why people persecute so much the people who cheat?

Question

why not persecute the ones that made your life a living hell,and pushed you into cheating?i have never cheated,but it has crossed my mind.and it bugs me to know that if i do im gonna be the talk of the day for months.but why are people like that,they dont know what goes on behind my door.so whats up with that?

Answer 1

This is a bizzare question. You seem more concerned about what people will say about you if you cheat instead of being concerned about the state of your relationship. If you don't want people talking about your cheating, then I suggest you don't cheat.

Answer 2

Because it is easy to throw stones from behind their anonymity here on the net. What they are failing to realize is that there are a number of factors that weigh in when one cheats, or feels the need to cheat. I hear, "if you are so unhappy get a divorce first then date" well there may be several reasons why that is unfeasable: finances, kids, family pressures, the history of the relationship, etc. What if every other aspect of the marriage is great, you get along well, you love each other, your life is in a word wonderful, except that sexually you are just incompatable, you had hoped they would change, they hoped you would change, but neither of you do. Sex is important but should you throw away years of marriage over it when the solution is to once in a while step down the street for something different? Just be careful, that is the most important thing.

Answer 3

People just assume a few things about relationships when it comes to cheating:

1 - That the people involved had commited to a monogamous relationship

2 - The person who has cheated has deceived the other person knowingly

3 - The person who has cheated has NOT ended the relationship but decided to go behind their partners back. IF they felt things were not going well they DID NOT do anything effective to resolve it.

4 - CHEATING IS WRONG!

I mean the word itself doesnt sound very positive does it??

The fact that it crossed your mind speaks volumes, why not just end your relationship and be free to do whatever you want or have an open relationship - then it wont be classed as cheating.

Mostly its social norms and the fact that no-one generally likes the feeling of being cheated on. So when they hear about it brings back personal feelings of an instance when it happened to them.

Answer 4

Wow - you are making a very big assumption here. You are assuming that the person who cheats is a victim. I am not surprised you are thinking about cheating. You have the right mind set for it.

People have problems in marriages/relationships. However, it is never right to go outside the relationship to fix those problems. To do so shows a complete lack of respect for the other person. Work on the problems or get out. Very simple.

I hope you do not regret these words in the future. Being cheated on is extremely painful. Hopefully you do not find out how painful.

Answer 5

You're right, We don't know what goes on behind your doors but most of us darn well know that CHEATING IS WRONG ! And the reason we don't persecute the ones that "made your life a living hell and pushed you too cheat" is one simple reason..GET OUT OF THAT MARRIAGE IF IT"S SUCH A BAD ONE! Then go on out and have sex with anyone you please. Now..Does that answer your question? People have choices, we all do. If anyone is in a marriage that is making their life a living hell, they can easily get a divorce these days,. But they deside too use that as an excuse too cheat.

Answer 6

Because relationships are about trust, they are never perfect but basically by cheating you are making the other person believe in a lie and I think that most people (with the emotion, hurt, thousand little disappointments that we experience in relationships everyday taken out of the equation) feel that this is simply unfair. If that person is making your life a misery you should deal with that (and by the sound of it move on) without betraying that person, the person that you cheat with and yourself. I know a number of people who have cheated and they have all regretted it because no matter how hurt they were they chose to retaliate out of that hurt rather than actually address the underlying issue. The other thing is that you are using the person that you are cheating with as a means rather than an ends - they make you feel better, you feel like you are getting back at your partner, they make you feel loved or appreciated, however if you actually cared about them as a person you would deal with your relationship before turning to them.
The other thing is that no one likes to think that cheating could happen in their relationship or to/by people 'like them' so they feel the need to demonise anyone who does make bad choices without remembering that this person is probably feeling very lost and vulnerable and is actually just like them, just in different circumstances.
I know that on paper (screen?) this sounds far more black and white than it feels. The thing is you can't control your partner's responses (believe me I have tried!!) but you can control your choices. Ask yourself when you are tempted to escape to someone else’s arms whether what you are actually looking for is that feeling in your own relationship.
I truly hope that you are able to work this through.

Answer 7

My marriage was miserable but I didn't cheat. My husband was mentally abusive - he was hypercritical and I never knew whether I would come home to a sunny, cheerful husband or a carping, whining, impossible to please misery. Most of the time, I could do nothing right. If I did the ironing, I should have done something else first. Everything had to be done his way and in the order he directed. I was belittled and undermined on a daily basis, as well as humiliated in front of friends and family, not that they were impressed - they thought he was a fool.

In the end, he was the one who cheated and when I told him it was over, his only concern was about money. It didn't occur to him to say that he loved me and didn't want to split.

I fell in love with another man before that marriage was over, but I did nothing about it, even though the man fell in love with me too. I waited until after my divorce was final before I started seeing anyone else. I understand your position but there is a lot of truth in the old saying "Be off with the old love before you are on with the new."

Answer 8

If cheaters don't want to be persecuted,then they shouldn't cheat,nor should they attempt to justify,explain,or offer lame excuses for their behaviour on a site like this,simple as that really.I,for one,have an open season with regards to cheaters-having neither cheated or been cheated on,i feel fully justified in slating these selfish pigs who are only concerned with what THEY want,to the exclusion of all others.The hurt,damage and devastation to family's who have a cheater in their midst is phenomenal-but does the cheater care?nah,course they don't.No-one "pushes" them into cheating,therefore they get what they deserve-self--inflicted,no sympathy,except for the victims.

Answer 9

they prosecute everyone who has done something against the laws and what conventions say 'should be right'. It's not right or wrong as there isn't a perfect solutions, all societies need some basic laws and orders to keep the basics running smooth and protect each one of us. We will never quite agree with all of them, but they are the best one can do for this very so complicated world!

Answer 10

If cheating has crossed your mind that is YOUR fault not someone else's you need to learn to be responsible for your own deeds rather than try to blame them on someone else. If you CHOOSE to cheat that is YOUR fault. There are other ways to "fix" a problem than cheating, cheating is the cowards way. If you CHOOSE to be a coward then you CHOOSE the persecution so suck up and deal with it coward.