that they will be very different in a few years. I've seen a person go from extremely uptight conservative to pot smoking hippie in less than 3 years. Also how bad did they burn you. There is a chance that they thought it was all in good fun and you should let them know that you didn't like but do it subtly and open remark will cause them to go on the defensive and you change guilt to anger. Then there is the possibility of revenge, They may think that you did something to them and they want to get you back for it.
In most situations I would say at the very least back off and let them mature or if you deserved it soul search for a while and change how you act.
2006-10-22 00:52:31 · answer #3 · answered by polo_player13 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends, my kids have burned me numerous times but I love them and I forgive. The further people get out of my circle the more I would tend to cut ties the closer to that inner circle I give them another chance
2006-10-21 23:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by freemansfox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Burned once, shame on them. Burned twice, live and learn and move on. Burned for a third time - what the hell have you been sticking around for? Cut the ties. It'll be better in the long run.
2006-10-21 23:33:30 · answer #5 · answered by The Cuke 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe you get burned because that person is scared of their feelings and push away. Giving them another chance is silly but if you want to get hurt again thats up to you. Send them an email or slow mail and let them know that it wasn't yourself that got burned there the one that missed out on you by pushing you away and say thank you for teaching how to love and care, then walk away and don't look back. Learn and soon you will live again
2006-10-21 23:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by reddawndiva2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been burned many times, I tend to trust people and I care too much sometimes, but, I find that when I get burned, I have allowed it to happen, I usually get on with my life, don't dwell on the slight but I definitely do not do business, or whatever with that person ever again. I just leave it at that, I am usually even civil to them but I avoid any dealings with them ever again.Do not waste time on grudges, you only give your power away to the person who slighted you, move on.Keep your faith in people because there are many good people out there worthy of your time. You sometimes get burnt finding the good ones but keep on .Oh yeah....NEVER loan money you can't afford to lose.
2006-10-21 23:40:42 · answer #7 · answered by Crystalwoman57 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how badly you were burned. Ask yourself if you can trust this person again. If you can't then cut your ties . If you can then try again. After answering that question if you can trust them forgive and forget if you don't it won't work.
2006-10-21 23:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by regina g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I usually go on as if it's a clean slate; most times it really is coz I forget. But it's something really bad, then I remember and it will be in the back of mind from time to time when dealing with them.
They have to do that same really bad thing over and over before I give up for a while.
2006-10-21 23:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cut your ties
2006-10-22 05:44:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I give most people many chances, because its human nature to screw up. I am a patient person, an i think it takes many people a long time to figure out what the right thing is, and then do it.
2006-10-22 10:59:29 · answer #11 · answered by cutensassy222 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋