i married a girl who i found out was never faithful who do i get over this pain?

Question

my wifes bestfriend just reaveled to me my girlfriend of 9 yrs wife of one mother of two was never faithful sexualy she cheated on me three times with no guilt i never know she was able to do this our new baby was only 2yrs how do i get over this how do i give her my trust back or is it over we just bought a house too i cant give up everything i worked so hard to get any advice would be nice

Answer 1

First of all, this may hurt -- but you really need to know if the babies are yours biologically or another man's -- and you need to get the DNA Testing done right away.

When you find out the answers to the parentage of the two children -- then you need to work on the relationship -- and SHE needs to make some major life changes if your marriage hopes to survive the infidelity.

Answer 2

DON'T get a divorce.

You have to ask yourself what the motivation was of the person who told you this.
What is the relationship you have with her best friend if she revealed this to you?
If she said that about your wife, how do you know the details or the situation when it's coming from someone with spite?

Confront your wife and work it out.
You need to keep the relationship together if you are both willing to cooperate for the sake of your kid.
I would say to have her tell you her version, if she admits it at all, and then you should decide to forgive her and try to work it out.

Remember, Divorce will mean heartbreak for all, stress that will take about five years off your life and it will mean CERTAIN FINANCIAL DEVISTATION FOR ALL for a questionable period of time-- If you EVER manage to break free of it.--
You will get over it, it may take a year or two, but you'll forget and forgive, your relationship might even get better, believe it or not.
Seek some counceling if things get really bad.
Do whatever you can to salvage the marriage. Believe me it's worth it.
Don't put too much into monogomy.... Really, after all we are all frikin animals.
A disturbance in our 'moral' sensibilities is not worth ruining your life over-- AND the lives of others....namely your child(ren).

Answer 3

First of all, did she admit to this. You say her friend told you this. Why is her friend telling you this kind of stuff about her? Is she telling the truth or may she be interested in you, or maybe an alterior motive. You need to communicate with your wife and find out what is truly going on. Tell her you only want honesty. If it is true you may want to seek marriage counseling to find out why she felt the need to do this. Otherwise, I would find out. I would never trust what someone outside of your marriage is telling you. Unfortunately there are envious people out there that may try to put things in your head just to see that your marriage doesn't work. Believe me, I know.

Answer 4

you never regain that trust, but since u have children, and just bought a home, you need to try and get her to agree to go to counciling, and try to salvage it. my dad went through the same thing many years ago,mom was cheating, dad would not let her go, plus the man gave up when confronted,but the marriage was never the same. mom always felt dad had stopped her and ruioned her life. so we really can't control others, or what they choose to do.if you can't salvage it than get out of it and know that this situation had nothing to do with you and everything to do with her and him.

Answer 5

I think that you need to give up and live your life to the fullest. If she can cheat 3 times then she never loved you. You should really let her know how you feel. And how bad she hurted you.

Answer 6

the first question i would be asking myself if i where you is, is the child really mine. was she involved with the other man when she conceived. if so she can not hit you with child support. and if she does not respect the relationship to be faith full to you. i would say she sees you as a means to an end. a meal ticket. not as the man you are. i know my first wife was like your wife.

Answer 7

I think it would help for you to talk about your problems with someone in order to help you deal with it. You, yourself, should consider seeking counseling and well as you and your spouse together seek counseling. I am guessing there are some underlying issues that have not been delt and this may help you both reconnect. Good luck!

Answer 8

Dude you've got cart blanch to cheat.

Answer 9

You can start over.
It is impossible to gain trust back, which has been destroyed.
Pull yourself together and move on.