I have been married for 3 painful years to someone I have grown to dislike very, VERY much. I'm going to leave her in the next couple of months....Shall I spring it on her and move out quickly or expect her to go our seperate ways in peace
2006-10-21 12:31:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cant wait until I am FREE of her....I'm soooo Glad I got fixed so I could not have any kids just before I married her. I have planned for awhile now so this should be a clean break.
I will sing MLK's song "Free at last, Free at last....Thank God Almighty I'm free at last!"
2006-10-21 12:42:32 · update #1
BTW, yes I did get my finances in order...everything payed off, no joint nothing and I quietly sold things to reduce what I need to bring...
2006-10-21 12:44:43 · update #2
Freeze your credit, close your accounts, and try to pay everything off. Then you might not get hurt too bad in the divorce.
2006-10-21 12:34:21 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first guy is right. You have to create a plan. Get your finances in order, quietly and quickly. Once all that is done, try to have a peaceful, non-confrontational, logical talk with her. Give her some terms, and don't leave her flat out with nothing. Tell her you'd like to see her happy, and you are obviously not the one that can do that for her, and your outlook on her isn't very bright for your happiness.
If waiting to get your financial affairs in order is not possible, then maybe you need to evaluate how you are failing your marriage instead of the marriage failing you.
I obviously don't know all the details, but it seems when the finances are cleaned up, a marriage tends to fall neatly back into place.
2006-10-21 19:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you live in a community property state? With your attitude you'd better hope not because even if you don't she might be entitled to half of what you made on the sale of the things you sold "in secret", simply because you sold them in secret. Under community property laws it doesn't matter whether her name is on any of the items YOU own, or if she is on any bank accounts that you have. If she is smart and has a smart lawyer they can do a "discovery" for any accounts owned by you under your social (even if they're not in the U.S.) and she is entlted to half of any of it. She is also entitled to part of your retirement pay from your job when you retire she will be able to get funds for the amount of time she was married to you while you worked for your employer. How you leave her is up to you...but it takes at least 6 months for a non-contested divorce to go through the courts...sometimes longer. So I suggest you brace yourself for more pain.
2006-10-21 20:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you stay a couple more months?
Go get out the door quit using her.
Why delay any longer move, go, get out, their is such a thing as hotels so go find one, let her get on with her life and you with yours, nothing you do is going to make it better so leave.
Hope your not sleeping with her, you probably are just because you seem to think see owes you something.
2006-10-21 20:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife before you take off and explain to her why you are leaving. I caught my husband running around the house gathering things when he didn't expect me home. It took two weeks and me finding him before I knew what was going on You should at least act like an adult and not just take off with no explanation
2006-10-21 19:37:22 · answer #5 · answered by bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you guys are just growing apart and it isnt fair for you two to not be in love but still be together. this will open a lot more doors to date new people that might be more interrested in her than you are. be very peaceful and kind about it. good luck! ;)
2006-10-22 17:27:16 · answer #6 · answered by Katie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sence your mind is so well made up there. i think you should 1st get all your plans made out and a place lined up to go to. make a quick get away , because once you tell her , it will be a living hell for you. or you have to see her in tears or worse fist flying...
have your things packed an ready for go! good luck , may you find happiness for yourself.
2006-10-21 20:51:49 · answer #7 · answered by ~just_jd~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God you're gonna leave her, Who wants a man like you around!!!
2006-10-21 19:35:15 · answer #8 · answered by nemraC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well depending on her nature u better be ready to move out quick just in case she takes IT the wrong way
2006-10-21 19:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by william s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to leave - leave now. If you have made up her mind please just do it. My ex-husband took forever and kept giving me false hope that we would be able to work it out. Please - just leave now. Spring it on her, tell you you grew apart from her, but don't wait.
2006-10-21 19:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anna F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋