i'm a heterosexual female, in my mid-thirties, if that matters. i love to have sex, it feels good, it's something i want and think about but i only orgasm if i maturbate and i'm comfortable doing it in front of him but after a while this becomes sad and only demonstrates our separation sexually. i know that there may be all kinds of hidden mental barriers to consider but i'd like advice about the physical. Maybe an ideal position or activity, a device that we could both enjoy or share at the same time - magic. Any advice or experiences that might help or are relevant will be appreciated.
2006-10-21 15:40:46 · 31 answers · asked by japan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
All you really need is....hmmmmm....me!
2006-10-21 15:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by geestrangunit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your partner is well aware of the problem, and so it's probably distressing for him too.
Have a session where you both agree that no insertion will take place, but that you will mutually masturbate until orgasm. If he starts to come before you are ready, just back off a little until he subsides. By doing this you can arrange to both orgasm at the same time, which is a wonderful experience for you both.
Decide whether you prefer oral, or by hand. If his hands are rough, then use some baby oil.
Next time when you do this, you can insert just before orgasm, and experience orgasm with penetration.
If he enters you from the rear (I don't mean anal), then you can masturbate yourself while he is in, and succeed that way
2006-10-21 17:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your rite there hidden mental barriers just got to get over them, try diffrent things, positions. try going on top taking control, and doggie style. maybe using some sex toys or somthin.
try being more romantic with each other more, and get xtra horny before you go 4 a rumble in the jungle.
maybe cuz ur thinking about orgasm to much and u worrying that ur not going to is in play try relaxing and 4get about trying to.
2006-10-21 15:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by Ben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could there be something holding you back while you are having sex, like your upbringing, inhibitions or something that you can't let go with your partner? I think you'd be able to achieve this if you just let go of all inhibitions, not caring if he thinks you are off your rocker or something. Be as loud and aggressive as you want and tell him what you want, not worrying about what he thinks of your actions. Maybe that isn't the problem with you but I've heard this with other people that they just can't be totally uninhibited with their partner. Sometimes it is because of the personality or style of your partner that makes you inhibited.
2006-10-21 15:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly where you are coming from (excuse the pun) i am the same, i believe its a trust issue, i have only ever had an orgasm with one man, and i loved him so much, others i have thought i loved and it never happened, i can only put it down to my own trust and security level being very high, i don't trust very easily as i always believe i am gonna get hurt, so i never fully let go, i don't know what advice to give you, apart from maybe talking about it in depth, and take it from there xxx
2006-10-21 22:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by trouble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am in my early 40's and for a few years had a similar problem. For me it was a sort of mental thing - not letting go but I have now learned to totally enjoy sex. You need to communicate what you enjoy to your partner. When he is inside you, ask him to touch you in places you like - that should do it! good luck
2006-10-21 21:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had enormous issues of this additionally, began to alter after turning 30. something she ought to do is have a pee till now you get intimate so she is conscious she would be able to no longer pee, she must be waiting to loosen up and not subject approximately that. whilst she feels that way be mushy, i got here upon it impossible to allow pass whilst there grew to become into too lots stimulation/rigidity. whilst she feels that decelerate, if it in the time of intercourse, no longer too lively despite the fact that if she is encouraging it. if it extremely is orally whilst she feels that way be extremely mushy and mushy, it is so mushy at that factor is overwhelming and the lightest touch is sufficient to be waiting to allow pass and characteristic a great orgasm, possibly even diverse. it extremely is kinda complicated to describe despite the fact that if it merely feels rushed and quickly whilst there is to lots going on, slow and common makes you waiting to take excitement in the 2nd for as long because it could final, she would be able to talk each muscle contraction and honestly take excitement in the 2nd. wish this facilitates, each bodies diverse.
2016-11-24 21:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust may deepen and change everything. My sense on this is trust. Because when we trust someone completely, something very important opens inside of us and permits us to feel and experience everything to total fulfillment, including orgasm. Be with him and find ways to trust him more and more and one day you may both reach a place where you suddenly realize you trust him completely, even with your own orgasm.
2006-10-21 15:53:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your partner, maybe your so focused on it you wont let it happen. Stop focusing on it and for what I see on what you wrote you don't want to admit it could be a mental barrier, you have to face all aspects and being in my mid 30s we are at a age were we shouldn't have a problem being honest with ourselves. Avoidance can make it worse
2006-10-21 15:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by Alyssa C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look your about 2 get help by someone younger than you, you don't reach orgasms because when you masturbated you vision yourself coming but when you do it with your mate you just seem too focused on probably pleasing him so you do what he wants and not what you want, this is what you could, spend time making him or letting him give you oral sex, meanwhile he plays with your privates and let him fondle your rear with a finger meanwhile he orally pleases you meanwhile he plays with your clitoris and then when your about to climax make him stop and mount him, do it like i said, mount HIM, not him mounting you, you mount him.
2006-10-21 15:49:49 · answer #10 · answered by zkull_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should try some long slow foreplay before actually getting down to the nitty gritty....then relax and go with it....focus on the orgasm....it takes alot of hard work for a woman to reach a climax..she has to be fully relaxed and focused...good luck
2006-10-21 15:44:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋