We are not intimate. We argue all the time. The only thing keeping us from separating are the kids. Some people say that is a good thing to stay together because of them and some people say we are doing more harm than good. What should I do? We have already done the counseling thing, didn't work. HELP!
2006-10-21 14:51:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am in the exact same situation. I have decided since i have a big enough house and there is mutual respect between us he stays in onr room me in the other. we are seperated soon to b divorced but close for are 2 yr olds sake and we are freindsly to eachother. I realized i shouldn't live a life with passion and happiness.Life is short and ur kids will see u miserable and unhappy ans u dont want that. they will learn from there parents on how realtionships work and if arguing is what they see it isn't healthy. Try to remain good friends afterall there was something u liked about eachother to get married to begin with so use that as a stepping stone for a strong freindship but move on and live.good luck
2006-10-21 14:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing that I would suggest you do it find a babysitter for the kids for the weekend (if you can) and leave on a Friday afternoon and go to a hotel where you both can be alone and talk. But before you go- both of you need to write down what you think the problems are in the relationship. If you want it to work- you both have to be willing to make compromises otherwise you mine-as-well divorce. You the two stay together and continute the way you do- you are only hurting your babies! Just imagine what they think and feel when the 2 people they love the most are fighting. Good luck!
2006-10-21 21:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that staying together "for the kids" does more harm than good and thats because my parents got divorced when I was 6, and before that it was absolutely horrible, but afterwards it wasgreat. we saw my dad all the time and they got along so much better just as friends or even acquantences and we didnt have to hear them fight, or sense their negative body language towards eachother, because kids do notice those things :( Im sorry, I wish I could help, maybe you should try a different counsellor/therapist/psychiatrist, because Im a strong believer in people saving the marriages.
You should read the book "The five love languages" it's very helpful, too
2006-10-21 21:59:08 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. O'Neill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned you had already done the counselling thing, but does it mean that you have applied the counsellor's advice in your marriage. Perhaps it might need an extended time to fully see the results. Because healing in broken relationship does not only takes few hours in few sessions. Restoration of love relationship will depend upon willingness and determination from both of you. If there is a will, then there is a way.
2006-10-21 22:22:55 · answer #4 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then just move on because I know it's sad, but the fact is relationships don't last. Maybe you will find someone that will make you happier. Also if you seperate, if it's meant to be, you and yoour spouse will get back together. Maybe you need a break just to see what exactly makes you happy and what decisiion is really right for the both of you?
2006-10-21 22:16:39 · answer #5 · answered by Venus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should seperate first....and if you don't miss each other enough to work things out...divorce...maybe you guys just got on each other's nerves ...with work and raising kids...it 's a struggle...you probably should try taking a weekend off together ...get a relative to babysit...go to a neighboring city...enjoy the sights, take time out to enjoy each others' company....without all the stress of your daily lives....maybe you guys just to remember why you feel in love the first time around.
2006-10-21 22:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by D.E.O.N. Sphinxxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if every day is a living hell than just leave. your kids will adjust to the break up as long as they are assured that its not their fault and both of you love them . sometimes you just have to take a chance and pray that it'll work out for all parties involved
2006-10-21 22:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by mikki n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave now before you've wasted your whole life. The kids and yourself will be better off in the end.
2006-10-21 21:53:49 · answer #8 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both should go and find some **** buddies and maybe if you fall in love with the other person get a divorce but go and find **** buddies I am telling you life is too short
2006-10-21 22:03:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave everyone will be happier. Especially the kids
2006-10-21 21:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by multiflowercolour 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋