I am 20 years old and mother of a two year old daughter. I am getting married too my roomate and bf of two years who is not the father of my daughter. He was their for me when my daughters father who was my first real bf bailed and he took care of us.I am a 3 weeks pregnant with my current bf child. I do not think he is ready for this and is far too imature craking jokes on how fat i will be wont stop.He also has been cruel to my daughter since her father has been coming around and paying child support.I dont want to want to be my bf mother in this marriage.I also have strong feeling for my daughter father and have been becoming close to him again i think i still love him.I dont think i want another child.would it be wrong for me to bail?
2006-10-21 11:23:13 · 28 answers · asked by claire d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He even has his friends joining in talking about our sex life.
2006-10-21 11:26:48 · update #1
I think you should definitely put a hold on the wedding. You are very young and you have a lot going on. A lot of confusion. Get your life sorted out before you promise to spend it with someone else.
2006-10-21 11:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you'll have feelings esp if he was your first bf and the father of your daughter, but the fact that he bailed doesnt say much about him and how he cared for you and your daughter. If he could walk away so easily now how do you know it wont be so easy for him to do it again. As for your current bf I'm sure he feels your ex is invading on his family since he was the one there for you 2. Men dont mature as fast as women do and if you want to know what kind of father he'll be look at how he treated your daughter. Was he there for her, help you take care of her..Imagine how much better he'll treat his own and give him a chance to get use to your ex being back around. Your ex is your ex for a reason so leave it like that. Make it work with your current boyfriend. Its a little to late to be deciding you dont want another child if your pregnant already. It would be wrong for you to bail. Give your current bf a chance. Talk to him about how you feel and see what he has to say. Don't get all caught up in the moment and make a mistake possibly. Good luck and pray about it
2006-10-21 11:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally believe you have way too much going on and way too many hormones going around with your pregnancy and all. First off, the 1st guy bailed on you, he will not stick by you in tough times...you know this. I don't care how sweet he is now. He is not capable. You need a loving man by your side. I suggest you get immature boyfriend no. 2 into counseling with you and air everything out before you marry him on what exactly you are looking for from him. If you can't afford counseling tell him yourself. Stop acting like an immature *** with your rude comments and start acting like a father and husband. Try to make the second one work, he has been there for you and wants to marry you. Do you really want to be single with kids from two different fathers? He probably hates the fact the first guy is back in the picture and is acting out. If you "hooked up" with the first guy and the second guy found out, you might lose both of them. The first guy truly doesn't care, if he did...he would of been there the whole time.
2006-10-21 11:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by jaqoftrades 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you have real concerns with this potential marriage. That you ask this question seems to show it. Believe me any concerns you have now will just go into your marriage. You need to talk to him about it as well. Don't get into a marriage that you know will be a concern. Use your heart and brains as well. I think though that whatever your descision you should keep the father of your unborn child in the childs life if he wants. Whatever you do do not take this descision lightly. Remember a person hopes their marriage will be lifelong. I know I say this alot but consider couples counseling. He may not realize he is doing these things. Either way your children and you should be safe from any mental or physical abuse. I hope this helps and good luck.
2006-10-21 11:59:29 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to dump this guy. If he really loved you he wouldn't treat you or your daughter that way. I'm not sure you are ready to have another child you sound confused. Does he want the baby? Your daughter has the right to know her father and if he can't handle that then that's his problem. I wish you all the luck in the world, I hope you make have the straight to make the best decision. God Bless
2006-10-21 11:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that your current boyfriend has some growing up to do. but that does not mean that you should go rushing right back into your first babies daddy's arms. i think that you should end it with your current man. because if he can be mean to your child that you have with someone else that not a person you would want in your life or your child's life. maybe part of the reason that you are having feeling for your x is due to the fact that your not happy with your current bf. so, what you need to do is break it off with current and see how things go. you might be surprised where you will end up!!
2006-10-21 11:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say go with your ex because that is good for your daughter.
You say your bf is being cruel to your daughter and that is not good. If his child is born, then he will be more cruel to your two year old daughter when his child comes. Think of your daughter, her life will be ruined.
If you get together with you ex then it is good for your daughter and good for you since you say you are becoming close to him.
If you marry your current bf then you will ruin your daughter's life and your ex might find another woman and move on. Think carefully. Remember if he is cruel to a two year old (everybody is nice to small children), then later on he might be cruel to you. The it will be too late.
Good luck and hope you make the right decision atleast for your daughter's good.
2006-10-21 11:32:54 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are already having doults then it seems to me you already have the answer to you question. But to also add to the way your bf is acting to you daughter thats not right and he needs to quite acting jealous of the real father and should be happy that the father wants to be apart of his daughter life. Your bf need to grow up and quit taking it out on you daughter and take it as a honor that she loves him like a father. But you ex-bf has every right to step to the plate too for his daughter also. Sounds to me over all that your now bf needs to grow-upppp or shut- uppp.
2006-10-21 11:36:13 · answer #8 · answered by Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO it wouldn't be wrong for you to walk out ,, especially if the boyfriend is treating you like you say . who does he think he is being cruel to a 2 year old!!!he sounds like a real jerk! If you and your ex can work things out that would be wonderful especially for your daughter, as far as you being pregnant, what does your ex think of that? will he be able to except the baby like the boyfriend did (in the beginning)if you choose not to keep the baby there are MANY couples unable to have children who would love your baby! You have a big decision to make,,,I wish you luck!!!
2006-10-21 11:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by MissMonk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, I just answered your other question. I think (honestly) that if you need to ask these questions to a bunch of strangers that you may really want to rethink your life. Not only for yourself, but also for your daughter and your new baby. You are way too young to be getting married. You could not have possibly experienced the things in life that make you make an important decision about marrying someone for life. Obviously you don't know me, but I am giving my honest opinion based on your question.
2006-10-21 11:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by Annie Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's starting to act like this now, i would just bail and don't bring the child into this world if you don't even want to be with the father.Maybe he's tripping cause of your ex back in your life,talk to him but if you still love your ex talk with him too to see where it may go before you leave your current boyfriend.
2006-10-21 11:38:55 · answer #11 · answered by serenity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋