Another guy question. .. see if you can figure it out. . .?

Question

Okay, here's the story my close friend and this guy used to date, I became close to him cause well they dated for a year, she left him, he's a wreak I thought he was getting better we used to talk all the time and now lately he won't really talk, and when he does talk to me its usually pretty depressing, he lost a parent last year as well so he's still getting over that, I think this may of pushed him over the edge, idk what to do he's my friend and I'm afraid of losing his friendship, I can't even really talk to him anymore its all really crappy, and I'm still friends with his ex who left him and she keeps messing with him *examples, writting him notes during class* though she'll make me deliver them. .. sigh :( THIS IS REALLY BUGGING ME SO PLEASE ANYONE CAN YOU HELP!

Answer 1

wow! i was sort of in that situation too, but my friend had gone through gangs also. well, i think that you should keep talking to him. make him feel like he's loved and that he still belongs. make him believe that at least 1 person out there still cares. and you seem like you do by posting this. because if he starts feeling that he's unloved, he might worsen into a huger emotional state, which could make him start cutting or think of suicidal thoughts. that's what my friend thought. /= so, if you keep by him and stick by his side, he'll be back to normal. it might not be quick, but he'll eventually get through this. picture yourself in his situation, wouldn't it be hard to get over if your parent had passed away. you may not be able to get over it in one day. and you have to realize that it may be hard for him too. and when your ex still messes with you, wouldn't that cause even more pain? and speaking of her, prevent her from hurting your other friend. you should stop delivering those notes and tell her how much it's effecting him. in my situation, it took me, what seemed like years to get my friend to cheer up. but it all paid off in the end, because my friend tells me that i really changed his life for the better, and that he'd probably be dead six feet under, if it wasn't for me. it makes me feel really appreciated. and if you don't stick by him, you might not have him for any longer. you should tell him to keep trying to get through life, because his parents would've wanted him to. just don't let him lose his life. hope i could help, good luck! :)

Answer 2

Give him some time and space. My friend is going through the same thing, except he dumped her because he needs some time to heal from losing a parent. Another thing is stop being the messenger of death by giving these notes to him because they might be sinking him into a deeper depression! Keep an eye out for him because you also don't want him to hurt himself or do something stupid.

Answer 3

Your guy friend is going thru some heavy emotional stuff right now and he seems to be shutting everyone out and this is normal I am sure he is still your friend but you need to respect what he is going thru losing a parent is a serious and sad time and if your girl friend has broken it off with him then she needs to respect his what he is dealing with and to stop writing him notes and you need to stop being her gopher do not put youself in that position again he may be upset with the fact that you are delivering these notes,,,,sureill

Answer 4

Tell your (girl) friend he going thru things and u no-longer want a part of her game. Believe it or not, if he is not a strong person he may try to kill himself. Let him know (write a note) that u want to be there for him to comfort him, but he has to let u. Don't become pushy though. Let him know everything is going to be okay. Try to relate to him, but don't make it seem like u know how he feels if u don't. Just speak from your heart.

Answer 5

Be patient with your guy friend... just let him know that you are there for him when he wants to talk and leave it at that. Don't push him into talking.
As for your girlfriend, she sounds pretty childish. If I were you I would be honest with her about how you feel. I would say something to her like "You are a really good but I don't like how you keep putting me in the middle of your relationship with (insert guys name). I'm trying to stay mutual and be friends with both of you so if you want to send him anymore notes you will have to do it yourself." Of course I would say it as sweetly as possible! :)
Good luck!