I am a married man, this being my second marriage, I am confused. The first marriage lasted about 2 years, and ended when I was sent overseas, when I was in the Army. My current wife, of 4 years, tells me she wants to be intimate with me left and right, but when it comes down to the time, I get excuses, like "I'm too tired" or " not right now, I'm busy" I know she isn’t cheating, I am a Private Investigator, and would know. She’s 23, and we have a son, who's 2. I'm 25. I don’t want another divorce, but should I think about that route? Because this hot/cold B.S. is starting to make me sick.
2006-10-21 10:37:46 · 14 answers · asked by thepoet01 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. First of all, you are WAY to young to have been married twice. You really should get to know your woman before you commit. She sounds like she's in her late 30's, not 23. A young person should want sex ALL THE TIME! I'm 25 and I have the opposite problem of your wife! My b/f just can't keep up to me in that department. A lot of women do the hot/cold thing. She only wants it when she can't have it, but as soon as you show interest, the conquest is gone. Try to talk to her about it, if she doesn't understand then maybe it's time you moved on. Why should you live in misery? Just don't be so quick to tye the knot, OK?
2006-10-21 10:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may totally be in the mood when you TALK about intimacy later, but @ the end of the day she's just tired & is no longer feeling it. Don't talk about doing it all day... maybe for a couple days. She'll either attack you... or when the time comes it will be spontaneous & very hot!!
But don't take OUR word for it... you really should ask her directly why she's not in the mood lately... ask her if there's something you could do or say differently... consider coming home w/ flowers & dinner reservations. Trust me... crap like that STILL works!
Don't just get pissed off & storm out, though. U guys owe it to each other to talk like grown-ups about it. Best wishes 2 you both! :)
2006-10-21 17:48:14 · answer #2 · answered by Rocker Chick 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Bear in mind that some women think that "intimate" means spending time together talking and holding hands, not just between the sheets doing the horizontal mambo.
Also, with a 2 year-old, she may actually be tired.
Hire a sitter, take her out for a walk at the park, followed by a "grownups only" meal,(intimate setting is better than McBurger) talk to her, and you may see a huge up-swing in the "mambo dancing" area. if ya know what I mean!
2006-10-21 17:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by George Curious 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People all say one thing and mean the other. Sometimes its because they're sneaky or slimely. More often it's because they don't know themselves very well. Sometimes it's hard to know what you want. You wife sounds like one of those people - she doesn't know what she wants. Maybe you can plan some 'date nights' when you have a babysitter and a nice romantic dinner? Or maybe you can send the kid to stay with relatives for a whole week and have some couple time? Have you tried that yet?
2006-10-21 17:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because that is our job. Your job is to figure it out.
Just kidding.
Your situation is a toughie, obviously you know that. It may sound trite, but is she feeling "cherished" enough by you - like courted, almost. Flowers for no reason, dinners out, you doing the dishes as foreplay - not kidding there. I don't know her perspective of this - she could obviously be tired from looking after the child and housework and cooking - but being with my man always relaxed me into a puddle! Talk with her - outside of the bedroom- and I wish you luck...
2006-10-21 17:52:23 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she just might need a little more romance in the marriage. Sex for a women starts outside of the bedroom we are like ovens we like to be warmed up first. Give her lots of affection outside of the bedroom and tell her how beautiful she is and what a lucky guy you are to have her in your life. Get mushy us women love it. Then I bet she might just change her mind and start wanting that passion that you two once had.
2006-10-21 18:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do that if he staying up too late but sometimes he gets me in the mood by starting it first and letting me know hes going too and some women will do tlhat but so do men.so do not blame all the women we are not all alike ok .and another thing tell her if she is not up stairs or in the bedroom in so many minutes then
actually she just proabalby not in the mood i am in the mood all the time s o i have been married 14 years and my first only marrriage too no after this one!!!!!!!
2006-10-21 20:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by kandie g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a two year old!!! I'm sure your wife would like nothing more than to be that 21 year old girl again.........hang in there and enjoy these precious years with your son.
2006-10-21 20:45:10 · answer #8 · answered by lady_dibbs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
being intimate sometimes means just a kiss and cuddle also does " the time " mean when u r ready?do u take her out and romance her?b/c if u dont maybe u should think about it maybe she just wants some attension also why cant men pee straight and aim right??????
2006-10-21 17:44:43 · answer #9 · answered by sarah71397 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sex for women is based on romance. much different than what you guys feel. You need to bring the romance back into your relationship and make her feel special. Go out on a date with your wife and get a babysitter. Make time for her and your marriage.
2006-10-21 17:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋