it all started when my mum died 8 months ago.He is being protective over me and i feel like i cant do anything. i want to go out with my friends but he wont let m.Because he wants tomeet the friend andthen let me go out with him.Its allbecause i liedto him the other week because i said i was goingout with friends and i was actually going out with some boy and lied to them about it because i knew noone would let me go.nowhe wont letme goanywhere because he thinks i am might lie to him and go off with some boy.I feel crap and i feel like i have got nothing to live for.and then because of everything with my mum,he and his girlfriend(dad and mum were divorced) want me to open up to him and are both assuming how i feel etc. and they are saying thier going to put me back into counselling. i dont need it . i need them to stop trying make me not have friends. its getting me down i already feel depressed about my mum and the way she died and i feel like crap.please give me some advice?
2006-10-21 08:38:06 · 22 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
and plus.....im not stupid i know what i'm doing i want a career and everything, i want to be able to go round with my female friends at least.and i know i shouldnt have lied to him but i did.and he needs to understand why i lied to him
2006-10-21 08:50:51 · update #1
i cant talk to him he is as stubborn as anything and insists what he is doing is right. i havea mobile he could callme but he wants to knowthe friend and everything,and iam not having him meet my boyfriends.and what does it tell you if i have to come on the internet to get advice? i can understand my dads postition but i need at least a little bit of freedom.
2006-10-21 09:00:18 · update #2
and i wanna do well at school! im not going to get pregnant, i am not trying tobe mature either,with allthats gone on in my whole life thats justhow iam soplz dont judge me on how youthink i behave i getgd grades in schooli do well i just wantto be able to have a social life. :(
2006-10-21 09:02:32 · update #3
That's a Dad's job.
2006-10-21 08:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi there, I can't imagine how you must feel and feel sad for you. The reason why your Dad is being like this is because he is worried about you and wants to keep you safe. It's hard for Dad's when you reach 15 because to them you are still there little girl and to you you are grown up. 15 is a bit of a no man's land anyway. I'm sure things will improve but you must give it time and there is not a lot of pint in going for counselling unless you think you need it or it'll probably not work. Good luck x
2006-10-22 03:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by dave j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie, you have to be able to look at this from both sides. If you had a daughter whom you love very much and are concerned for her saftey, you would be extra careful too, especially if she was dishonest. For future reference, it's always best to be honest and upfront, even with parents. I've been in your situation when I was your age, and trust me, life will go on. Let a little more time go by and when you feel comfortable, talk to your father, let him know how you feel about going out and about how unhappy you are. Good parents appreciate this. Only time and maturity will solve this problem.
Also, be sure you yourself re-think the things you want and whats important. Prioritize and stay focused on your shcool work and your health/saftey. Remember that all people cant be trusted.
I promise things will be okay, I've been there, and when your 21 years old, even just 17 or 18, you'll see that everything was and will be okay! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-21 08:49:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its a dads job to protect his daughter no matter what age she is. You have gone through a lot this year and he wants to shield you from anymore grief and heartache.
You said you lied to him about a boy and there's been a loss of trust. That needs rebuilding and the only way to do it is to be honest.
If you are felling as low as your question suggests you really need to talk to your dad or his girlfriend if you can. Bottling up that kind of pain can only be destructive.
Your Dad will also be feeling upset about your mums death even though they were divorced give him some understanding and some TLC as well.
Hope it all works out.
A Dad.
2006-10-21 08:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by mystralys 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Parents will always be protective my mother did the same up until I was 32, and she still trys . Have your friends over boys - girls, have your father meet them even when you get older you will go to your parents house so he can meet the parents life is a dance you learn as you go. One thing I know is love between parents and their children is unconditional and will always be there.You respect your parents and they will respect you back it takes time at that age!!!Find what you and your father have alike or in common and go from there.Show some interest with you and him your own life will happen you are still young. Youth is a very good thing it gets harder as you get older.you will get what you want , it may happen now or it may happen later. But it definitely will come .
2006-10-21 09:09:28 · answer #5 · answered by keri0827 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you give your dad enough good details about your friends --- and then BE RELIABLE (tell the truth) about where you go and what you do -- for a few months, then he probably will calm down a bit and loosen up. Another answerer suggested speaking to him like an adult about your feelings and needs --- good answer! Try both. Try also talking to him about HIS feelings and needs. It may make a difference if he knows you care how he feels, and that you're trying to understand his side.
And do always come back to Yahoo if you feel bad -- and talk to us. If it gets really bad -- counselling (but someone you want to talk to and open up to!). But "medium bad" --- there will always be someone here to talk to.
2006-10-21 09:48:41 · answer #6 · answered by Janet712inEngland 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
, you are only fifteen and going by the way you spell you could do with staying at home and doing a bit of homework, you have years and years in front of you, you are a child and you have answered this question yourself really he knows he can't trust you because you have already lied to him dint you thing that was a foolish thing to do ,mums and dads know all the tricks you know,why dint you settle down to your school work stop trying to grow up to quickly and do something to make your mum proud of you because she will be watching over you,dont be in a hurry otherwise you will end up with a child of your own, and where will you be then, because you wont be going out then
2006-10-21 08:58:42 · answer #7 · answered by twinsters 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest putting your grown up head on and talking to him like an adult....................
Tell him what you have written on here, print it out and show him if its easier, you need to lean on him at the moment we all do at some point but its trusting him enough to do so...............
The lying didn't help matters but explain to him the reason you did it, and providing he sets a time to come in which you stick to and you tell him where you are going there is no reason not to let you go out even if it is with a boy.........
If you have a mobile phone he can contact you on that if he is anxious, if you havent got a mobile suggests he purchases you one...
Honey you need to share your thoughts with someone, grief is hard to deal with, when you lean on someone but it will be hell and back on your own..........................He cares which is the way it should be viewed it isn't because he doesn't care...........
I feel for you and wish I could help xxxx
2006-10-21 08:53:41 · answer #8 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not delay dating a year or two? Why not just join a club that your father may approve of where there are both guys and girls and you can have a good sociable time. It could be a sports club, a church group, a group providing community help. This would be an environment that your father will be comfortable you are in.
2006-10-21 08:46:13 · answer #9 · answered by Chris C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You lied right, now go to your parents and apologize for having done that and thatmay get things moving.
Also you are only 15,too young to be floating around with guys. Too many girls at the age have sex and get pregrant. Your parents are only tring to safe guard you from broken heart and being a mother at that young age band miserable for rest of your life. growm up girl
2006-10-21 08:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by R H 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All i can suggest you do for now is to be obedient and do as you`re told etc just until your dad regains trust in you again .. At least u have people who care about u , ur one of the lucky ones , not all kids get that .
2006-10-21 10:16:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋