Why do people always think I'm a gay man?

Question

And then when I tell them I'm NOT, they INSIST that I AM!!! I mean, I think I'd know me better than anyone else. The truth is, I'm a female to male transsexual. So, I'm not sure if I should be flattered (because they think I'm a guy, just a gay one) or if I should be frustrated because it happens SO much. I don't even like going out to the gay clubs with my friends anymore cuz I get hit on by a gay guy EVERY time. Not that I'm homophobic towards gay men, PLEASE PLEASE don't get that impression. I'm very very gay friendly. However, I live in a very conservative place, Texas, to be exact, and it seems here with people, that if you are well educated, cultured, have good manners, treat people with respect, and speak in a slightly tenor range, and enjoy things like art, theatre, philosophy, fine wines and dining, and dress well that you MUST be gay. What should I do? I LIKE the fact that I like what I like, I don't want to be a typical guy, but I'd also like to attract a GIRL.

Answer 1

Well then stay away from gay bars that might help U

Answer 2

I think the comments some people (the ones that insist you are gay even tho you have told them otherwise)have said to you are very rude. It's really no ones business if another person is gay, str8, transgendered or anything. I am constantly surprised when I hear people asking incredibly personal questions. I think you have every right to go to a gay bar, but if you look like a man, then I think you should expect that people will assume you are gay. If you want to keep going to gay bars, all you have to say to a guy who shows interest in you is "no thanks, I'm not gay." Most gay men would presumably leave you alone at that point.

Answer 3

At first I was going to say you could move from Texas, but that would just be a cop-out. Just be yourself and live your life. If people insist you're gay, then you can continue to correct them until they get it, or you can move on. If people think your'e a guy, then you've obviously had a successful transition. Maybe you could hang out in straight venues, although I don't know what these are like in Texas. I hope this has been of some help. Bottom line - don't be too concerned what other people think. As you said, you know yourself better than anyone else.

Answer 4

I think if you stopped and read your question you could figure it out yourself....1. You are in gay clubs 2. You say your voice is in a slight tenor range....3. If you are in a gay bar who knows what you like as far as art, theater, philosophy, fine wines and dining, do you carry a sign? I am not bashing you, however I used to have a butch lesbian friend...She wore men's clothes (she said they fit better), a mans watch and talked with a deep voice (this she could not help) and got mad when people called her "sir". Why cannot you not just say you are not interested? And haven't you posted this question in here before?

Answer 5

You cannot change your interests and having good manners and enjoying art, theatre and philosophy is a characteristic of a gentleman. But if you really want to socialize with men (straight ones especially), you've got develop certain other interests too such as sports, politics. Now if you've been a girl for most of your life, this might be a difficult task but hey, I guess you're living a difficult situation right now so it's worth a try. I'm a girl (a straight one) and basically I share interests of the guys but have an awesome friends group of girls. You also need to learn the mannerisms of guys you know, like walking and talking like a guy, gesturing like a guy. Just give it a try, I know it's hard but you've got to live as a man for the rest of your life so you need to get a li'l macho!! All the best!

Answer 6

You know you're not gay. Who cares what other people think? There are a lot of straight guys that get hit on by gay men. Just tell them you like women. I don't think Texas is very open-minded. Let people think what they want. There isn't much you can do. Gay clubs are meat markets. So I'm sure any man would get hit on if they go to the gay club. Just be flattered that they are attracted to you. Then quickly tell them you don't dig guys.

Answer 7

Female to male transsexual are relatively rare but there is an increasing number of them. I notice that they tend to come to live in suburb area far from the big city. Its an characteristic that lesbians also tend to share. By opposite gay man usually love the big city and the bars.

I also notice that FTM(female to male transsexual) because they can't produce natural male hormone they tend to look like effeminate Gay man. They also unintentionally keep old female habit they had since they were little girl. For example many of them wear ear Ring. Real man notice that very easy, especially the bigot one.

Most FTM cannot hide their height because hormones unfortunately only change the appearance. We all know that the average eighth for north American man is over 5"8 so it is hard for a petite woman to become a grown man that easy. Perhaps in china you could be unseen but not here.

Now, concerning the MTF(Male to female transsexual), they are the most common type of transsexual and by opposition from the FTM who look like gay man, some FTM can look like lesbian dyke because of their manly face feature and their height. A lot of lesbian are attracted to transsexual because of the androgynous attitude they have.

I think the world is very big and Texas is just a tiny part of it. I know you love Texas but if I was you, I would just fly out of there to a place where man are less white Macho cowboy chauvenistic type. I think Asian coulntrrry would be perfect for you and asian woman are less demanding for tall man. Asian man are usualy the same heigh as you and look effeminate if we see them with north american standard. am sure all you need is to move out of there thats all.

Answer 8

Maybe you are too feminine to be a guy and too butch to be a girl. Also, it it less common to be a female to male trans, so people wouldnt make the right guess at once.
If it doesnt offend you to begin with, then I dont think you should put your self in the process of deciding "whether you should be flattered or frustrated." If you can get girls, (there are lesbian clubs too) then I dont see why you should worry.

Answer 9

I guess in one way, you could be flattered that they recognize you as a guy, albeit a gay one (especially since gay men have hit on you in gay bars) people are stupid and easily freaked out by what they don't understand. people are freaked out by gays/lesbians, but I think a lot more of them are more confused by transsexuals. they confuse us both. they think gays/lesbians want sex changes, and think trans are gay. you know who you are and you shouldn't give a crap what they think. It's taken a while, but I try not to worry about their opinions anymore. be yourself, be happy, and I hope you find a nice girl soon!

Answer 10

It's just that most people have had little to no experince with transsexuals and are confused by the term (I have met transsexuals, but M to F).

Also, what may have gone though your head with this situation is beyond what many can honestly comprehend.

Answer 11

From your Answers profile:
"About Me: I like coffeeshops, reading, bookstores, philosophy, meditation circles, metaphysics, group protests, feminism, debates, hippie communes, healthcare related jobs, lots of stuff."

Hmmm...I wonder why people think you're a gay guy...