she is not really dating this guy, but has been seeing him for a long time, but he's not the 'settling down kind'. The family doesn't like him at all. Doesn't know what to tell her kids. Traveled 4 hours to get an abortion, but turned around and went home (thank the Lord). She is scared to tell him, her family and her kids because of what 'others will think about her'. I really want to be there to help and support her, just looking for some advice. I truly do believe that babies are gifts from God regardless if you are 14 or 44. They do not make the coice to be here but you have the power to give them a good life wether it is with you or with someone else. They do not 'ruin' your life..........they are LIFE.
Anyhow, just want some friendly advice as to what I can help her with. Thanks in advance.
2006-10-21 09:30:48 · 10 answers · asked by aglady2 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Pregnancy can be a scary thing, especially when other children and an angry family are involved.
Be there for her. She may need to cry or scream or just talk, but be there for her.
Let her know that you ARE her friend and that you WILL be there for her through this. She needs a support system and if you think you're able, step up and be that guidance she needs.
Tell her how proud of her you are that she didn't have the abortion.
Go with her to a family planning office near you and talk about the options she has after birth.
Go with her to doctors appointments ( if she is comfortable). Be there to hold her hand and let her talk if she needs to.
Just be there.
2006-10-21 09:37:03 · answer #1 · answered by bitter_kisses_in_the_rain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So glad she changed her mind. That drive gave her alot of time to think about things. But just tell her, she is 33 and she shouldnt worry about what anyone will think. People have done worse things. Im sure even if they are upset at first, once the new baby comes, everyone will be happy. Your right. Babies are a blessing no matter what. Take her shopping, or out to eat, just do some girl things to make her feel good, and ask her if she wants you to be there with her when she does decide to tell her family. That way she has some good friendly support. Good Luck.
2006-10-21 09:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she just needs to get it out in the open and tell him.. It doesn't matter if hes the settling down type of guy or not.. He's going to be a daddy.. So it is time for him to step up or hand over his money..
As for her being afraid of what her kids and family and everyone will think about her.. She just needs to get over it.. She is an adult.. No matter if someone gets upset over her adult choices in life or not.. that child is going to come into the world either way.. so hopefully for the kids sake they will learn to accept him or her..
Just be there as her friend.. ask her if she wants you there when she tells her family.. be there to support her in any way.. that means the most..
2006-10-21 09:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We're only human.
So she got pregnant. Ok. It's ok. I know it's not the best of circumstances, but everything happens for a reason. She might be worried about what others will think of her, but what is done is done, and she's gonna have to face the music. Telling her family and kids is inevitable, so she should try to make it sound positive instead of being so down on herself. Their reactions depend on her, so she should put it out there like she's not ashamed or anything. If they give her any grief, then she can admit it wasn't the best thing to do, but it happened; and tell them to be supportive or leave her be.
Best of luck. Just let her know she has a friend in you. Make her happy about being pregnant. Be excited for her and maybe get her excited. I know it's hard, but the mind is a powerful thing. Put it in a different perspective for her; put a positive spin on everything for her. It just might take some of the pressure off her, what she's going through.
As for the guy, just tell him he can be as active in the child's life as he wants but she's not expecting much from him or trying to trap him or anything, but she is going to keep it.
2006-10-21 09:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be there for her a baby is a gift from god tell her shes done the right thing and support her tell her you will help with the other children and at the end of the day does it matter if she tells her family this is about her not them she should put her self first and you sound like a great friend
2006-10-21 09:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just goes to show that we can make mistakes at ANY age. I'm glad she decided against the abortion though. If she's already got 2 kids, then it shouldn't be hard to raise another one. She just needs to be honest, and face the facts at this point. She is carrying another "gift", so who care what anyone else has to say about her being pregnant. She's a grown woman who can make her own choices. Tell her congrats for me!
2006-10-21 09:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by Caelan's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She definetly needs her family to get through this and it would be best to tell them. Its a good thing that she backed down of the abortion and I tip my hat down to her, that was a very brave thing she did. Keep watching out for her and supporting her, she is going to need that a lot.
2006-10-21 09:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she has to tell him. See what happens from there. Either she will keep the baby or not. It will be hard but she'll get child support if he's a jerk and every child is such a gift...a pain in the butt sometimes but a real gift!
http://www.myspace.com/margarets33
2006-10-21 09:59:43 · answer #8 · answered by Maggz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be there for moral support,tell her not to worry about what other people think of her,its her baby not theirs. good luck.
2006-10-21 09:36:24 · answer #9 · answered by shepardman1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to be sterilized TODAY
2006-10-21 09:39:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋