my soon to be ex husband, having an affair then moved out leaving me with 2 kids?
2006-10-21 12:54:07 · 16 answers · asked by Gettcha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we never seem to think we will be able to make it through something like this,it seems to be the only thing we can think of, and we wonder if it's just all a bad dream, but it's real and it hurts and it takes real courage to get through it, it's something we must go through and there aren't any easy ways out of it, just time and distance will help. do we get a divorce or do we wait it out,well i was one who refused to be disrespected like that, i was one who got a divorce, i left with my dignity, which in the end means more than trying to change a man who you have no control over, who has his own free will, and who has shown his true character to you. the way to find out what he is made of is to see what a man does when there are problems.if he cuts and runs than he is just a coward, and would never be around when you really need him anyway.
2006-10-21 13:31:14 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is easy to say MOVE ON but I know it is not that easy. I have been thru this kind of grief and I still haven't recovered from it. I sort of accepted it but I still think of him and wish we were together. Praying is the best thing, God will never leave you if you ask Him to watch over you and your children. I don't know how much love you feel for your husband but that is one of the most devasting wound a woman can ever experience. I sympathise with you and I truly hope you find peace and healing. Don't jump into another relationship. This could ruin your life. Just stay calm and understand that the pain will fade away some day. It may take longer, but believe me, it will fade away little by little and only the scars will remain. It does take time and work. THe best medication is for you to find a job and go to the Gym, go out with the kids but not to the places you used to go with your husband. Start afresh. Get help, go to Church, don't watch romantic movies, don't get fat, you know, many women have the tendency to eat a lot as an outlet. Do the opposite. Get a new hair cut, make yourself pretty as much as you can, despite the hurt and GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-21 13:23:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job, go back to school, get a career. In other words, have Plan B. It is never easy, but there are no guarantees in life. And for sure, marriage and divorce are just one of those things that is not guaranteed. The only nice thing? It is unlikely that the lady he is with now will be the one he ends up with. And, sweetie, there is some comfort in that. In the mean time, get your act together, get a career, and start to feel good about yourself......
2006-10-21 13:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl let me tell ya I went through the same thing. I was happy he was gone. Me and my girls did better without him ne way. I divorced him in dec 2004. He hardly ever calls and when he does he just pisses me off. Like today he called the girls . He called them while he was in jail and told them he would come and get them and help me out sometimes. Well he has been out of jail 2 weeks now and they just get a call today he talks to one of them for 2 minutes and says tell your sis hi and i love her and I know he heard her in theback ground saying let me talk to daddy. He just hung up. I called him back and said dont you ever call here again you just hurt my girls yeah my girls only i have taken care of them for 9 years on my without his help. and i hung up if he cared at all then he would have called back nope he didnt. Anyway tell the kids that this is for the best that dad and mom are not together. Go have a girls night out. youve been tied down, have fun for a while you deserve it. Dont feel guilty, me and my sis-n-law divorced brothers and we went out every weekend lived a little, no drugs and no more than 2 drinks. You need to take a deep breath and say ok i am single now i am gonna live a little, think on the bright side, no big dinners to fix anymore, no more of his big laundry to do.Get the kids some easy meals to eat like 99cents Michalena meals, The girls loved them, and they can fix them on there on. Hey you are single, you will find another good man, I believe that it is so much better to have another man to help you get over him, start off very slow slow though. Live a little girl have fun. Take the kids to the cheap movies, spend the time that you had to spend on him with the kids. Make a plan or schedule for m-sunday for meals chores laundry days.
2006-10-21 13:38:24 · answer #4 · answered by jjkk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was going to say keep busy but you have 2 children which would take quite a large amount of time. I assume you are not ready to get into the dating scene, if you are not go out with some friends and enjoy yourself talk with people on yahoo chat from different parts of the world this I find different and amusing most of the time
2006-10-21 13:01:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not going to be easy so find someone you trust that has been through something similar to talk to. It won't hurt like this forever. Be careful not to rush into a relationship with hope of finding comfort. Show your children that you love them and will always be there for them, they also hurt, even if they don't always show it. Good luck and best wishes. You're stronger than you think.
2006-10-21 13:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by w9cruser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time, but in reality -- just remember this -- YOU will no longer be exposed to the diseases this traitor of an ex brings to your home and your bed.
It is also far better for your children to see ONLY a responsible parent -- and to NOT see you treated as a doormat!
2006-10-21 13:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE PROBLEM WITH THAT IS WHEN THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED YOU NEVER REALLY GET OVER IT, I KNOW BECAUSE I HAVE A KID AND HER FATHER LEFT ALSO.YOU WILL BE UPSET BECAUSE HE GOT TO PICK UP AND START OVER WHEN YOU ARE STUCK TRYING TO PUT A PUZZLE BACK TOGETHER THAT YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIX THE BEST WAY TO GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE IS TO PRAY EVERY DAY FOR STRING AND WISDOM WHEN EVER YOU THINK ABOUT HAT A**HOLE PRAY WHEN EVER YOUR CHILDREN ASK ABOUT HIM PRAY.....GET SOME TIME FOR YOUR SELF AND EXERCISE GET YOUR BODY RIGHT SO WHEN YOU ARE READY TO GO BACK INTO THE WORLD YOU WON'T HAVE ANYTHING HOLDING YOU BACK BECAUSE IF YOU SHUT DOWN YOUR EX WINS AND DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN IT IS HARD WHEN YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR YOUR CHILDREN !!!!!!
2006-10-21 13:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by cody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buck up and make changes in your life so that you don't end up in this same situation again. He is a loser, now you are the backbone of your family, the kids will figure this out when they are older. Let your kids know that is wasn't them that it was their father who caused the problems.
Good Luck
2006-10-21 13:16:01 · answer #9 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just gotta suck it up girl - do what you have to do to make you and your kids happy - you'll see its really alot better after a while - may have to toughen up some, but well worth it in the end.and as far as him seeing someone - (didnt you expect that?) deal with it - she'll probably hurt him for you soon - it always happens that way, just lay low and watch....
2006-10-21 12:59:09 · answer #10 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋