I haven't wavered in my loyalty to him at all, but he seems to be pushing me away. I am so upset and unsure if my love is enough to keep us together. Would you stay with your man while he was in prison?
2006-10-21 15:54:45 · 29 answers · asked by jasonslove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
NO run like HELL!! Do not WASTE YOUR LIFE ON waiting. Move on its ok. I know it is hard but do not stay around. I know you love him but 2-10 years. Choose a better future for yourself.
2006-10-21 15:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by sandiiiiii 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it depends on what he was sent to prison for. If he is guilty, and you know he is, of harming another human being, why would you want to stay with someone who has no respect for others? I hope you don't think you can change him. That only ends in disaster. But whatever you decide, I wish you well. This will be a hard decision.
2006-10-21 15:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by C B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were married to him, I would recommend you stay since you vowed to stay through better or for worse. Since you were fortunate enough to find out what the "worse" was before you took your vows, the choice is yours. Some things to think about:
1. I don't know what he is going in for, but unless it was for some kind of heroic vigilante act or a true miscarriage of justice, maybe this is not such a great guy to begin with. Certainly if it is a drug issue, when he gets out he will likely pick up where he left off. Between this and the fact that you are considering spending the prime of your life waiting around for someone, are you maybe worth more than you are getting? If you had a grown daughter and she came to you with this situation, what would you tell her to do?
2. Prison, as well as time, changes people, so even if you like what you have in him now, DEFINITELY do not marry him until a year after he gets out...When you are reunited, after that initial honeymoon period, you might not like the person he has become.
3. Of course he is pushing you away. First of all, if this is true love he is probably thinking you are better off without him. Second, this is incredibly stressful for him. I have had incarcerated family and can tell you, if you stay you are in for a roller coaster. He is in a very helpless position. He can't control a thing...doesn't know if you are being faithful and true or just saying what he wants to hear, can't help if you are in trouble, or be there to comfort you if you are sad. If you call or write about something that worries him, he will have to stew about it for hours or days before he gets that next letter or few minutes of phone time. He will feel so impotent and frustrated he might actually be better off without you. You will be equally helpless. You will have to live with your pain if he calls you up and says something like, "I'm very ill and they are not giving me proper medical care and I'm scared", or, "I don't know what's going to happen after lights out tonight because my roommates want to kick my ***". You can't do a thing about it but wait for that next call.
I hope this helps you think about what your life will be like if you stay. The sentence for him will also be a sentence for you. What you do is your decision, and since you don't give details about your relationship I can't give an opinion on whether it is worth it. But, you are not obligated to martyr yourself for him, if you actually want out.
2006-10-21 16:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on with your life, prison will more than likely harden him into a person you won't recognize 2 - 10 years from now.
I have no idea what he is in for, but you will more than likely be wasting whatever time you wait. His pushing you away is a sign, heed it.
2006-10-21 15:57:45 · answer #4 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the prison that houses this type of criminal is located in the criminals home town, then no, the criminal isn't shipped to some other prison, they would go to the one in the home town if there is room. The prisoner would not necessarily serve all ten years in prison. They can, and mostly do, get parole and will get out early - as long as they aren't breaking the rules in prison.
2016-05-22 08:51:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 - 10 years is a long time. No way. Dump him now and get on with your life. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. He isn't the guy for you. Do you really think he would wait for you to get out of jail? I doubt it. Wake up and smell the roses.
Have a nice day!
2006-10-21 16:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by Uncle Alf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why waste 2-10 years of your life for something this guy did,most likely when and if he gets out he will stay in trouble,move on and have some fun.You want have a real life with this guy.
2006-10-21 15:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are truly in love, then you still will be when he gets out. Depends what he is in prison for. IF it is for beating you, then no. Love can be blind, but it shouldn't be stupid. I think he is pushing you away because he doesn't think you will still be there when he gets out. It hurts less for us guys if we push away rather than be pushed away. If you decide to wait, then be faithful.
2006-10-21 16:01:55 · answer #8 · answered by shepherd169 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
+well id say no . my bf just did 5 yrs in prison, even wanted me to marry him. everything was fine till he got out and didn't need me anymore. he broke my heart be careful. we were together for 2 yrs prior. 9 yrs total .was a big big slap in the face ill tell you . i was faithfull all the way to and now hes cheating on me . dont do it guys are pigs
2006-10-21 21:49:20 · answer #9 · answered by justbecause 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my GOD NO!!!! You would just be waiting for someone who makes REALLY stupid choices and throw your life away. he is pushing you away because he has to get his act together....AND SO DO YOU! get some counseling as to why you choose "bad boys" ...it's most likely real low self esteem. you deserve to yet your life back on track and hang out with people who aren't on the "fringes of society" Let him get well, but you have to take care of yourself and get well now!!!
2006-10-21 15:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by outtahere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋