I got married at the wrong time. I fell in love with my best friend. When he told me he did not have the same feelings for me and rubbed it in my face by flirting with another girl I guess i lost my mind. Shortly after that happened I meant a guy. It was only supposed to be a one weekend thing to help me get over the hurt. But He asked me to married him and two months later I was married. I don't love my husband and know it was a big mistake. I moved to be with my husband and even quit my job. I told him about 3 weeks ago why I married him and he wants to work on it knowing full well I don't love him. I really want to try but I don't want to hurt him because I don't think I love him or ever will be able to. I need some help. This is destroying me.
2006-10-21
14:40:54
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22 answers
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asked by
babydove1821
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
he does know that I don't love him but he is still willing to try. I feel guilty so I stay but I also feel like I want to run.
2006-10-21
14:50:12 ·
update #1
I have been married since August. Yes it is destroying me because I don't want to hurt him and I feel like I will no matter what I do. I don't want to be selfish I just don't want to make him hate me. I am so mad at myself that I am taking it out on him. He knows that I am not happy with my decision but he still wants me to hang on and try. I am not worried about me cuz I know that I can pick up and start over. I am worried about him.
2006-10-21
15:01:33 ·
update #2
I'm so sorry that's happening to you. I understand you perfectly because something similar happened to me. I just stayed with my husband for a while and he showed me the wonderful person he is....I can tell you that now (with 2 kids) I love him a lot. The other guy sounds like he doesn't really loves you, so just forget about him and don't day dream about him (that happened to me a lot). Please understand that we are humans and we make mistakes....yours was to rush up to marry somebody but something good can happen after all. Give it time, don't have babies meanwhile. Be patient and hold on. Good luck.
2006-10-21 14:51:42
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answer #1
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answered by dandelion 1
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I don't understand. Why are you pining for a man who'd never love you while you willingly give up on another who'd die for you? Finding a guy who loves you and wants to marry you is like stumbling upon a piece of precious gem.
Whatever you've done so far had been an act of impulse after another. Do you think you've been too impulsive to conclude that you'll never love your husband? Give him some time and spare him a well deserving chance. He may not be hot like your best friend, but he's also not breaking your heart by openly flirting with another girl.
Part of the reason why you think things will never work out with your husband is because you secretly harbour hope of getting back with your best friend. You should be realistic. He openly flirted with another girl to hurt you. If a guy does that, he's probably trying really hard to get rid of you.
2006-10-21 14:49:23
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answer #2
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answered by citrusy 6
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You didnt get married at the wrong time, you got married to the wrong person for all the wrong reasons and my flippant personality wants to tell you- too bad you knew what you where doing and you are sooooo wrong and karma is a mofo...maybe you should stay in the marriage because you got what you asked for. BUT MY LOGICAL HEAD IS SAYING...you have the absolute right to be happy, we all do. Hopefully you have learned a lesson from this and will start to make better choices in your life regarding your happiness. You should be honest about your feelings with the man you married and get out of the marriage as soon as possible, no sense in putting him through hell because you made a dumb decision, he has already gotten more negative than he deserves from you.You've made the wrong choice and you want out, I know you reflect his in your daily living and people that do this are miserable and are sharing their misery, and that cant be good for anybody can it? With that said, be aware that Karma, really is a MoFo and you will get this back one way or another. You dont just go willy nilly in and out of peoples lives with intentions like you had...its just plan stupid and selfish. Give the man back his freedom so he can have a worthwhile love, it would be a sin to steal his happiness...he didnt do anything to you to deserve that, you did.
2006-10-21 14:58:44
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answer #3
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answered by stephanie_6234 6
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well, you really made a huge mistake, marring him for the wrong reasons. Now, you should try to work things out, there is a chance that you fall in love with him, see....things happen for a reason, everything in our lives has its purpose, you will learn something about this circumstance, but family is also very important, and marriage is a big part of starting a family, look deep inside you and think if that is what you really want right now, forget about the reason why you got married in the first place, concentrate on what you want to do from now on, is it try to form a family with you current husband? is he the man who you want to share the rest of your life? Do you imagine him as the father of your children? well...may be you are not in love with him right now, but love is a very complicated thing, and it could flourish . And if you think that you can't deal with this, talk to him and walk away, that you still can find your prince charming. Good Luck!!
2006-10-21 14:55:08
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answer #4
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answered by fun 6
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Destroying you???? Wow, that's the most self centered remark I've seen so far on this website...what about what you've done to him....he loves you or he wouldn't have married you...what the heck were you thinking!??! You totally disregarded this man's emotions and life, like he was a non person.... you married him, moved to his new location, gave up your job and you don't love him just a little...come on now...why in world would you do this for some one you DON"T love??? There's something else here you're keeping secret...You've done all this and there's nothing in your heart for him??? What does got married at the wrong time mean...you need to give more if anyone is truly going to help you.
2006-10-21 14:52:56
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answer #5
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answered by crkristy 2
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Oh stop being a cry-infant. you're a grown guy no longer a newborn. you have responsiblities. you could the two inspect your difficulty as "glass 0.5 empty" or "glass 0.5 finished" that is undesirable top now reason you're letting or no longer that is that way. Do something new and diverse with your spouse. deliver the little ones to grandmas for a night and take your spouse to a Dave & Busters, pass to a action picture, pass to work out a stay overall performance, stay at a mattress N Breakfast. Do something out of the conventional. you could the two walk around being indignant which you're no longer attending to "play" up on your single acquaintances or be happy which you have a ideal kin and a spouse that loves you who would be there for you whilst your mothers and fathers bypass away, once you get sick, once you have any down time in life. The ball is on your court docket. choose which you will shop your loved ones and don't evaluate something yet that. stay massive!!
2016-10-15 06:57:30
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answer #6
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answered by ? 4
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Sounds like you got married on the rebound. Everyone makes mistakes and if your heart isn't in the marriage it's better to leave now than later. Hopefully your husband will understand and you can still get along after.
You only live once. You made a mistake that can be corrected and you can learn from it.
The only other option is therapy for the two of you, but I wouldn't do it if you do not love him.
2006-10-21 14:45:00
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answer #7
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answered by shakopcool 3
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You married him. You are fulfilled a promise to be with him through sickness and through health til do you part. You at least need to see if there is any spark there. If you stay in there and try and to work it out and it doesn't work out between y'all then don't feel like it was your fault. You've at least got to try. If you don't try then you ll never know what could have happened between you two you can lie to everyone else around you but you cant lie to yourself there will always be this voice in the back of your mind asking you what you could have done to make it work. Just stick in there at least you can say you tried.
2006-10-21 15:12:25
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Too late . You can't undo what you have done. You're married and you have to stick to that idea. Almost anyone I know had said that they made a mistake when they got married, that includes me. But you know, it does not matter if you love him or not, because marriage is binding for life. Try to find ways that will make your marriage works for the sake of your children in the future and for your own good.
2006-10-21 14:50:04
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answer #9
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answered by dtmc542006 3
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You have to do what's best for you. You messed up, and hurt someone in the process, but things like that happen. He will be okay, let it go and start over, and make decisions with a clear mind from now on!!
2006-10-21 14:44:02
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answer #10
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answered by DumBlonD 4
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