NEED advice ergent!?

Question

I have this friend shes 15 and pregnant parents want noting to do with the baby the dad keeps changing his mind about whether he wants to be a dad or not and her boyfriend wants nothing to do eith it or her because she cheated on him but the stubborn girl she is doesnt want any help. shes got no place to stay no money or food pleaz give advice!

Answer 1

Ok....First off don't tell her to get an abortion. The last thing she needs on her plate is the guilt of killing her unborn baby. Theres organazations that help single mothers, by giving them food, baby formula, sometimes even helping them find a job or a place to stay. I dont know where you're from so you need to research and find places like that in your area. Tell her that NOBODY gets by in life without a little help from others so accepting it doesnt make her helpless, it makes her human.
Im pretty sure her parents arent allowed to kick her out if she's underage. Possibly you can get another adult (like your parents) to talk to them and point out that just because she's made a mistake doesnt mean they need to dis own her. we all make them. Tell her to dump the dead beat boyfriends if theyre not going to help her anyway, because all they'll do is drag her down. But I would look into getting child support from the father. He's obligated to give her a certain amount of his paycheck. (if he has no job or if he's under age, his parents might have to help)

Most importantly , just be there for her. Everyone else is letting her down, make sure you dont do the same. Stubborn or not eventually she'll need a shoulder to cry on, make sure you're there for her. offering to babysit when it becomes overwhelming might be a good idea, so she knows shes not alone.

If she really doesnt want to be a mother, then adoption is a good idea. PLENTY of people are desperate for a baby. That way she doesnt have to put up with the responsibility of being a mother at such a young age, but doesnt have to live the rest of her life with the guilt of having an abortion.

Answer 2

Your friend is in a tough spot......( And obviously SOME OF THE people on here can't give you ANY REAL advice!!!)

If I were you, I would talk to your parents about her staying with you for a little bit. Then you should see if she would go to a special home for pregnant girls. Maybe your parents can arrange that. At least she would have a more permanent place to stay.
See if your parents will talk to her parents...Maybe they are just angry right now, but if they cool off they will let her come back. Tell her to forget about the baby's dad. She needs to figure out what she wants to do. She has a few options. I really doubt she would want to keep the baby, but there is always adoption!! I disapprove of Abortion, but it is her choice. I hope this helps you a bit.........You can email me and tell me a little more if you like. I'll see if there is any more advice I can give you!!!

Answer 3

Hello, this may be a very very scary time for your friend and the first thing to do is stay calm. How far is the pregnancy? Is there no other people she can re-lie on? If not then find the number for or go to a housing council or something and they should be able to give your friend help and ex plane that your friend has no money they also maybe able to help. But as your friend is under age and legally not an adult I'm unsure of the out come?.

Answer 4

I know it my be hard but maybe she should consider alternative options. Like an open adoption. That way she can still keep in contact with child. She can even pick the parents. If she has no money or place to stay, it sounds like the baby might be better off with a little help.

Answer 5

It doesn't matter if the guy wants to be a dad or not - legally he owes her child support for the next 18 years. So tough for him. I don't blame the boyfriend one bit for dumping her.

I say give her the number to an abortion clinic, or if she doesn't want that an adoption agency. Whatever you do, stay as far out of it as possible. Your friend is a moron, you need a better class of friends.

Answer 6

Your friend has BIG problems. Not a lot can be done to help her out. She sounds like a "free wheeling" girl that takes NO responsibility for her actions. Her mother and dad are going to have to take control of the situation. Right now they are in shock that their "baby" has gotten herself into trouble.

They will settle down and accept it before long. The girl MUST be taken care of, receive the proper food, medical care and love.

Someone else may have to take her in, but with her reputation she sounds like she is on the verge of "cannot be helped" if she is out with different men and, I would be very hesitant to take her in since she is "out of control".

How old is the father? Is he 18 or over 21? He may have NO choice in being a father. But the girl needs help to take care of that situation.

There is many places that un-wed mothers can go for help. Check into this for her. Talk to the pastor of one or more churches and ask them for advice and/or help. Help is out there, she just needs to find it, ask for it and accept it. They won't put up with her present attitude and promiscuous attitude, but they will help her.

The bottom line is: Her mom and dad need to take her back into their house and take care of her. She isn't the first not the last to become pregnant by being stupid. Good luck. Pops

Answer 7

There are shelters out there to help women in her position. The decision is hers. She can also go to the state building and sign up for benefits for her and the baby. They will help with cash, foodstamps, and medical atleast until the baby is born. She could also go the the YWCA and they will help her get herself going in the right way. Womens health center helps with cereal and milk to make sure you are getting the nutrition that you need. There are so many places out there to help you, one place you could start is finding a community action agency in your area and they will send you in the right direction. I know how tough it is and when you don't know of these programs then you seem lost. They are there to help you take advantage of them. Forget the other people right now and think of what you are going to do. Put yourself first and figure out what you want.

Answer 8

What a heart wrenching position to be in. As a friend, I would encourage her to search her heart, find support, seek counseling. Hear alternatives rationally from all sides, in order to make a decision based on all the information received. This is a decision she will have to live with for the rest of her life. She must be able to look at herself in the mirror for the rest of her life. I send positive thoughts your direction & intend the best outcome for the highest good for all involved. I hope for compassion for her from others that may judge her harshly.

Answer 9

If she is still going to scholl talk to the school counselor about it and see if they can help. Try to get her to go to the health department or some sort of pregnancy clinic in your area. She needs prenatal care as soon as possible. Maybe she is just overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do or where to turn. Talk to your parents and see what they think.

Answer 10

its so frustrating when teens get themselves into these situations when there are so many decent couples trying so hard to have a baby and can't. she needs a lot of help. if she has the baby i hope she thinks about adoption becuz it really doesn't sound like she's ready to be a mom. and it's going to be very hard with no help.