I have a son and he'll be 3 in December...he has a little brother who is six months old and I think he's still jealous of his little brother. I take time out for my oldest and I and we even have "family" time together with all three of us. I'm doing the single parenting thing because my husband left...but he's a great dad and comes around when he can. Well my oldest is trying to beat up on his little brother and he doesn't want to share or anything like that. SOmetimes he's great with his little brother...but other times he's not and I'm really at my wits end for what to do about him. He's going into a phase where he doesn't want to listen to a think I do and time outs and talkting to him don't seem to work. Any suggestions from other parents out there who are going through or have been through simalier situations would be a BIG help. I'm really doing the best I can at splitting my time equally bettween my two sons...how do mothers with 3 or 4 children do it?? Any real advice??
2006-10-21 12:52:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I REFUSE to hit my child with anything...violence never solved anything. Yes I've had spankings in my lifetime and I respect my mother and I think she is a great woman....but I don't see how a spanking taught me anything except that it HURTS!!!
2006-10-21 12:58:29 · update #1
He doesn't beat on his little brother...he takes boys from him and when he's crying he hollers in his face and things like that. I'm having more of a problem with him listening to me than I am with him being mean to his little brother...because I can put the baby in the pack and play and my oldest can't reach him. I know it's not fair to the baby to stay in there so when he does come out I watch them very carefully.
2006-10-21 13:02:17 · update #2
You are expierencing the early phases of sibling rivalry. If you have any brothers or sisters you might recall the battles you got into with them. I remember the battles with my younger sister, she still tries to battle now that we're adults, I ignore her. Keep up with the time outs, please don't start chaning disciplining habits because that will only confuse the poor child. He is actually behaving in the manner most 3 year olds behave. Eventually when the younger child gets older he will learn to "fight back" and defend himself. Then you can tell them to take it outside because you don't want blood on the carpet.
2006-10-21 13:34:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he is going to be Jealous, he was the baby himself up until the last 6 months, now someone has taken his place as baby. I don't however believe it is a problem "directely" related to his jeolousy. Perhaps to some degree, but It is more of a natural reaction for all children in that age group and above.
Six months old is simply too small to be alone with any child of any age group, even a 9, 10,12,year old would be too rough and too immature to understand it ...to be left alone with a 6 month old.
The only solution for a six month old is to watch him at all times. I guess what I'm saying is , your 3 yr old is not the problem, he will grow out of whatever he is doing.
Let them spend time together only when you are there to keep and eye on them and teach him to love his brother, let him pet him and kiss him , show him that this is his little baby too by letting him hold the bottle and feed the baby or brush his/her hair.
It's natural and very common, nothing wrong with your son, Just watch him...Eliminate the opportunities for him to hurt or bother the baby. In so doing you will eliminate the reasons for having to discipline your 3 yr old because of the baby. This should help remove some of the jealousy. If he is being scolded for bothering the baby, he may begin to see the baby as a source of his distress. Which won't help the matter, but make it worse.
Bless your heart, you sound like a good mommy for being concerned enough to ask the question.
2006-10-21 20:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's jealous of his brother I think he is just really really angry and taking it out on whoever he can..thus the brother becomes the victim of his rage. Try having some one and one time with him where someone else takes the baby..in other words, your ex and you have to try spending some quality time with just him, and see if it helps. Kids get so upset when their parents separate and that's just how he is handling it. So, take turns taking just the three year old on special trips or outings, and maybe that will help him feel more important, and also talk to him in easy to understand terms about his Dad leaving, I am sure he is confused and upset about this and doesn;t know how to express it. Good luck.
2006-10-21 19:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by blondambition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kid is abusive! You need to stop that right away and stop making excuses (jealousy is not an reason, it is a sorry excuse!!)and you have let him control you with it long enough...every time he harms the other child there should be a sure discipline immediately imposed! dont be soft and dont let him get away with it not one more time, or else you will have a monster on your hands the older he gets....stick to it Mom, and I stress that because we as mothers always feel as if we are too hard on our boys....trust me, you WILL create a monster if you dont get control of this right now!
2006-10-21 19:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by tpoke24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
belts they work everytime
2006-10-21 19:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋