My fiance has a 18mo daughter who the mother refuses contact with unless it's only him who sees her and that they be alone! I've met her and the baby before and she was amazed how well we all did because her daughter loved us, then she changed her rules. Since then she has called saying how much she loves him, then she hates him, then she can't be a mom at 22, she freaks out about childsupport which comes out of his check and she hasn't received. She refuses for myself or my 3 boys to meet their step-sister because she doesn't want her confused about who the mom is and who her 'true' family is. We got a lawyer and are awaiting a mediator date to start working things out. We can not realistically talk with her, she lies, she cries all the time, she threatens to send her friends to beat him up, she wants him to take down his myspace because he has pictures of our family and she doesn't think that's right. She wants him to call her but he refuses unless it's about the baby. All we want..
2006-10-21 07:57:12 · 5 answers · asked by llbm3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
to see "our daughter". We have roating schedules and want to be able to take her from day care and bring her back to day care. Or pick her up from the grandma during the weekend. We can not communicate with the mother because she is so attached to her ex she is only focused on him and not the child. We want to see her and eventually work into overnights or a set schedule, but can not have communication with the mother unless we possibly do it thru e-mail. Is this possible with a 1 year old.
BTW I was a single mom when I was 15, married for 7 years when I was 20 had 2 more kids. And did it on my own. She is 22 I'm now 30 and she's freaking out about being a mom. I understand she's scared but she really isn't a pleansant person all together. I just want to be able to see my step-daughter and let the boys have a sister.
2006-10-21 08:06:13 · update #1
It sounds like she is a controlling person and is still trying to control your man. Once they split up SHE HAS NO OTHER RIGHTS OR SAY SO into his life. I think she is using her own child as a bargaining chip to get what she wants. Don't cave into her demands. You only have to obey what the judge deems correct for the situation. Other than that let her take a flying leap so to speak.
If you as a family go to see the little girl then that is what you pray and ask for through the courts. That mom can't say who can and cannot be around her daughter during visitations or even at your home. She certainly cant say anything about what is posted on-line because it does not pertain to her. Very manipulative of her and she truly needs to let go. I think she is jealous.
Just do what your lawyers and mediator say and ignore her demands.
Also, try your best not to say inflammatory things about her around your children. They may start to despise her when in fact this is an adult issue about a child not a family issue to which their feelings could get involved and more trouble be brewed up.
*I'd get a restraining order against her if she is threatening harm to you or your fiance and sons.
As for visitation rights because the daughter is still young only a few times a week will do, it all depends on how much the father feels is necessary to connect with his daughter and have quality time. As she gets older more time will be required in my opinion.
So, for now don't get stressed. Let the courts handle this and try to keep your family encouraged as much as possible until these things have settled down.
I wish you the best in this situation.
2006-10-21 08:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by dahnnna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that one's kids should always know the truth. That's a fact because of the problems that will be caused later on down the road; however, I would not get involved in this because it is not your family unless this friend and you are very close and have known each other for a long time and it's someone you really care about. I would not for starters be suggesting that the father tell her since he's the sex offender, and I can almost guarantee you he will be strictly opposed to that. This family your describing sounds pretty dysfunctional, but mine is too. If it was me, I would tell my friend (only if this was someone I really care about), that THEY need to sit this girl down and tell her because at least she'll know why the friend is doing what he's doing, and you also need to watch your *** around this girl, especially if she's bipolar because I have dealt with that before, and it can get messy real quick. If it was me, I would stay out of it altogether I only get involved if it's one of own.
2016-05-22 08:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the child is so young it would probably be best for now to just have the father visit especially since there is problems relating to the mother but all parties should enter into family therapy.
2006-10-21 08:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mediator should help you work through the issues.. It seems she wants him back but he has moved on so that won't happend. Maybe counseling would help on all parts.. :)
2006-10-21 07:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by ItalianRose29 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he pays his child support and he has his rights. she should have no choice whether he sees the child or not.
2006-10-21 08:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by Matthew F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋