last year she had depression and anorexia.
it was during a tough time too..
because her family was about to move out of state, and she had just started a new school.
well they ended up NOT moving..because "her depression made it hard on the family".
they tell her that pretty much everyday...
and it's like they punish her for having it.
she got over it..but it's comming back.
so is the anorexia (she says "her stomach hurts") but i doubt it.
all of this is because her family gives her no freedom (they won't even let her go to the mall w/o a parent present). and she's done nothing to deserve it (besides the depression..which apparently "made her parents give up a lot of things they wanted")
i don't know what to do. what kind of advice could i give her?
2006-10-21 07:31:53 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
she's tried going to a counselor.
but what drives me NUTS is that her mom thinks she knows EXACTLY what goes on in sara (my friend's) head.
she refused to leave the room..
so it's not like sara's gonna complain about her mom while she's THERE!?!
anything else?
2006-10-21 07:45:32 · update #1
she's 15 and a freshman.
i've known her since 6th grade.
she's been going through changes lately..and changing her style.
but it's not bad...so i don't get what her parent's problem is.
(and they don't even hesitate when yelling at her while i'm over)
2006-10-21 07:48:27 · update #2
You need to make sure that she gets the professional help that she needs. That is a lot for one person to handle by themselves. Her parents should truly be ashamed of themselves for making their child feel guilty about anything. That is no way to parent. She needs professional help to get her to realize that her parent's faults are not her fault. If anyone is to blame for her condition it is them. The sooner she realizes that the better off and healthier she will be. All you can do as her friend is be there for her when she needs you. Even if you don't feel like listening to her whine and complain, do it anyways. She really needs someone that she can count on no matter what. As much as we try we can't really fathom what she is going through. Good luck!!
2006-10-21 07:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by Laura D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... Can we get some more info? How old is she/how long have you known her? How well do you know her family? Do you know them well enough to speak to them, even if you are her age/friend? Tell them that you are deeply concerned for her. This question goes for both sides - When have they conciously said something positive about one another? It sounds like she's not the only one with depression. It sounds like her family has some seriously deep seated issues with depression and co-depedendancy. Have they sought treatment? Have you asked them specifically if they blame her for the family's problems? Chances are they don't realize the severity of what they're doing.
I was a child of a mentally ill family and now as a mother myself, I have to remind myself how the smallest whisper of disapproval to my child can be a deafening blow to my child's heart.
You have to keep in mind the goal for any form for the situation at hand. The goal here is what is best for your friend and her family - not to punish someone for their mistakes (i.e. - her parents mistreating her). And any form of intervention has to represent that.
Another thing - A good piece of advice for any parent - They key to being a great parent is to know that you have great kids.
2006-10-21 14:42:54 · answer #2 · answered by baabaababy77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a family situation like this, solving it between themselves will get them nowhere. so i think its time to get a third person involved to act as a mediator. it should be a person who is not biased to either side. someone who could counsel the parties and allow them to air their feelings. this has to be done immediately before your friend gives in to a depression she could no longer handle. the feeling of rejection by the parents is the most painful experience a child can go through and this should not be allowed to go on. so, make a move, its the best thing you can do for your friend.
2006-10-21 14:44:03 · answer #3 · answered by j6shawie26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the whole family needs to go to a family counselor/therapist to me...to forget their pride and get some help....this is not just THEIR life, but their daughter' s life that could literally be lost or saved during this important time in ALL their lives. they need to learn to function WITH each other. Sounds like everyone is functioning not just independently, but actually AGAINST each other right now. Good luck!
2006-10-21 14:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Lips 4077 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek a professional! Immediately! If her depression gets worse and her annorexia is related, she may end up bolemic and die. Tell her that family counselling is the best way to go, but if the family won't, go herself.
2006-10-21 14:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the whole family needs some counseling to work out thier issues.
2006-10-21 14:33:37 · answer #6 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should talk to her doctor about antidepressants. In the mean time her family should lighten up ang give her some freedom.
2006-10-21 14:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by Candace T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like she needs a professional...some things are better dealt with someone who is familiar with these types of illnesses
2006-10-21 14:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by princessdawn1982 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Y DONT U ALL SIT TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT IT
2006-10-21 14:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by ;p 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋