with a married co-worker. The day I found out is also the same day he left. He came home from work as normal and said he needs space, rest and time to think and was going to stay at his sisters for little while. I was upset but helped him put couple items in his truck and at the same time I retrieved the hidden voice activated recorder I had put there day before. Sure enough I was sickened over what I heard. It was their plan that he and girlfriend had made about when to leave their spouses and I heard it with my own two ears. To this day he denies that is reason why he left and he did not have a plan. He also stopped his pay check from direct deposit 10 days eariler I later discovered. Why does he continue to lie?
2006-10-21 13:57:09 · 24 answers · asked by Gettcha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he lies so he will not have to be accountable, or take responsibility for this.yes it's always done behind our backs they plot and plan and when the time is just right they leave, cause it's already been worked out between them.how upset it is to the one abandoned and betrayed,how we search for answars, and really there isn't any. this is who he is, and who she is, be glad he is gone and be glad that you won't have to put up with it anymore. my husband was cheating with a coworker also, he acted perfectly normal until her hubby had left and the coast was clear. 3 years later and a divorce behind me, i am confident i made the right choice,at first i did not know what to do, infact all i did at first was sit and cry and feel sorry for me. when all is said and done and you don't allow this kind of disrespect,atleast you can say you kept your dignity. all this was pre planned as it was also done to me this way.my ex was going to his mother's house for awhile he said. he lies cause he doesn't want confronted,he knows what he did was wrong but he is not willing to change his mind, or make things different.
2006-10-21 14:46:15 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is never going to admit anything and he will continue to lie to you as well. I have been in this type of situation and have listened to and heard the lies he has told his wife. I have no doubt he loves her but I also have no doubt he loves me as well.
The big question I am asking myself and I would suggest you ask yourself regardless of the words he speaks what are you willing to accept in your life? Do you want someone who is not there for you 100% and are you willing to live always questioning what is really going on?
I love this man and truly regret the pain I know it is causing or would cause those around us. But I would never nor will he truly admit what is happening as not to cause more pain than is necessary.
Please only think about you and what is best for you. He obviously is doing that and he doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the truth but all the signs are there anyway.
I wish you the best this is tough -- I know.
2006-10-22 17:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's face it . You know what you know and to try to get him to admit it is pointless. He was not a man most of all he was stupid to have an affair on the job. That is one of the last places you want to have an affair. If things go wrong you see the person everyday it is still like a marriage. you are so better off. You have to get over this so you won't give negative vibes to a good man that wants to be real to you and his manhood and not play little boy games.
2006-10-21 21:07:25 · answer #3 · answered by barbie2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let him go. he will only keep on hurting you. it is better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all. if he left, you for her, then it is probably for the best. divorce him. if he has this track record already of lying to you, he will continue to do so. and to deny it when you clearly heard the undeniable evidence with your own ears, is an insult. he is playing mind games with you. if you don't want to take that drastic route you could try counseling, but I think you should get out while you can
2006-10-21 21:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a loser a jerk you need to go file for a divorce not sit and wait for him to come back its not worth the heartache and pain he continues to lie because he thinks he is saving your feelings but he has already hurt you by leaving you and he just doesn't want to admit he is an a**hole move on with your life he has
2006-10-21 21:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men will never admit even if they are caught redhanded. Amazing how they do that! It would be hard to trust him again especially if he denies what you have discovered. It's up to you if you can continue living with him in spite and despite of what he has done. But if you'd ask me, i'd file for a divorce. gd luck
2006-10-21 21:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by Milie88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rule is to never admit to anything... my guess is that he said he was not happy and you ignored it. If I am mistaken, forgive me, then he is not worth worrying about and move on. Either way, make sure you get counceling and support. The only way to keep anyone is to meet thier needs... whatever they are... plain and simple... you can't get them to change them.
sorry for your pain...
oh, the only reason I mentioned that he probably said he was unhappy was so that in future relationships you see the signs before they go too far.
2006-10-21 21:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mindlessfun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you felt a need to record secretly, he is probably not for you anyway. Trust IS ESSENTIAL in any good solid relationship. Yeah, watch the money, where it moves or doesn't can sometimes tell what is happening, sometimes not. Lying is not good, at least the kind that involves untruths.
2006-10-21 21:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was caught red-handed, and doesn't want to admit it. You have all the proof you need right there on tape. He lies now, and will continue to lie....cause that's what liars do! Leave him, and take him to the cleaners! Contact a lawyer Monday morning.
2006-10-21 21:02:20 · answer #9 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an ***. Take the tape recorder to your lawyer and don't forget to send a copy to the slu#% ex hubby.
He lies because he is too chicken to tell the truth and not man enough.
2006-10-21 23:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋