he is lying to me about many things, and could get physical. i don't want him to hurt me or our 2 year old son.
2006-10-21 15:50:31 · 33 answers · asked by froggyfrogplay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
there shoud be some shelters that will take you in and hep you get on your own 2 feet.......
2006-10-21 15:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by MC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, if you think he may get physical with you, the last thing you want to do is confront him on his lies in person. Make a list..Where will you go when you decide to leave...Where will you hide extra cash...Who will you call when you finally have left? Who will be your biggest supporter? Any website will have a safety checklist for you to fill out. Fill it out. And do it as soon as possible. Right now, at least your thinking about it and thats the first step. Keep moving forward. Try not to push any of his buttons or try to change him.. it will NOT work. I did my checklist MONTHS before I left my husband. Though, don't let this discourage you. If you feel strong enough and have a good support system.. Mom, Dad, sister, friends, etc...then I say go for it, leave whenever the time is right for you. I will say this.. when you leave, you will feel a sigh of relief. Be prepared for the ups and downs of seperation but know that you are doing this because of YOU and your son. And, ultimatley, thats the most important thing. Good Luck Sweety. Research domestic and emotional violence on the web. I'm sure you will be able to relate to some if not all of it out there. There are many women going through the same thing.. Keep on, keepin on...
2006-10-21 16:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set your mind right. You only leave ONCE.
Stay with family, file for divorce (then you will have the law to protect you from him), get a job, and then get your own place.
If you get anything out of the divorce--treat it like Christmas. Don't let the lawyer drag things out and take your money.
Work your way to a good life for you and son. You can do it. Many people have! YOU DON'T NEED HIM.
Men like him are everywhere...they show their tempers because they are allowed to.
Get strong and stay strong. Be the kind of mother your son will be proud of. Better to live with no Dad in the house than to live with a bad Dad...you know?
2006-10-21 15:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by Pa B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in your situation before in my first marriage...the only thing you can do is leave before something terrible happens to you or your son. I won't say it isn't hard but you have to do this for your own good. Have a place lined up to go to when he is gone and then leave with the things that you need to take care of your son and yourself...sometimes a little bit of time away from each other is all that it takes and I will say that I did attempt to go back after awhile for the kids' sake and it still didn't work but now that we are divorced we are friends and can at least be civil since the kids now have kids of their own........It is hard to do but it is the only thing to do--have the restraining order in place but let me tell you they don't always work..........talk to your minister or someone close to you that will help you need moral support and step down once you decide to leave..
2006-10-21 17:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by old lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if there is a close family member or friend who could let both you and your son stay with them; if you need too (or feel it would be safer) get your family member to bring a police officer with them, just to make sure that you are able to leave without him harming you or your child. It is better for you to stay with someone you are close to for a while, until you can make sure that he isn't going to do anything to put you or your child in any danger. If he begins to give you any problems or threatens you in any way..report it..and get a restraining order against him..so that he is not allowed to come near you. It may even be better to leave when he is not at home. I am sorry to hear about your situation..I hope everything works out okay for you.
2006-10-21 16:10:22 · answer #5 · answered by me_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the house for the safety of you and your son.
Don't go where he knows to find you.
Go far away. Maybe out of state.
Is there someone you can stay with far away?
A friend? A relative he's not very familiar with?
Be as sneeky about it as possible. Wait till you know he won't figure it out and leave like a theif in the night.-- And remember go FAR away.
Take a plane. Borrow money. Do what you need to do. I hope he hasn't already been aggressive with your child. You have your son's future and safety to think about. If you stay longer you will be exposing your son to his wrath.
Leave fast. Leave smart. Leave no clues to him.
Good luck.
2006-10-21 15:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be careful!
You need to do it legally because of your son.
Is his temper on record?
Do you have family near?
Check the Internet for the laws in your state and then
seek a lawyer.(for separation)
If he has a bad temper and you fear his reaction, you are better off keeping it silent until all of your ducks are in a row.
You need to get out if you fear for you and your son, at the same time think long term so he can't get legal custody of him.
Get help don't try to do it alone.
Seek a lawyer, Seek family, Seek a shelter.
If you see his temper, call 911
Best wishes
2006-10-21 16:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave, go to the store take your son and go to police station. If you dont your not putting your son first, keeping him there makes the risk higher. Men like that use fear to control you and youve allowed that. Dont. If my husband ever tried that hed so be eating the floor and ive told him that. Respect yourself and your not. You want your son to grow up like his dad? Abuse his girlfriends/ wife? It will partly be your fault then what? " Im sorry son I was so scared to leave" Will the future girl deserve that?
2006-10-21 16:00:51 · answer #8 · answered by Alyssa C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have a very good plan that includes "no looking back!" If your 2 year old is going to grow up healthy, get him out of there now. No one should live with the threat of harm. Life is too short.
2006-10-21 15:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should never stay in a abusive relationship. Take your son and go home to your parents till you can get on your feet again. Get a restraining order against him if you have to. You never let someone put there hands on you or your child. There is allot of help out there if you need it.
2006-10-21 16:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by DH 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this does sound like a serious situation and I was going to tell you to pack up and leave one day when he isn't home but the two of you share a son together and you don't won't to keep him from his son
I suggest you get help from a family member or a very close friend
2006-10-21 15:54:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋