Teenage pregnancy, why is everyone so flipping rude....?

Question

yes, so we all know that teenage pregnancy is not ideal, but when a teenage mother asks a question, providing it is sincere and not just some idiot messing around, why do so many people feel the need to answer with lectures and rude comments about keeping their legs closed and the horrible mistake they have made. Don;t you think they realize this? If it is a sincere question it deserves a sincere answer, if you can;t provide an answer you feel is accurate or correct than why don;t you ignore the question and move on to another one?

As for them telling their age along with the question, i believe it is because a teenage body reacts differently to pregnancy and sometimes knowing the age of the mother is important in providing an accurate answer to the question they have posed.

What is everyones problem?

I am not a teenage mother, I am 28 pregnant with my third.

Answer 1

You are absolutely right! Its not ideal, but these young mother's-to-be need support and advice just as much (if not more) than someone who is 25 and married with a child already.
Those girls don't need to be lectured by strangers. They endure that from their parents and family on a daily basis as it is.

Answer 2

IT DEPENDS...
if the teen is so nieve to be like, "well my baby daddy loves me even though hes with 3 other girls, and i dont care that 80% of teen fathers leave the mothers" and "im gonna go get on welfare and not work" or " I wont finish school" and "im gonna stay at home and my parents will pick up the slack and I can still go out and party" , THEN HECK YEAH, they are going to get some replies, probably a reality check that they NEED... and yeah they may see that as rude, but obviously someone in their life HASNT told them the facts.

HOWEVER, those teenage girls who made a mistake, know it was a mistake, but are determined to do what they gotta do and make the best out of a not too ideal situation. My hat goes off to them. It takes guts to be a teen pregnant, still go to school and work and be the best parent they possibly can be.

I also believe it is the kids fault if they arent responsible and use protection, but I also believe its some of the parents fault... they should KNOW what their kid is doing.

Answer 3

I agree. I remember asking a question a while back when I first became pregnant, and I mentioned I was 19. I had a lot of rude comments that had nothing to do with the question. What people didn't know is that yes, I am 19, but I am married to a man with a stable job and I already have my associates degree. People can sometimes be judgemental and stereotype, so I wouldn't worry about it. No matter where you go there are people like that. Just keep a positive attitude so you can positively affect your growing baby!

Answer 4

I wrote my question for the teenage mothers who ask questions irrelevant to their age. For example: "I'm 15 pregnant and I would like to know what are your ideas on spanking?" or "I'm 12 pregnant and would like to know when will my baby be delivered if I conceived on January 21st?" Where is the relevance to age in those questions? I don't have one issue with teenage pregnancy. I'm a teenage parent. I don't stereotype--when I see someone though just living up their age for attention I'll call them out. You can defiantly tell the difference between a self-absorbed teen and a typical mother. Look at me and Tiffany's questions. You will tell that it really is NOT scary to include age.

Answer 5

I'm 17 years old, and 36 weeks pregnant. And I agree, pregnancy sometimes can be unplanned, but it is never a mistake. I consider my baby a miracle because I was on birth control up until I found out that I was pregnant, and I was already 12 weeks and 2 days by the time I found out. I believe that she was truly meant to be, and so does her father. Teenage mothers aren't whores; not a lot of them anyway. It only takes having sex one time to get pregnant, if you have sex at the right time, I mean. People should encourage teenage mothers. I'm a senior in high school with every intention of graduating, and going to college. There's ways to still go on with the plans that you had prior to pregnancy.

Answer 6

I guess people are rude because teenage pregnancy is not socially accepted. But what boths me is people discussing Porn and Cursing is accepted. I am 20 and I have never been pregnant. But I had sex at a younger age and I could have very well have gotten pregnant. So I don't look down upon it. I think most of the people who are ugly had sex at a young age too. People need to think about ...what if it was me or my daughter!

Answer 7

Those of us whose comments appear to be "judgemental" are simply being realistic. The young, unmarried girls and women made a mistake that is true. They made their own judgmental mistakes by becoming sexually active too young and without protection. That is a error in judgement.

There is also a troubling trend in our culture that "judgemental" is bad. No it is not. We base our answers on our world view and moral values. Just because my world view doesn't match your world view doesn't mean basing my answers on said world view is wrong. Nor is it wrong to express it in a forum such as this.

Just because we are not mushy-gushy, and cooing "everything's going to be okay honey" does not mean we are uncaring or sympathetic.

Mushy-gushy, everything's going to be okay type answers only sugar coat the situation.

Those girls and young women are risking their childrens' futures by thinking they can raise their own babies.

Babies raised by babies are at risk for physical abuse by immature parents.

Have you ever seen a five month pregnant fifteen year old girl have a foot stompping temper tantrum? I used to work in a special school within a school for pregnant teens. That was an eye opener. That girl planned on keeping the baby.

Children born to young unmarried mothers and raised by their mothers grow up in poverty in many cases. The mothers are uneducated at worst or under educated at best.

The young mothers will often bounce from boyfriend to boyfriend looking for a man to support her and the kid. Many preditors look for desperate young mothers with children for their sick perversions.

Children with a live-in or other unrelated male are at higher risk than children being raised by both parents.

The trend in our culture that has been normalizing young unwed mothers keeping and raising their children alone only feeds into the abuse risks.

The girls should really think twice about keeping their babies and consider the adoption option as the best for both them and their babies.

The girls NEED reality, sometimes in Dr. Laura sized doses.

Answer 8

I completely agree with you. I think a lot of it is because of the stereotype surrounding teenage mothers. Teen mom's are on welfare; teen moms are whores; teen moms don't know how to use protection; teen moms are uneducated, etc. I was a teen mom and was none of the above. There's one thing I don't agee with in your question however; a pregnancy is NEVER a mistake. It may be unplanned, (I've had 2 unplanned), but never a mistake.

Answer 9

everyone have thier own idea about pregancies teenagers some think thry cant get pregnant because they use a c but some want to get pregnant they think its easy but its not it is a big deal teens shouldnt be having s anyway its a big deal

Answer 10

Hey I fully agree with you I am almost 17 and pregnant this is not my first I was preg. then I miscarried at 8 weeks that was when I was 14. I have no regrets about this at all. It was my choice and I made it.