I wrote this poem for my grandpa and my friend. My grandpa died last year on the morning of my birthday and my friend died 2 days later just after my grandpa's funeral from cancer! I just wanted some opinions on it. I've been writing poems since I was in the 7th grade. I'm now 26. I posted this poem before and for some reason it got deleted for being innapropriate or some crap like that!!! Anyhow, what do you think?
Life Strings
Death seems to surround me
as the bullet flaps it's wings
Someone keeps disconnecting
everyone's life strings
Confusion fills the distance
there and gone is the instance
Pain that suffers
is deceased
Souls that linger
now released
The name in the sky
calling you down
Go to the everlasting
daily routines now distracting
Suffer is ending
peace be instilled
Silence and light
fills the golden heart
Departing from within us
to end here and go there
A peaceful new start
only away
2006-10-21 14:24:16 · 16 answers · asked by slip2eternity 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It's very good.
2006-10-21 14:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by Celebrity girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so beautiful. I know how you feel. My cousin's bf and her were together for almost 7 years and he died in a car accident about a year ago. Then I found out that my aunt pat died from lung disease. :[ This is a very beautiful poem!
2006-10-21 14:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by Haley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me a poem has to have rhythm. It would not unavoidably ought to rhyme notwithstanding it desires to hit my thoughts. i imagine readability of expression is necessary besides. i do not elect to 2d wager what i'm interpreting about. I continuously seek for what I time period "poetic gemstones"contained in the textual content.
2016-10-16 05:52:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom and Sister within three months of each other this year.
Very good poem, you are a good writer!
2006-10-21 14:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by shakopcool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's grrrreat! If I were you, I'd publish it...you never know. Try to publish it to the Toronto Star....They usually have non-sense poems on Sunday.
2006-10-21 14:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by Farmbasket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like it, it bring so much feeling and emotion. Good job, it sounds so professional, although I doubt it is, because I've never heard it before (LOL). Great job.
2006-10-21 14:25:56 · answer #6 · answered by tayrose93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wonderful-
I believe you might check into composition- take some english classes at the local community college- and if you like it- then proceed into a lit. major. You never know- til you try!!
2006-10-21 14:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by tbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buuutifull! You've got talent girlfriend! Ever thought about publishing that poem?
2006-10-21 14:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not really what you'd call a poem kind of guy, but i like what you've written...stay with it
2006-10-21 14:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by eddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Loved It.
2006-10-21 16:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋