My wife moved left me nearly three weeks ago, I know I am slowly beginning to recover from what has happened but the biggest problem I have is that when I wake in the mornings I just can't face actually getting up, I keep saying 'just another half hour' time after time until eventually I HAVE to get up. Today has been a good day and I'm feeling pretty positive but it still started with me not wanting to get up, and now I don't want to go to bed because I fear how I will feel in the morning. I don't dream about my wife (that I am aware of) and I do have things to look forward to in life, but how can I get over this? It's driving me crazy.
2006-10-21 11:02:47 · 29 answers · asked by Very happily married. 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you are suffering from situational depression, which is common when you lose someone in your life, either to death, divorce etc, especially when it isn't your idea. The best thing you can do is take it one day at a time. If you are having a tough time, try to get in touch with a counselor, or if you are totally against therapy, see your doctor for some temporary relief, I take Wellbutrin every day to help me with my depression, and it really helps.
This is so new, only three weeks, so you will have to give yourself time to get over it and get past the initial shock and pain you are experiencing. It is important to try to stay focused on yourself right now, but also to get in touch with friends, family, etc. to try to get your mind off of her. I can tell you from experience, this won't be easy, be eventually you will be ok.
Don't let anyone tell you to "snap out of it" because your emotions are not like a light switch. You can't be in love one day and have no feelings at all the next, but you can take it one day at a time and work on yourself, make sure to eat right, exercise and don't let yourself get sick because depression can make you feel worse, kick it in the butt, before it kicks you in the butt! I wish you all the best.
2006-10-21 11:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to take some time. You do not spend your life with someone and then when/if it ends you just keep going as if nothing has happened. If you are a believing person, then I suggest you pray for wisdom, courage and guidance. If you are not I suggest you find God. He can and will assist you in getting through this very difficult time. Dealing with the loss of a relationship is much like dealing with the death of a loved one. When it happens we grieve. So what you are feeling is very normal. you are going to have to focus on the positive, and keep moving forward in your life. I'm sorry for you that you are going through this, just keep this in mind, what doesn't kill you, well it makes you stronger. And this certainly is not enough to kill you. It will get better, just give yourself some time.Spend sometime doing things that you enjoy, time with friends. Even counseling is a good idea, they are trained to listen and not judge and it is a very good thing to get it all out and leave it where it is and move on. Good luck and God bless
2006-10-21 18:08:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if you are depressed, even though you say you are slowly recovering. As for getting up in the morning, just set your clock, and GET UP, begin your day and look forward to having a life. DO NOT live in the past...no one person is worth it...there are many others out there in this gigantic world and too much to live for and to do...keep busy, think positive, forget the wife and look forward to a better life. I know I have been down that road...it DOES get better, even much better....she is not worth it, believe me...
2006-10-21 18:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by Birdie58 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry you was hurt so bad. But you need to get up off you butt wash your face and look in the mirror. I would bet that youre a good guy if you are asking a question like this on here. There are other women who will come into your life..if this divorce was meant to be..then she was not your sole mate..your sole mate is out there looking for you so start looking for her..you cant keep laying there and wondering what happened..
2006-10-21 18:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by bllnickie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know that old saying " Time heals everything"? It's true..It takes time too get over a break-up.
Getting up and facing a new day will get easier and easier as time goes on. You're actually on the right track, once you get up you start feeling positive. Try telling yourself as soon as you wake up, "This is what I am going too do today!" " I am ready too get up and see what new and wonderful things are going on in the world today"... Just tell yourself postitive things like that. See how it works for you..It can't hurt too try huh? ..
Remember...Time will heal your heart and your mind. Good luck in your future...
2006-10-21 18:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by Rose T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you might be depressed. Maybe you need to see a professional. This is just a phase. It will pass. When you are laying there in bed, think to yourself "I am going to get up and face the world NOW!!!!" and force yourself to get up. When youre feet hit the floor, do 5 jumping jacks or run in place for a minute-anything to get your blood flowing. And then GET MOVING!! You will find it easier and easier to get up as time goes on. Good luck to you.
2006-10-21 19:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by lucygoosy2004 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is inside of you. Seek and you shall find. Ask yourself, Why do I not want to get up? When you start to understand that you may decide that the reasons are not really all that significant to you. Share your problem with trusted friends. It will cut the problems in half. Serve others; that will diminish your own problems. Hope some of these ideas help. Good luck.
2006-10-21 21:10:16 · answer #7 · answered by Bullwinkle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like depression. Your wife leaving you hurts so much, probably more then you want to admit. I had a bout of depression, not from divorce, but a death of a sister. I went through the same thing you're describing. My Doctor gave me some meds to help with my depression. I feel so much better now, and slowly being weaned off the meds. I wish you luck, and hope things get better for you. Take care !!!~~~
2006-10-21 20:27:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make yourself get up. Having someone walk out on you is tough but another better person usually comes around sooner or later. Start finding things that you once enjoyed that maybe she did not like and start doing them. Stay as busy as you can to get your mind off of her. Get yourself out there and start mingling as much as you can. Believe me it is not the end of the world who knows it might be a beginning of a fun fullfilled life ahead.
2006-10-21 18:09:41 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing that it's temporary is a good sign. I experienced a moment where I decided I would no longer let someone who had treated me so shabbily to affect my life so much. After that it was easy. I am the only one responsible for my actions, be it getting out of bed or getting to the gym. Make your decision. You can do it.
2006-10-21 18:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by Jenyfer C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋