My husband has poor night vision, because of this he hates driving at night, especially to places that he has never been before. My husband was invited to a party tonight, and I was not invited, he has friends that don't like me, and they were the one's hosting the party. To be nice I offered to take him to the party otherwise he couldn't go. When dropping off my husband I asked what time he wanted me to pick him up, he said 9. At 8:30 I called him to confirm, but the call went straight to voice mail. I drove for 20 minutes and was in a dead spot when he called stating that he wanted to stay at the party until 11 and that he was turning his cell phone off. I am angry as I had driven 20 minutes to drive him, 20 minutes home, 20 minutes to pick him up, and another 20 minutes home, and I will drive 20 more minutes to pick him up and 20 minutes on the return trip. 60 miles , and over 2 hours in the car. I am angry. What would you say/do?
2006-10-21 15:46:27 · 40 answers · asked by samlevine05667 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have gone to the door and asked for him and said Hi! honey i am here ! then i would have gone back to the car and waited long enough for him to say his good bye's [maybe 10 minutes] if he didn't come out i would have gone home to bed & turned the phone off, and had a good nite's sleep when he did get home i would have said Looks good on you!he chose his friends over you! sucks to be him
2006-10-21 16:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by Summo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that you were willing to drive him to a party that you were not invited to and that you care about him driving at night tells me that you are the sweetheart in this marriage. First of all I would not attend any party or get together that my wife was either A, not invited to or B, did not feel comfortable attending. He loses a lot of points on this one. My advise to would be to explain things to him just as you have here and let him know that he can't use you like that again. If he should not drive at night then his poor vision should be listed as a condition or restriction on his drivers license. If he wants to attend a function where you are not welcome he should either catch a ride with someone who is attending the party, take a cab, or God forbid... stay home with his wonderful wife who is the light of his life? Good Luck.
2006-10-21 16:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you say anything at all - calm yourself down. He did try to reach you, although he did so a bit too late, which he should have thought about, obviously.
Once you're calm, simply explain to him that you felt angry about the fact that he apparently didn't check the time and realize that you were already on your way to pick him up. Explain that you really would have liked some consideration and respect for your time. Then simply ask him if he would agree, if it ever happens again, to either phone you early enough so that you haven't already left, or be resigned to leaving at the agreed time. If he says yes to that, consider the issue resolved and let it go.
Hope that helps!
2006-10-21 15:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anna S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go pick him up and I'm sure if you are not there to pick him up at 11 he will turn the cell phone back on and call you...at which time you should tell him to get one of "his friends" to drive him home. Would serve him right...he was very selfish to go to a party when you weren't invited to begin with.
2006-10-21 15:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks that he told you he would be there till 11 and then turned his cell off. I would say you never got the call, that is when he drags his butt home on his own. You were there and did your job! Any guy that would hang with friends that don't like his wife needs a wake up call! My wife is first and foremost in my life if someone has a problem with that then they are no friend or family for that matter.
2006-10-21 16:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, first of all, you have to realize that he does have a problem with night vision. (I do, too.) But, then, too, he has to realize that you are not his cab driver. You are his wife. As such, you two should be going to parties together. You mentioned that he has friends that don't like you. What does that mean? He should say to his friends, this is my wife, and she's with me???....??? He should get one of his buddies to give him a ride home. Or, maybe tomorrow during the day, sit down with him and talk to him about this face to face, so that next time things are worked out more amicably. I can see that you are disturbed about this, as I would be, too. If it is important to you, then it should be important to him, too. There may be more going on here than just driving him around....
2006-10-21 15:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by gloria123445566 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that there is nothing wrong with him wanting to stay a little longer but he should have called you before 9 to ask if you could pick him up at 11. I would ask him what he has a damn cell phone for!
2006-10-21 15:49:06 · answer #7 · answered by trinity082482 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are not angry anymore and then have a conversation. If you try to do that when you are emotional, you'll get into a fight and then no one wins. Tell him if he woudl have called you prior, you could have saved a lot of miles and time in the car. If you can try and anticipate what he may say in light of this, you might avoid a total misunderstanding. Good luck.
2006-10-21 15:50:41 · answer #8 · answered by VR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be polite. It was a misunderstanding. He should have called you when he changed his mind about being picked up. You decided to drive there before he confirmed the idea of being picked up at 9pm. Don't get too uptight over this--relax a bit and laugh about it. You both contributed to the mess equally.
2006-10-21 15:50:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to find his own way home if that's the case and why does he need to turn off his cell phone just cuz he's at a party...Also, if his friends don't like you, that's not fair of him to go to a party and he also could have called you a lot sooner if he decided he was going to stay. You should call him and leave a message on his voicemail telling him to find his own way home/have one of his friends bring him home and you would have told him that had he not turned off his phone!
Since I answered your question, can you please answer mine?
2006-10-21 15:49:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋