I've been w/ my husband for 6 yrs now. Just a few mths after we got married, he told me something that really hurt me. You see I've always had a low self esteem when it comes to my appearance. I've been criticized by almost everyone I know from a very young age. I told him of this and how it's affected me. Then 1 day out of the blu as I was just minding my own bizness, he came to me and said, "U have an ugly face!" I responded, "Gosh, ur so mean." I thought he was just trying to be mean, but he responded, "It's the truth!" I went to bed in tears. How could someone who made me feel so beautiful after all those yrs make me feel so ugly just after a few words? That night, I stopped loving him. I still care for him, but I was no longer in love with him. I wanted him to say he was sorry and that he really does think I'm beautiful. He never did even when I told him how hurt I was. Sometimes I want to leave him, but I jus keep thinking that noone's gonna love me more anyway.
2006-10-21 07:28:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hmmm....sounds like a crazy situation to me....and I commend you for not fighting back with him....Some guys are just jerks...and thats all they will ever be...but not all. And im sure there is another guy out there that will tell you that you are beautifull and mean it.
2006-10-21 07:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What he said was really cruel... you are his wife. Don't buy his BS, he just doesn't want you to leave him or his upset about his own life and is taking it out on you.
This relationship and his behaviour is just going to get worse without some help. If you want to stay with him and work on it, go to counselling with him so he can understand from an outside authority that what he did was seriously wrong.
If he won't go or you don't think you could forgive and love him again, move on. Your sense of insecurity and fear of not finding someone else is just an illusion. Know that people do it all the time. Just step out of your comfort zone. Otherwise, he has not only hurt you, you have allowed him he to take your dignity and some of your soul
.
2006-10-21 14:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by David M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Goodness, you need to find some REAL friends, people that will love you for who you are, and you need to dump this husband of yours right away. He is emotionally and mentally abusing you, and that my friend - is a form of control. Go back and stay w/ your folks until you get on your feet, start your life over again. You have a lovely soul and I'd be willing to bet you are prettier than you can see. When a person is told time & time again ugly and petty things, you start to believe them. Look in the mirror and see the real you, the one that is alive and healthy and ready to make a new start. Good luck!
2006-10-21 14:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like both you and your husband need therapy. Not couples therapy, but individual therapy. I say this because if he can come to you from out of the blue and tell you that you are ugly, then he obviously has some issues. And you already recognize your low self esteem issues. Either he is warped, or he was trying to hurt you. Either way, you need to figure out why he said what he said.
2006-10-21 14:33:06 · answer #4 · answered by non_apologetic_american 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a very cruel man. to tell someone they are ugly is a very very uncool thing to do. I wouldnt worry about not finding someone else, because that will happen.( if you make yourself available) I also wouldnt worry about what an idiot like your husband thinks. If he doesnt like your looks then that is his problem not yours. Trust me there is some lucky guy out there who is going to love everything about you. Tell your husband that you dont feel the same and work out the terms of seperation/ Dviorce and find someone who makes you happy. Staying with a man who doesnt appreciate your obvious warmth and intelligence is only going to make you miserable. Trust me on this,I am speaking from experience.
2006-10-21 15:34:48 · answer #5 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously doesn't care about your feelings and that shows that he doesn't really love you. he might have said that to sabotage the relationship. how could he be so mean after so many years? i think you should seperate for awhile and if it is not worth salvaging, get a divorce. like you said, you dont ove him anymore. AND NEVER EVER SAY THAT SOMEONE WONT LOVE YOU BECAUSE GIRL, YOU ARE WORTH IT. Who decides who is ugly and who is beautiful? the last time i checked, only the person that created you can say that. Avoid negative people.
2006-10-21 14:38:37 · answer #6 · answered by ShellyBelly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you haven't mentioned weather you have kids, as most people stay in a relationship for the sake of the kids. i would recommend taking a break, possibly staying at a friends or family's, a break will do you good. and also if he comes looking for you then you will see the way he really feels, also you will see the way you feel. i hope this is of some help to you.
2006-10-21 14:40:24 · answer #7 · answered by amethyst2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first work on your self esteem
see a spychiatrist, talk to someone concentrate on you
after you done that, if he continue not to value you tell him to take a hick
but I douth it that he thinks that you are ugly
even if you think that I am wrong stay with him so he can the bills while you use your money to get counsoling or what ever that will make you fell better include plastic surgury
2006-10-21 14:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive him and stay with him...but you will NEVER forget that he said that. Leave him. You are beautiful and there is nothing worse than being with someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. Go look at www.thesecret.tv and watch the trailer.
2006-10-21 14:40:53 · answer #9 · answered by LOVE everyone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw honey...I'm so sorry...Guys are jerks...The only thing I can tell you to do is find out what you want...Don't think of being ugly or beautiful, just think anout what YOU want....If he can't or won't give that to you then go out and look for it.....It IS out there...I Promise.....You are the most beautiful thing to someone out there.....I know it is hard to believe but I know it is true....Both my parents had that problem and I am too.....You will be fine if you follow your heart!!!
2006-10-21 14:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by Sporty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that you are beautiful and he does not love you if he would say something so mean to you. You need to leave and find someone who will make you happy. You are miserable now, what do you have to lose?
2006-10-21 14:38:13 · answer #11 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋